Rainwatch

I was getting a haircut. ” so, what’s it going to be?” said the barber. ” its going to be a three at the sides and back, nice and short on the top, spiked,tossed, more tossed than spiked, gel, to about this length” I said whilst grabbing a strand of hair to show the length I wanted. There was what I deduced was a socially awkward middleaged man in the next chair beside me. There are subtle differences between a man and a boy. One difference being the ability to socialize comfortably. If one does not become highly socialized one will end up like this […]

A week ago I was up at my parents, conversing with the neighbour. A strange character in my opinion unlikeable shuffling up the road forced his way into the conversation. Perhaps the neighbour knew him, I didn’t nor did I want to. As I suspected the neighbour didn’t like him either and remarked to me that this interruptor who must have been at least 60 fancied himself as a hardman. Yesterday I was up at my parents again and noticed whilst driving into the estate a house which looked like it had been fire damaged. I got talking to the neighbour and got the full […]

I was in the store in pursuance of wood varnish spray. Unfortunately I couldn’t find it so I engaged the female clerk who looked foreign, ” Hi, Im looking for the wood varnish spray” I said. ” What spray?” Said the foreign clerk. One has to stick to his own kind, ppl outside of the Anglosphere tend to be different, when English is not the first language communication problems tend to ensue. ” the wood varnish spray” I said. ” I don’t know wood varnish spray” she said. A girl in her 20’s a fellow shopper got involved, “What was that? The wood varnish spray? […]

Last Sunday I was reclining on the sofa, looking at the ceiling, my left hand on my forehead, trying to worry, trying to worry about the reality of a weedless Christmas. What is worse than no weed is poor quality weed, that is my fucking nightmare. She was sitting opposite me, not so much scrolling on her phone but jabbing into her phone with temper. Her energy was stsrting to get on my nerves. ” look how cranky you get without weed” said I. ” you got me into it, didn’t you” she said. ” Don’t pin on it on me baby” I said. My […]

Turned out to be a man of his word, that is corrupt as fuck, which is just what one needs when it to comes to an insurance scam, particularly house insurance. I showed him around the house, ” You need to splash some water there, loosen a tile or two, put in a nice little coffee stain here” he said. Like anything in life you never know whether a plan will come to fruition or not. He mentioned a figure, a figure I found very pleasing, 12 grand. He wanted 10 percent as his cut. To make a long story short I got the whole […]

Some things just have to be confessed to the world. When I was in 4th class aged 9 there was an ongoing occurrence of someone deliberately missing the urinal and going all over the lavatory floor. This lavatory was adjacent to my classroom so the culprit could have only come from my class. The teacher, who was female so by nature even more gullible than 9 yr old boys came up with the following plan to catch the culprit. This grown woman, if I recall correctly about 35 and in no way fuckable although I do recall I would often stare at her big boobs […]

The doorbell rang, there were two what I deduced were religious crackpots with an angle standimg behimd the door. ” Cold isn’t it” said one of these crackpots. ” yeah, anyway, what do you want?” Said I. The religious nuts were a bit taken aback at my tone. Cliodhna from next door was gettimg into her car, ” Cliodhna, how are you getting on, alright?” Said I with a smile on my face, Cliodhna being easy on the eyes. I turned back to these religious nuts sans smile,they tried to hit me with their pitch ” We are discussing the troubles in the world at […]

I found out that all the negative cliches one hears are all true, the more negatative the more truer it is.  Regarding suicide you don’t go down without a fight but in the end you go down. My predecessors in suicide all said the same thing and I find myself saying it now – nothing works. I tried everything, therapy, anti – d’s, keeping busy, you name it and I tried it. You would want to be absolutely fucking desperate to reach out for help in the first place, reaching out by its very definition is commensurate to the level of distress one experiences, I […]

I like many things about tbis site, chirf amongst them being SP is whete thete os no story/problem that dare not speak iits name.

I found myself waiting in line at the confectionery section which also sold cigarettes which is what I was after. The girl who was of a high standard in my opinion a 9 possibly knocking on the door of a 9.5 was serving. Three customers were in front of me, she seemed quite confident until I came face to face with her, she blushed bright red and cast her eyes downwards, I noticed her hands were trembling. Like I said I would fear being a resident of a nursing home, time goes by in an instant and you never know what tomorrow could bring, the […]

There’s always a favourite. It could be argued with complete conviction that every guy has his favourite girl and every girl has her favourite guy. As of late I have had to go grocery shopping on an almost daily basis. During these hellish excursions I found my eyes wandering to a beauty who was always around when I just happemed to be walking by. To my delight I had noticed she could not tear her gaze from mine. Hitherto the oppurtunity to converse with her had not presented itself, that is until today.

