By any means, I am not a ray of sunshine. I can’t help it. I’m only a teenager and I’ve basicly given up on life. I have no hopes for the future.
I used to want to be a journalist. I wanted to move back to Ireland and write about everything and anything. I wanted to get married and have a kid or two. I just wanted something out of life, but now I feel nothing. I feel numb. I just don’t know what I actually want. I had plans to do marvelous things with my best friends. But now, since one’s dead and the other dying, they’ve turned to rubbish. The rest of my friends are basicly done with me, though I’m not sure what I’ve done.
Recently, I read a book that described my life perfectly. It said:
“The world was so full of colour. Brilliant reds, deep blues, and the like filled the earth. It was magical, but as my life was strung out, they changed. They changed into the colours that swallow you up. My world is now grey and black. There is no light, and no life. Where has everyone gone? Why can’t I see past my arm’s length? Why had God condemned me to such hell as this?”
The book is really brilliant. It’s so relatable. Recently I’ve been thinking that since I don’t sleep, I might as well do something useful with my time. So, I’m finally starting to write again. I made an account on a website called wattpad. Follow me at cokeandunicorns if you have one. I don’t know, but I think it might help me get my dream back.
But who knows? I certainly don’t.
I’m no ray of sunshine.
3 comments
Man! Do I know how you feel (at least I think I do).
I’ve been depressed since I can remember (I started noticing when I was 9), take this advice it might help.
Have you ever heard the statement “You make your own reality” or “Life is just a dream”, basically just make your own life and accomplish what you want. Sadly, being depressed will eat you up and before you know it, all you can remember are sad memories, replace them with happy ones! I’m 17 now and I’m still struggling, all the bad memories, eat me up sometimes. You are the creator of your world! Make your world colorful and bright, so this one doesn’t doesn’t seem so bad. Lastly, when you struggle or sadness takes over, it means you’re fighting for something, do not let depression take that away from you.
Do what makes you happy! Even if it’s minimal.
If you don’t mid, what is the name of the book you’re reading?
Insomnia can really mess with your health and the way you feel.
@Peradox Sorry it took me so long to reply. The book the quote is from is a book on the website Wattpad. It’s called What is Behind Us. The person might have deleted it by now but you can log on and see if you want to.
Thanks for the Feedback 🙂