im so anti social that im pretty sure the only person that knows my name is the old lady that always scolds me for buying cigarettes. My boss hates me so he has loaded with me so much work that i cant possibly do it all, so once again ill fail, and he will have an excuse to get rid of me. I have had writers block for months now, i dont even feel like i deserve my username of a poet. I’d like to keep cutting but i cant stand to watch myself bleed. How do other adults handle all this shit. Fuck im […]
fuck you all, fuck this shit. Invite me to a party just to humiliate me and make fun of me. They told me to go kill myself, so fuck it why not! im not even depressed anymore just tired of this shit. Maybe ill just cut and we will see what happens
I die inside so you can smile
I limp to my room so you can run a mile
I wear rags so you can have style
I cry inside so you can play outside in the leaf pile
I can break this family with one phrase
I could end their naive daze
Mom won’t think its just a phase
and it wont just be my heart set ablaze
But quiet ill stay for the sake of them all
I can take the pain no matter how big or small
I can “Trip” down the stairs and fall
I can get hit in the face with a “Soccer ball”
I live in hell so you can live care […]
We are the future of us all
we are the generation who is destined to fall
we are the present’s invokable call
we can’t be heard through the last generations wall
we destroy ourselves without remorse
we set sail on an unchangeable course
our parents have made us who we are
they have locked us up behind concrete and bar
suicide and drugs seem our only escape
we all go out with chalk lines and yellow tape
all victims of depression and anger
some are popular some the more stranger
we all grow up whether we want to or not
because […]
last night in a desperate attempt at grasping what was left of my sanity i wrote another poem. I have not written in weeks which i find rather ironic because my screen name is the faceless poet. Last night in my desperation i came to an abrupt realization… No one gives a damn. I could write all the poems in the world and my status in life still will not change. Sure it is a way to vent, but maybe just for one day out of the rest of my life i would rather be content with the outcome of my day rather than having […]
mirror, mirror, my only friend
you listen, but no hand can you lend
you see me for the man i can be
but then i remember my only friend is me
it is lonely no matter the place
The people are the same no matter the base
I feel like a junker in a nascar race
like a clay pot next to a porcelain vase
so mirror mirror tell me something new
but you can’t which is why this pain will ensue
sure you’re always there by my side
but every time you smiled, you lied
time to face that my only friend isnt real
it has no emotions it can not feel
so ill see you every day […]
well just got out of my two week stay at the suicide part of the hospital, i feel even worse than before. I go through all this shame of being suicidal and all the dirty looks of the staff members when i dealt with them. Being suicidal sucks, i failed ten times before and the eleventh i think ive got it made but my mom found me too early and i lived then spent the next few weeks in a mental institution. God wont let me die and its fucking cruel!
i dont even know what to say anymore. the slightest word to describe how i feel escapes my brain. ive now failed at killing myself 10 times. Im like the helen keller of suicide. if we’re all born to die and we all die to live than whats the point of living since they both contradict. so ya some would call me a suicide survivor i just call myself a failure and suicide just happens to be one of the things i fail at
This will 100% be my last post on here at 12 tnite i will finally pull the trigger. this site has been so helpful in making it this long. i just wanted to use this to say my last goodbye. dont mourn the dead… mourn the living
a man lying near all bloody and red
i think to myself if hes lucky hes dead
his body is gone there is nothing to say
so i pick up my gun and start walking away
the tears build up as i go on
im praying to god i last till dawn
praying to god i see the next day
so i pick up my gun and start running away
the bombs were exploding all around
but the worlds quiet now i cant hear a sound
the flowers on my grave remind me of may
so i lay in my grave and start fading away
Ive come to the inevitable conclusion and no matter how much i would like to dance around the subject i am just not strong enough to do anything on my own. I have asked for help almost every day of my entire life and have been shot down every day. Even God seems to dangle hope in my face. Makes everything almost achievable but then takes it away. I know im quoting a super hero movie but i think Bane got it right. There can be no true despair without hope. I’ve always had my ways out but never strong enough to take them. I […]
Where does everything fit in place, im just starting to lose faith. The present sucks and the hope i hold for the future is slowly slipping away. How can i sit here and pretend like everything is going to get better. This life sucks ass, and i guess i cant complain because im too much of a ***** to pull the trigger. Still I cant help but want more from this horribly bleak life. To find the rainbow in the storm. It made me laugh to see the category suicide survivor, are there really any survivors or just people that never really wanted to die […]
Ive come to the stunning conclusion that no one would miss me if i actually did it. I dont even think i would miss myself. I drink because i hate myself and i hate myself because i drink. Im just a kid, i dont know why im depressed and unhappy i just am. Im always waiting for that thing that makes me feel complete and happy. no one but like 2 teachers and 3 kids know my name, shit they left me out of the yearbook last year. My parents dont care, dads to drunk to notice and mom is to high to even walk. […]
hey mom, hey dad
dont look so sad
its not too bad
in fact its more than ive ever had
hey bullet meet gun
im not their son
i just cant run
but its still more than ive ever done
hey bullet meet brain
i went insane
i can’t feel the pain
and love was still my final bane
hey blood meet floor
mom shut the door
i am no more
im free to soar
Im not just a kid, im a kid whose been torn
a kid who no one has ever come to mourn
who has been cursed since the day he was born
To people his life was not a rose but rather a thorn
Im not just a kid, im a kid whose been broken
A kid whose always been outspoken
im not just a kid, im kid who has scars
a kids whose spent his whole life behind figurative bars
im not just a kid, im a kid who never had dreams
a kid who never dreamed of heroes and laser beams
a kid from which happiness would not gleam
a kid who was a target […]
How do you guys cope with a break up bc i dont know how. the girl ive been dating for 3 years and my former fiance broke up with me because she has been cheating on me… needless to say every shred of confidence i have is thrown out the window. Here i was thinking life is getting better, youve got a job and the girl of your dreams, but the girl of my dreams turned my life into a nightmare. idk why she cheated but i feel like im the one to blame, like maybe if i had done something  differently, if i didnt […]
all alone in this battle for my sanity
picked on by people with too much vanity
holding myself together is my greatest test
but i can’t take it anymore i need rest
im tired from this fight
im tired from this battle that has no end in sight
im tired of wondering when i’ll be free
im tired of hoping people dont see me
Im starting to believe every word they say
im trying to remember how to live day by day
So i put on a smile and walk away
and then i go home and die and decay
Im more depressed than words can explain
this misery hits me like a freight train
but all I wish is to feel anything even pain
id like to feel something simple, even a drop of rain
I cant feel anything now, nothing at all
time is gone, no spring, no fall
now I can see more scars than skin
my heart is now metal made of tin
so what is going on in my head
this yearning desire to be dead
this yearning desire to fill my head with lead
this yearning desire to never leave my bed
so what to […]
if i started posting my poetry on here would anyone really wanna read it?
For some reason when i joined this blog or project whatever it is i was expecting something more, like i would feel better after posting, but the more i read others posts i just feel worse because i read everyone elses stories and just feel like a complete douche because im not going through half the shit they are. I had this crazy thought that someone was just gonna comment on my stuff with rush of support but thats not what this for. its just the way for the unheard to be heard, after all no one understands suicidal people better than suicidal people,
I think […]
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