I want to swallow all my pills. I am unsure about wanting to die. But this exsistence seems meaningless. And lonely. I want all the things im supposed to hate. Alcohol. Cigarettes. My bulimia. Sex eith strangers. I want all of it to help ease my sadness, my lonely, my anxiety and insecurity. I feel so desperate and lonely. Why am i all alone.
I feel like a half person. I feel totally incomplete and fake. I am living life, waiting for the next day, waiting for happiness. I feel so fake. I am at a job that hasnt really started yet, all we’re doing is training. And i feel like everyone there feels things, has energy. I want that. And im in a relationship where i feel selfish because im not sure i actually want him, i think maybe i just want a person to listen to me or to talk to. Im in love with my buddy who i hook up with sometimes and who loves me […]
I’m new here..
I need to spill how i feel: alone. I recently graduated from uni and moved back to LA with my parents. Ive realized that i have no friends. And the few people i believed were my friends dont seem to want to see me. 6 months ago my bf of 6 years broke up with me. Its been so hard to deal with. I guess its better since i was always dragging him down with my sadness. My eating disorder (bulimia) is worse than ever. Ive been this way 7 years. I have been trying to get treatment but the treatment centers are […]