Author

Dylan

I very disturbed teenager, I go through phases of severe depression and even sometimes phases of great happiness. It is all very confusing, I am suicidal but haven't made any attempts yet. I do like to talk to others who are going through depression, so if you would like to talk just email me at Arcanoside@aim.com. I can either tell you about my experiences, or listen to your stories. I can just listen to you if you just need someone to listen to, I don't judge others who go through depression, neither do I try to understand, I just try to be there for that person.

School is my bane

by Dylan 8/27/2012

written by Dylan

During the summer my depression was able to chill out a bit, but now that school is about to start for me I am starting to really worry that it will come back full force… I have no friends at my school as I am anti-social and have social anxiety, a few people have tried to become friends with me but those are only really immature kids, or it could just be me rejecting people for some reason that I can’t explain.

I’m a complete mess and its really embarrassing, I’m always tripping over my own feet, or on the stairs, or I say stupid things […]

8/27/2012 5 comments

Is suicide selfish?

by Dylan 8/20/2012

written by Dylan

Before I became depressed I would have answered this question with a for sure “yes” and now that I have been depressed for as long as I have I feel that it is the least selfish thing a depressed person can do.Â Many people (Mainly those who haven’t been suicidal) would say it is very selfish because of the pain you will be causing to those who loved you… So they are basically saying “just so you don’t cause pain to others you should bare the pain and suffering of your life, live without happiness and joy just so others can stay happy” In my […]

8/20/2012 8 comments

Ready For The End

by Dylan 7/24/2012

written by Dylan

For awhile now I’ve been “Ready to die” so to speak… I haven’t been able to think of a full proof way to end it yet but my mind is constantly thinking of new options, none of which will actually work. I have 2 in mind, but they are both extremely difficult to achieve, and 1 of them doesn’t have a very high probability of success.

I don’t think my depression is curable and ending it would be a permanent solution to a permanent problem. I can’t suffer the humiliation, shame, regret, loneliness, pain, and sadness any longer. I feel as if my very existence is […]

7/24/2012 1 comment

Depressed & Suicidal

by Dylan 7/2/2012

written by Dylan

I am 17 years old and have been depressed for a few years now, suicidal for about a year at least… I keep reading things online about how depression is only going to get better, but in my case it keeps getting worse. My health continues to spiral downwards and make me feel like a complete invalid.

A few months ago I believe I posted another story here regarding the reasoning’s behind my depression and since then it has become much worse. The thought of suicide has become an idea that is able to make me feel at peace.

My whole life has been a battlefield between […]

7/2/2012 3 comments

My story

by Dylan 5/25/2012

written by Dylan

They say Suicide is a permanent solution to a short term thing, or something like that. I beg to differ, I’ve been pretty depressed for, at least a few years now… I have lost track. Days, weeks, damn… Even years just kind of come together. I have some serious health stuff that can’t actually be fixed, I learned the cold truth, and that is as the years continue and I grow older I will only get worse. I’ll just say it, I have many problems with my spine due to a surgery I had to remove some tumors, and the only way they can fix […]

5/25/2012 0 comment