I removed the block. It doesn’t fucking change anything! It doesn’t make you care and it doesn’t make me care.
But I always care too fucking much, that what got me in this mass called my life in the first place, right? Caring made me love you, caring made me everyones punching bag, caring made me think life just isn’t worth living.
But why should I care if you cry? So what if you cried because of me? So what if you care about me and don’t want me dead?! I don’t fucking care! Not anymore. Not as I used to. And you know it, I told you that I don’t care as much as I used to anymore. Because I’m tired of being hurt. I’m tired of being a punching bag and I’m tired of using you as my punching bag. But most of all, I’m tired of life. Tired of being pushed, thrown, falling to the ground with no one to pick me up. Tired of everything.
I am not going to start this conversetion with you. Why? Because I’m scared. I’m scared of talking to you, scared to find out that you’re mad at me, hate me, whatever. Scared that you’re sick of me and tired of being hurt by me. I’m just scared to know that you cried! Scared of everything. And this time everything really does mean everything, every single thing this world has to offer, I’m simply scared of it all.
Leave me alone. But before, just give me this one hug I’ve been waiting forever to recieve from you.