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im a dissapointment im a dissapointment im a dissapointment im a dissapointment.

this might come off as stupid and such “oh first world problems whatever” butfirst context. my family celebrate everything. they celebrated when i camr back from a 3 day school trip. we celebrate mothers and fathers day for the US days AND the UK days and even more other stuff.

my entire life my parents would say get good A-Level grades and get into oxford or imperial or whateverand well take a family trip to dubai and all this stuff. and i was really excited for uni and all bc i had my whole life […]

i know ive dissapointed everyone but why is everyone else caring about it more than i am.

theres no point of being optimistic anymore so i dont know why i ever am. i do this to myself. i cause my own pain.

what am i without it, i have nothing left to give. ive ruined my own life and now i dont see a point in continuing.

ive never been diagnosed with anything but im pretty sure im like some type of sociopath or anxiety or some type of crazy bc im too unstable to be normal

this is going to sound really melodromatic but after thinking about what ive been thinking about

i think that i dont think i should be loved

i dont deserve people to care about me

most people i know are muslim and even then im a bad muslim too

i dont deserve people to care about me, i dont deserve to be religious, i dont deserve to be anything except on my own

i work hard and there are people who look up to me and i make it seem like my life is so easy and im happy and you know, one of them people who seem like nothing could […]

being close to someone really is a weakness

im a bad person
im a bad person
im a bad person
im a bad person

i wish i had a person who knew nothing about me at all, but someone i could tell even my darkest secrets to just so i can get it out. someone who i will bever have to see in real life but be able to tell them every darkest detail because i hate not being able to tell people anything

I havent logged on in a very very very long time. i suddenly get flashbacks from before and i think about how long of a way ive come. sometimes i want to feel like that again, when my life starts getting harder again.

im here to just say that, my mindset has changed. when im sad, i let myself feel that way. and i grow from that. i know this might just be cliche and all, but it took me years to finally have this mindset. and something ive realised is, no matter how many people give you advice or tell u to stop hurting […]

ive cut myself on and off ever since i was like 12 and i havent for a really long time now but recently i keep rhinking about it, even when im not feeling overwhelmed or anything. it just comes to mind and i feel like i need to do it. i know i need someone to talk to about it but i dont want to talk to the people that already know

This isnt anything much but I really need someone i can talk to more often when im not feeling good, but even someone i just wanna talk to so if theres anyone who wants to i guess be friends let me know in the comments 🙂

btw im 17 so anyone between 16 and 19 is okay : )

you know i dont try to look sad when i am but there is this one guy who knows when i am and its wierd because no one else can ever tell. not my friends or my boyfriend and they never ask.

but this guy asks like he knows something is up and i mean hes right, because when he asks i am genuienly not feeling great but its just wierd.

people who say fake it till you make it have never actually experienced that feeling of not being heard or being unimportant in a group of people. what do u mean act confident unril you feel it?
I feel confident, its not like i try to be quiet. but i guess i just have those vocies that are easily ignored. I can be as confident as I can be but i still get ignored, even when im being loud ive just got those vocies that wash into the background noise.

so fake it till you make it doesnt work.

i feel like im a sad and depressed person trying to tell herself that shes happy
my mind is always i wanna die i wanna die but i know i shouldnt listen but sometimes i just wanna fall back into the hole because staying out of it is so hard