I feel like I’m just full of hot air, everytime I get to the bottom of the bottom I can’t seem to end it. I tell myself alright you ***** you tried once and failed but you know what they say try and try again. I believe that maybe there is something keeping me here but lately its getting harder to believe myself.
My mom has just been giving me this look of utter pity as if I was just a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. As if at any moment I’ll try again. I love her to death and I know she is only worried for me but I can’t stand for her to do this to me. Her looks kill me more each day knowing I caused so much harm to her. What hurts me the most is that things won’t be the same anymore and its all my fault..
After my attempt a couple days ago I told my mom and she told me with tears down her eyes that it was selfish. That how can I do that to her. I have not once seen my mom who i love break down before so I sucked all my emotions in and with a straight face told her I would not try ever again. But I know its a promise I can’t keep. Distractions have been coming up I recently got into a relationship but I know I’m not ready for that I’m not stable but I just need something anything that will help […]
I am where you are right now and have tried too end it and probably won’t stop trying but just remember that there are others like you. You are not alone, I’m not going too tell you that you are going too get better and that life will be fine. It never gets better and probably never will. Just remember that you are not alone and maybe just maybe you can do what I can’t and take solace in the fact that you are just a single person but you have an army of people just like you behind you.
I was so careful with the measurements. Yet I still woke up this morning only to a hell of a stomach ache and spewing everywhere. I thought for sure I would be done peace at last, no pressures too tug at me all day long. Just bliss and as I sat there knowing full well what I had done I grew with joy. I hugged my mom and my sister hell I even talked about cars with my step dad who I loathe. In those moments I was happy only too wake up the next day knowing my curse is still not over. Like […]
Is it selfish to want the agony of what you feel everyday too stop
Is it selfish too want peace and rest in a world that has greedily taken everything you have ever wanted
We are not selfish we don’t want to leave our loved ones, but every day I see no end too the pain,the suffering,the hopelessness.
We are not selfish, we are the victims of the cancer people call life. And as the days go by I die both physically and emotionally. Until one day I know I will break.