I’m just not sure right now.. I don’t know what to do.. I’m just playing my endless role of sitting in front of a computer screen melting my eyes, laying in bed at night and crying myself to sleep, melting my brain at school and giving into the fake delusions of my mind, giving in so bad that I talk to myself. My chest heaves in and rattles hard when I breathe, thats what they say. Breathe, but breathing makes you not cry. breathing makes you feel worse.
Why cant I stop crying….
I thought about ending it all today, I was certain to do it and I had everything in order.. I couldn’t bring myself to do it because the question “what next?” just punches my face over and over.. I didn’t do it because I’m scared, scared to kill myself, but it’s better then being alive in this terrible place.. Who am I now?
“wake up” no one says and she rises to a lonely cold morning, its only four and shes not tired.. she walks to the kitchen, feet padding softly on the white tile. The bright glow from the fridge lights up half of the small apartment and she sighs. “thanks for the dinner.” she muttered in pain, the girl hadn’t eaten in two days because everyone else got to the fridge first. after a burning hot shower she stood in front of the steamy mirror staring at her horrid reflection.. tan skin, almost boy short tangled hair and scars on her face.. the girls took her […]
I used to look up into the sky and smile because it was such a great blue day.. but as the years passed on and as friends began to leave.. I began to just hate the blue sky so much.. it made me so angry that there were no clouds.. or it was always blue.. I remembered that it made me so mad I never looked at the sky ever.. One day.. I looked up and everything was white. the cement, the sky, the clouds, and the dying grass. I never looked up and began to resent what I so much loved. I never had […]
Please log in to report posts