This Sunday is gonna be it. I can’t keep waking up in a panic and acting out of control.
I’ll be trying the exit bag with helium.
Failing that, well, I am buying a bunch of scalpels. Maybe I can just land on them? I’d have to rig them to stand up, and I’d have to land with my neck outstretched. Sounds like a big botch job waiting to happen. I don’t think I can actually handle the pain of slitting my own throat, even with some Orajel rubbed on the skin.
… and I felt elated. I felt like maybe we had a chance, maybe I had a chance to get out of this hell that is bipolar and somehow make it work. I felt like my old self. I actually laughed. A two week anger/mania streak just lifted. But I have to remember all that I went through, and put him through for weeks. Funny how bipolar makes you focus on the current thing and feel like it was forever. but I know that time-wise, I have been miserable or way more than I have been happy. It does not add up. I know the […]