Its been a year since my first suicide attempt. Nothing has changed. I took 100 sleeping pills. Ended up in the hospital for four days, than was sent to inpatient mental ward for another four days. I wish i could say things have gotten better but, nope. I am just building up my courage to not fail again. This time i will have a very well thought out plan. I am ready to go. I dont want to cause a big mess for everyone to clean up. I would just like to slip away.