I’m so finished. I hate everything here. I hate living. I hate the people. I know this shit is supposed to get better, and it’s hormones or whatever but I can’t do it. I’m trying to so hard, but I can’t. I’m in a battle and I’m losing. Everything hurts and I don’t know why. I don’t even know where to begin to fix it. Nothing’s changing. The person that I talked to about this is so fed up with me. I can’t. I cannot talk to anyone. No one wants to hear it. I hurt people and I need to stop. I know there are more people than I could ever dream of that are going through the same thing, but that doesn’t make it any easier. Is it supposed to? I can identify with these people, but it doesn’t help me or them feel any better I don’t think. I don’t even want to talk to anyone anymore I don’t think. Sometimes I just need to yell, but I can’t. I can’t talk to people, so I push it down. This won’t kill me because I’m already dead. There used to be problems that I could identify with this, but now, it’s everything. I literally cannot name one thing I like about myself. I’m a fat, ugly *****. I try so hard to make people happy. To change things I do for them. But I can’t do it anymore. I feel like I’m changing everything because different people have problems with everything that I do. I feel like I’m living this shitty fucked life for everyone around me and it’s hard. I don’t want to hear that it’s going to be okay, because it’s not. For now I’m going to try, really hard. But how long can one take this?
2 comments
I am sorry you are going through this. I understand you thought. My bestfriend/ex was all I had. He knew everything about my depression and how I felt. He recently got fed up with it, now I have no one. If you need someone to talk to, I am here. Really, I am. So whats going on with you?
If you’re reading this and contemplating or going through a rough time you can contact me at 0457111@gmail.com. I’m not going to persuade or force you to do anything, I’m only going to listen. Because I know that’s what the majority in your situation needs. Whoever you are, wherever you come from, how you look and what you did doesn’t matter. I’ll talk to anyone, anonymously. I’ll be your friend if you need one.
Send me an email directly or just reply to this comment and I’ll get notified.
– 0457111