I started online school this year back in sectmber. I dident notice then but slowly my friends started to dissaper. Now, only 1 of my former friends will talk to me, all the rest pretty much ignore me.  I started feeling sadder in october, and spent more time alone. Now I spend 95% of the day in my room, the rest of the day is spent at school taking band art and chorus. in december I was diagnosed with dyslexia, and I felt that I was an idiot. I was never an A student,  but now i just break down whenever i see me test scores, or overall […]
I don’t even think people honestly care enough about me to read, but here I go..
I’m still getting worse. I feel like it’s going to be worse than last time. Last time I was threatened with the hospital This time I might be forced to go. Everything is going downhill. Frank’s back. Doesn’t speak though. He only watches now. When I’m outside it’s terrible. I feel like someones there with a gun or a knife, coming to kill me, but every time I turn, no ones there. It seems now, that there is a person there, just waiting, following me around.Invisible. Waiting for the right time,right place. Each day is worse […]
I’m alone. Sad, tired of trying, of living. Tired of waking  up to a bright happy world, and seeing nothing except grey, and things only I can see, hearing sounds of joy, but only hearing the voices of my despair. Franks gone now. Replaced, forgotten. Austins here. He’s just as bad. Eyes are staring, watching with a pointed loaded gun,  or a knife waiting for the right time. I am forgotten, none cares for the sake of me, waiting for the right time. 17. The magic number. 15, countdown. They say if I die, I’ll be back in my world, back in Hallaqu, with Austin, and Goob, Frank, and 200. My […]
I never thought it would come to this. Feeling sad and alone, sitting here looking at what I have done, and all that I know I will do. I think about suicide every day. I just look around and think ” If I jumped off that building, I would probably die.” Or ” If I open the car door and jump, I’ll be roadkill.” It’s constant. I have scars. I have tears. But most people around here don’t really understand. If I told my parents they would freak out. If I committed suicide then my siblings, they might blame themselves.  I’m at a dead end road, […]