The harder I try to find a reason to live the more the world spits in my face…
Last night I had a nightmare.
When I woke up, I was relieved at first. My heart had been racing, and I started to calm down.
Then I “woke up” again and remembered what my real life is like right now – worse than what was happening in the nightmare.
When your nightmares are better than your real life…how do you deal?
I’m losing everything.
But even if they understood, it wouldn’t make a difference. The damage is done.
They want to know what’s wrong. When I tell them, they don’t get it.
They offer concern, but it is really just curiosity and discomfort. I don’t know how to fake it.
Six months ago – In August 2014, I was perhaps happier than I’ve ever been and fulfilling a number of long-held dreams. I’m 45 years old and have a beautiful wife and daughter. I had been through some tough times before – nothing major – made some sacrifices and got through by focussing on the future. I was in the process of completing some big changes in my life that I had worked long and hard for.
Unexpectedly, a perfect storm of mostly random events and coincidences triggered a tidal wave of panic in me. Before I realized what was happening, I threw away a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that […]