Author

searching4hope88

just a mind/body/soul complex living in this third dimensional world occupying this physical vehicle I was given. AKA a human female ?? LOVE and LIGHT

I’m scared.

by searching4hope88 3/10/2013

written by searching4hope88

This week has been hell. My mental state is near breakdown. He fucked with my head this week. Too long to discuss here and I would bore you all, but he genuinely fucked with my mind this week. Possibly the worst breakup story in history and my already fragile mind and soul was NOT ready to accept this. Getting over him will be hell, my heart is 500 times stronger than my mind right now and I just want to rip it out.

But what scares me the most, and this is probably going to sound stupid, is being single.
I haven’t been single for […]

3/10/2013 10 comments

I think I went insane.

by searching4hope88 3/8/2013

written by searching4hope88

He left me for a 16 year old. together for 5 years. been through everything imaginable. He asked if I would be okay dating him if he was with her too. He wants two girlfriends. says he can’t lose me but he’s going to pursue her. He even shows me the sweet texts they send each other.

I said I would be okay with it.
I would be the other girl. as long as he paid more attention to me.
It’s been two days and he hasn’t called or returned my texts. So I’m done now. I was not in the mental state to be […]

3/8/2013 6 comments

I lost him and he’s all I ever needed

by searching4hope88 12/23/2012

written by searching4hope88

he doesn’t want me anymore.. no one wants me.. I’m not kidding if I can’t have him no one will want me. he was the only one willing to accept my flaws in life.. to accept my physical flaws. in fact he loved them! he fucking loved them.. he loved me but I fucked him over. I didn’t even want to. and now because of that I chose to leave the only one who would accept me for who I was and actually find me attractive. I fucked myself so I guess I can’t complain. I couldn’t even get anyone else.. plus he was my […]

12/23/2012 4 comments

I don’t want to be here..

by searching4hope88 12/22/2012

written by searching4hope88

I left my abusive boyfriend/fiancee of 5 years earlier this month.. My parents practically kidnapped me and sent me out of state with realtives to get away from him.. but hes not a threat anymore.. He’s moved on.. told me the new girl he’s with is much better than I could ever hope to be 🙁 well good for them.. I still love him for some reason and that’s what really gets to me.. I know its truly a shame for her because once this happy stage wears off she’ll see his abusive side.. I’m just so hurt.

My parents want me to start my […]

12/22/2012 3 comments

I try to reach out but no one’s there. Don’t they understand?

by searching4hope88 12/21/2012

written by searching4hope88

I’m broken and alone. Told my whole life that I’m not worth anything. I know I’m worthless. Not good enough no matter what I do. But I’m so alone. I’ll never be whole.

I can’t be without you so how can I live?
You don’t love me anymore, so it’s my life i’ll give..

12/21/2012 6 comments