I sit alone crying and afraid to be hurt in the next minute. Then, it hits me. No one likes me, no one helps me, NO ONE F***ING CARES NOR WANTS ME. WHY BOT JUST END IT! WHY WONT I DO IT! I WANT IT!
They treat you like crap in the real life, yet they act like they care on the internet. Why is this? Why do they stab you in the back to your face. They don’t see the cuts, they think I’m fine, they think it doesn’t hurt, they also believe I do not cut from excuses. No one thinks I’m a good liar, they don’t know how good of a liar I really am. I hide my cuts they don’t suspect. I plot to leave, but my uncle keeps me here by making me show a true smile. When he helps me they hurt him, I cry. He then comes out and hands me his silver tongue. I slide it across my arms, back, and ribs. I keep them hidden. I think if the note.
Uncle **** I love you so much, thank you for helping me. I’m sorry but reality sucks dick, you are the only part I cherish. Thank you fr staying with me at birth. I grew up in pain and you have eased it. Mother, sister, little brother, little sister…GO FUCK YOURSELVES!!YOU HATED ME AND I DIDNT TALK TO YOU, REFUSED TO SPEAK! Grandmother, grandfather, I love you as well but you and uncle **** weren’t enough to save me. I am sorry to put you through pain, I’m sorry for my mistakes, my potential I could have given this world wasted by truly unhumane people, remove by savages that feast on the sadness, depression, and hate of the ones that do not belong.
Uncle **** I loved you the most, my beautiful girlfriend if you have seen this know I love you as well. I love you as I do uncle **** you helped me. And as you know this wouldn’t be the first attempt, the others were with ropes this was a knife.
Now you all see what I’d write…
My best friend is a silver tongued devil, he made me an addict to him. I can’t seem to get away from him at all. He tells me to slide him across my skin when no one is around. I don’t know why it feels so good. I’m addicted…addicted to the release I get from it. I always have him and if I don’t I’m carrying a pencil.
I don’t understand why I’m treated like total crap, no one notices me ever. If I’m noticed they see me in a corner with my hood up. I sit silent not wanting to be beaten up again and again. I sit in my room every night begging for someone to talk too, but I don’t have anyone. Is it my fault I’m hated? Is it my fault people bully me? Is it my fault I’m a total mistake? Why am I still here if I’m rejected?