One thing I would fear would being an old geriatric in a wheelchair […]

I got back to the underground carpark just in time, 2 hours free and should you go beyond 2 hours it was 20 euro, I drove up to the barrier with 5 minutes left. I was trying to swipe my ticket against the device and nothing was happening, I pressed the assistance button – no answer, I kept trying to swipe the ticket and the 2 hours had been exceeded. Eventually a voice, a voice of a wanker answered “Yes?”. ” Lift that barrier and I’ll be on my way” I said. “Im not lifting any barrier, you went beyond 2 hours, go up to […]

I got a lesson a while ago but for some reason I refused to learn from the lesson, so it was going to be another lesson until the message got through.

I entered a shopping centre from the third floor entrance, an A4 paper prescription in my back pocket. My mind was on other things (suicide) so I cannot claim I was careful enough. Just as I was walking into a pharmacy on the first floor I checked the back pocket and the prescription was missing. I fucking panicked, it had fallen out somewhere in the shopping centre. I knew instinctively that a story involving someone […]

I was in a Chinese takeaway last night carefully checking everything I ordered was in the bag, its all fun and games until you get home and and an item is missing, one has no choice but to check the bag there and then on the counter. Whilst I was meticulously checking the bag item by item a verbal bust -up emanated from the kitchen. ” Fuck you” said a voice from the kitchen, ” No, fuck you” said another voice from the kitchen. The kitchen door swung open and a delivery driver stormed out with what I deduced was the owner in hot pursuit. […]

Many moons ago in Mr.Walsh’s latin class  ” Settle down now, settle down, no horseplay, no tomfoolery, today in the pluperfect tense we shall be discussing the tragic story of Pyramus and Thisbe” said Mr Walsh. ” Pyramus and Thisbe communicated via a crack in the wall of their adjoining houses, their parents forbade a relationship and it ended in suicide”.  The word suicide caught my ear. Even then I could not shake suicidal thoughts.

Some years later I heard of a suicide pact. A guy and girl, both equally isolated, struggling, the usual circumstances that lead to a tragic conclusion. The girl had procured some […]

You can’t even pull in to the drive-thru in Mc’Donalds without a junky panhandling. I was one car behind where you place the order and out of nowhere a junky appeared. “Any change for a hostel mate?”  Said the junky. ” I wouldn’t give you the steam off my piss” I said. ” No need to be like that mate” said the junky.  I decided to call his bluff. ” I’ll tell you what I’ll do, I’ll get you a cheeseburger” I said. ” to tell you the truth mate, I could use a few quid instead” said the junky. I had to admire the […]

I called. I knew by the tone of voice that answered that the news was not good.  ” Hey man, he let me down, his missus got rushed to hospital, he had to mind the child, he’ll drop it off 2moro, definitely 2moro”. I don’t know what annoyed me more, the fact the weed was not there or the concomitant excuse.  ” Right, I’ll give you a shout tomorrow” I said.  This is what you will bump into repeatedly if you do not have the option of physically walking into a marijuana dispensary. Street marijuana can be obtained within minutes and has been interfered with. […]

I went on through to the Doctor’s surgery. A walk – in surgery, me in the capacity of a ‘new patient’, with a ficticious name etc. A very precarious situation, it was now 3pm so if anything went wrong  I was fucked. The Doctor was clad in this Covid style almost space suit looking outfit. Only her eyes and hair were visible. She flipped back her hair with both hands at my arrival so it looked favourable. ‘She’s a little attracted’ I thought to myself, so it stands to reason she will be prepared to prescribe in a liberal manner. I came out with several […]

I have/ had several uncles but two in particular served as a warning of what or what not to become. My Father’s side of the family being rooted in criminality. Criminality as a result of poverty, poverty of a Dickensian level. My Father managed to get out of that cycle early, he met my mother, became a homeowner and managed to do okay in life. Had he not met my mother, married a woman from the social class he grew up in, things would of been different. His brother, who I only met a few times struck me as a charismatic character, not someone you […]