Author

sleeplessinSTL

Why can’t she see?

by sleeplessinSTL 3/19/2013

written by sleeplessinSTL

Why can’t she see that I’m not alright?

Why can’t she see that I need her?

Why can’t she see that I hate myself?

Why can’t she see how I feel about her?

More importantly, why do I have to feel this way about her?

Why do I have to love her?

Do you know how often I hear people talk bad about gays, lesbian, and bisexuals? I listen to people go on about how it’s “Immoral” or “wrong” and I just have to sit there, clenching my fists, wanting to punch them all in the face. Because if they knew. If they really knew, then I would never be accepted. […]

3/19/2013 1 comment

She’s dead

by sleeplessinSTL 3/18/2013

written by sleeplessinSTL

I can’t believe it.

She’s gonna die. She hasn’t died yet, but she’s on the brink.

My BEST FRIEND who has cancer is going to be gone forever. I just don’t know what to do! I can’t help her because I’m not magical, but I can’t help feeling that I’m supposed to do something. Seriously, I’m just lost.

She has an overall positive attitude about it, on the outside. But if you have a best friend, you can tell when they are actually fine and when they are scared shitless. She is scared shitless, and who can blame her?

She has less than a year to live. What am […]

3/18/2013 5 comments

Im not a ray of sunshine

by sleeplessinSTL 3/17/2013

written by sleeplessinSTL

By any means, I am not a ray of sunshine. I can’t help it. I’m only a teenager and I’ve basicly given up on life. I have no hopes for the future.

I used to want to be a journalist. I wanted to move back to Ireland and write about everything and anything. I wanted to get married and have a kid or two. I just wanted something out of life, but now I feel nothing. I feel numb. I just don’t know what I actually want. I had plans to do marvelous things with my best friends. But now, since one’s dead and the other […]

3/17/2013 3 comments

“Best” Friend

by sleeplessinSTL 2/3/2013

written by sleeplessinSTL

You’re supposed to protect your best friend, right?

Make them feel better.

Help them get through the bad times.

But it can be pretty fucking hard to do sometimes.

At least, that’s whatÂ I tell myself. Im just absolutely ashamed of myself.

My best friend is dead.

I was supposed to protect him. Why couldnt I?!?!

They say God only gives you what he expects you can handle, but how am I supposed to deal with this? One of my best friends has cancer, and the other one is dead! God expects a fucking ton from me.

How could I let this happen? I let my friend slip through my fingers. He’s gone. and […]

2/3/2013 2 comments

Why I like this Website

by sleeplessinSTL 2/2/2013

written by sleeplessinSTL

This website, though I havent been on for an extremely long time, has seriously made my days a bit brighter.

It’s just nice to have some people who kind of understand what I’m going through. kind of.

But still, it feels exremely good to share my feelings with people who wont judge. I wont be called an attention seeker, wont get judged, and will be talking to people who will actually listen.

To be honest, I started this because I was basicly forced to. My therapist, who has become a very good friend of mine even though I’m a teenager, said it might be good to talk out […]

2/2/2013 1 comment

Miami…. really? is it THAT great?

by sleeplessinSTL 2/1/2013

written by sleeplessinSTL

Im excited.

No, really I am.

I’m going to Miami in a couple of days. It’s for my dad’s work and my cousins wedding. I’m going to see me family. im going to get out of this cold weather. Im going to see my cousin have the best day of her life.

Buuut, I’m also going to have to wear a swimsuit.

And, see my grandmas face fall when I walk in.

She doesnt like me that much. I’ve heard her say so. She doesnt approve of my “lifestyle”. She says Im a slutty, skater, who has no self control. I’m also a mess, bad example, and a future druggie.

Thanks […]

2/1/2013 2 comments

You WANT insomnia

by sleeplessinSTL 2/1/2013

written by sleeplessinSTL

Okay, so I was on Yahoo! answers or whatever thats called, and this girl’s question was “How can I become an Insomniac?”

What. The. Hell. Is. the. matter. with. you?

She said she wanted to be an insomniac because she doesnt like sleep and she never sleeps.

Okay, you moron, Ima tell you what I know about sleep and insomnia: (some are personal experiences)

1.Sleep deprivation cam KILL you.

2. Insomnia is HORRIBLE.

3. you are a moron

4. People with insomnia are tired as hell, but can’t fall asleep

5. without sleep, you can begin to halucinate and have suicidal thoughts.

6. a lot of other boring facts that no one cares about.

BOTTOM […]

2/1/2013 9 comments

Just… One more day.

by sleeplessinSTL 1/29/2013

written by sleeplessinSTL

So, Im new on here and I’m not sure how to start this, but i guess ill just get to it.

My Life is like a Lifetime movie.

The reason I started cutting was because of my friend, Andrew. He was literally my bestfriend…. and I kinda had a crush on him. I knew that he had problems in his life, but dont we all? Yeah, I feel like a total ***** now.

Anyways, his family life was worse than I knew. I found this out when I walked to his house. I knew his parents weren’t home(they never were) because his dad wasÂ a jackass who, for all […]

1/29/2013 3 comments

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