Author

Shigari

Sudden Clarity

by Shigari 11/20/2016

written by Shigari

I got high today. It was not one of those pleasurable highs, nor was it one of those superbad one. It just made me feel like committing suicide again.

Three years ago, I was on the verge of suicide. I had hit a block in terms of the pressure of school of life and of goddamn love. It was so weird in that I thought life would never get better, that it would be a drag to continue. However, I did continue. It involved a lot of pain but I got to where I am.

Now, I feel that a pair of mist covered sunglasses have been removed […]

11/20/2016 0 comment

Living a curse

by Shigari 2/4/2015

written by Shigari

I went on a trip last week. It was really fun-the sites, the trains, the plane, the hikes and so much more were all unique experiences. I guess it was a taste of freedom. Yet as always, when I returned, my life was still here. I got my exam results which were published during the trip. All the hard work, all the pain, all the anguish.. Meant nothing. I am nothing. I thought that really focusing and working hard would help me… But it didn’t work!!

It let me taste heaven if just for an instant before plunging me back to hell. This […]

2/4/2015 2 comments

Losing the flow

by Shigari 7/21/2013

written by Shigari

Why?

Why can’t I face my problems?

Why must I always hide?

Why must I always lose trac of my effort? dammit why?

No matter what it is, no matter what I do, no matter what I was thinking barely seconds before, why must I always deviate from what I’m doing???

Whether studies, sports or whatever the hell I actually do nowadays, I just don’t seem to care, I just let myself surf the flow of the waves of thought instead of maintaining my course.

And, when I realise it, its always too late, relationships always destroyed, failing grades, competitions lost.

Every-fucking-one of my teachers or guardians or bosses are angry at […]

7/21/2013 3 comments

A letter to her

by Shigari 4/24/2013

written by Shigari

Hi SP. I typed out this letter to vent out everything with regards to a certain girl that I once, or rather still love. The names and certain facts have been removed, so that no other person can recognise me or her.

_____

Dear _____,

I remember the promise that we made to each other:We will never lie or say sorry to each other for we are friends.

I am afraid that I will have to break both parts of the promise: I am sorry because I lied.

I lied to you about being over the depressed period of my life, I lied to you that I do origami regularly,I […]

4/24/2013 0 comment

Paradox of Friendship

by Shigari 4/23/2013

written by Shigari

Hi, SP, this is my first post here.

I wish to share my story. I know that many more people have it worse than me. I know that for most, my reasons seem to be selfish. I know that for most my reasons are not significant enough to give up upon. But, the paradox I can’t escape has led me to try to escape, to pray to never wake, and even to attempt to remove myself from this plane many a times. Here is my story.

If one were to look at me about 3 years ago I would be the genius, the prodigy of an affluent […]

4/23/2013 6 comments