he doesn’t want me anymore.. no one wants me.. I’m not kidding if I can’t have him no one will want me. he was the only one willing to accept my flaws in life.. to accept my physical flaws. in fact he loved them! he fucking loved them.. he loved me but I fucked him over. I didn’t even want to. and now because of that I chose to leave the only one who would accept me for who I was and actually find me attractive. I fucked myself so I guess I can’t complain. I couldn’t even get anyone else.. plus he was my one and only soulmate… my everything. my baby bear.. my honey.. I’m killing myself because I have no other option in life. if I can’t have him than ill have hell. its not bad and don’t worry for me because where I am now and how strong and horribly painful my depression is now.. I’m already in hell. its just another level. it might even be better than this..
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4 comments
We all have flaws – and if he cannot forgive you for one mistake that’s his flaw, and his loss … but i can assure you, out of the other roughly 3.5 billion other men in the world – someone is going to find you attractive and accepting of you for who you are. I understand, no one is a huge fan of change, but more often than not, these types of changes work out better than we expect when we learn the lessons for our mistakes and go forward – give the rest of us a chance to get to know the beautiful person you are you might be surprised that one of us might actually be an upgrade
potential dawg
I can relate. I lost the only guy who’s ever EMBRACED the real me, who thought my biggest flaw only endeared me to him more… nice guys will accept the flaw (at least for a while), but not tell me “this makes me love you more” because it matches up so well with his own. There’s just… no going on after that. I can’t look at the “other fish in the sea” like everyone says to. And I’m not the type who can just settle for less, even if I deserve less. I want the real thing or nothing at all. So now there’s…nothing.
Wish I had some advice for you. *big hugs instead*
I cant stand people who desire perfection with themselves, tbere has not been nor ever be a perfect human. The flaws are the interesting part
I know how you feel… He decided my problems are too much for him to handle. I am trying so hard to change, to be the person I once was, the person he loved. I want to be the person because she was always able to get herself out of trouble and overcome everything. I got a panic attack today, they had stopped for months (Christmas just brings it all out), I can’t go back to living that way, I just cant. I can re-live those moments of crippling anxiety, anymore… I refuse to live like that, it was a never ending nightmare…
I hope you feel better and that you don’t need someone else to validate you.
Big hugs.