I guess your supposed to reach road blocks in your life. I just didn’t know there would be this many.. I just.. I dont know what to do anymore. I am a rape victim. I was raped by someone I loved with all my heart. Since that day I have hated myself, and its only getting worse. I cant sleep without nightmares. I cant go out in public without the fear of seeing him. Many people ask if I ended up pregnant… Yes, I did. But my baby girl didnt make it. Every single day I get 6-8 flashbacks which cause me to break down […]
As I sit in a room by myself I cant help but think of what happened that night. Begging for you not to over and over again. but you insisted. I was scared all along but suddenly my fear became reality. I was trying not to scream  so your family wouldn’t wake up. It hurt. you knew it. I cried and cried laying there feeling like trashy. I still do. I feel gross and am still scared. I wish it didn’t happen, but it did.
tick tock tick tock.. the clock made it seem like life was passing so slowly. I sat there looking at myself in the mirror as the tears rolled down my face. Pill after pill I began to feel sleepy. I had the rope and knife next to me. I got sick over and over. the blood dripping down my sides never felt any better. As I fell asleep I was hoping I would never wake up again. but I did.
Everyone says love yourself but I can’t. I hate myself. I look in the mirror and I see ugly and horrible. I made a lot of mistakes in my life, but that one night went too far. I lost the person I really like and my friend you talked me into it but when i did it you got mad you knew i was drugged . I hate myself. It shouldn’t have happened. But it did. Now i look in the mirror and I see skin and bones and slashes through out my body. I hate myself. Everyone is right, I shouldn’t be here. I’m […]
That night…. we were all standing together, ya know hanging out. Everything was going good. You seemed depressed. I knew something was wrong. I sat with you and talked. not knowing minutes later you were going to be gone. You said you had to go to the bathroom, which I didn’t think much of so I said Okay. Time passed. I went up to to the top of that hill where I found you crying. You took it right to the heart, then jumped back down to where we were sitting. You were almost gone. The paramedics couldn’t get down to where we were so […]
To all the people out there with all this crap in their life, you HAVE to stay strong. You have to have HOPE. Things WILL get better. Â Find one thing you love, and make a promise to it that you will try and stay strong. H.O.P.E Hold On Pain Ends