Author

This_iz_me

Suicide is selfish?

by This_iz_me 2/22/2015

written by This_iz_me

Hello everyone. It’s been awhile since I have logged on. I been dealing with the depression on my own. I have had good and bad days. I tired to talk to a counselor at school about my suicidal thinking, but I was put on a waiting list. I have to wait a whole month before someone will even talk to me. By then I could have killed myself… Just saying.

I have tried praying…

well, now I am here.

what are your thought? Do you think suicide is a selfish way to go? Have you ever heard someone tell you that? People tell me that it’s selfish? But how […]

2/22/2015 13 comments

Me vs. Me

by This_iz_me 9/14/2014

written by This_iz_me

I found it so hard to get out if bed this morning. I used to consider myself a Christian. So I prayed last night. Because I feel like I am fighting myself. Too many times I am fighting the urge to cut again or to pop pills. I feel like if anyone can help, the big man upstairs can because if he doesn’t I won’t be here much longer. I am constantly trying to stay strong, but I am not sure how long I can hang on. Honestly, any night could be the night.

9/14/2014 12 comments

Checkin in…

by This_iz_me 9/13/2014

written by This_iz_me

When I feel like I can’t make it, coming here makes my day a lil easier. Just having a place where I feel like I can talk openly about situation really helps. I thanks everyone for listening and talking with me. I may still feel suicidal or like I am getting close to the edge, but at least here I am not looked down because of it…

9/13/2014 12 comments

FML

by This_iz_me 9/11/2014

written by This_iz_me

This is one of those nights where I feel like ish won’t go right…. I tried to keep telling myself things could be worse. But in reality … If it got any worse I just wouldn’t be able to make it…. Tonight I just wanna cry… But the tears don’t mean anything… Because no one cares… I don’t even care anymore… #FML

9/11/2014 4 comments

Simone Battle…

by This_iz_me 9/8/2014

written by This_iz_me

Although I didn’t know her, she is the second person in the media to commit suicide recently. She was a singer and Robin Williams also passed away recently.
Most of us try to commit suicide, think about it or know someone who does but it always sad to see someone go…
Some of this could be prevented if only someone would care enough and help one another along the way….
At least for me, I know if someone have me a hug every now and then, […]

9/8/2014 10 comments

When the music stops

by This_iz_me 9/7/2014

written by This_iz_me

I like staying busy… When I am busy my mind can stay off all the negative things in my life. But when the music stops and it’s quiet. I find myself all alone… My mind goes into a whole another world…

i just wanna pop the pills and take one too many….

i just wanna fall sleep and never wake up…

but i fight these thoughts every night in hope that one day things will get better. I pray they will get better because of they don’t I am not sure how long I will last… I am only human…

9/7/2014 3 comments

Venting…

by This_iz_me 9/7/2014

written by This_iz_me

I cannot sleep…. I keep thinking about what someone said to me “no one gives a ish”….

No one cares and to have no one in your corner ,hurts. I tried telling a friend a few minutes ago that I still deal with depression and cannot get rid of these sucidal thoughts, And just said ” i thought you wasn’t going to go to that place no more”? Like really…. if i could really had a choice to feel the way I do don’t you think I would choose not to be feeling sucidal, depressed and lonely all the time…Damn, I do wanna be happy but I […]

9/7/2014 3 comments

A Mental High

by This_iz_me 9/1/2014

written by This_iz_me

This is my second post on here…. I don’t know how often I will post but I see this an outlet for me. I feel like I don’t have to hold it all in anymore….

Anyway, I have tried to kill myself with pills and alcohol but it didn’t do anything. The feeling you get afterwards just lingered all for a few day. My speech was a little slurred and I couldn’t walk straight but eventually the feeling went away. The feeling of wanting to die or wanting to live varies from day to day. Some days I feel like I got this and others I […]

9/1/2014 9 comments

This_is_me

by This_iz_me 8/31/2014

written by This_iz_me

No one knows, or cares to understand…. But this is me…. A girl lost in her own thoughts. The only person that ever loved me died a couple of years ago, he was like a father to me. Now, no to sound cliche but I have nobody. No friends, no family…. None who care enough to ask, ” hey girl, are you ok”

A simple hug or a few words of encouragement will go along way but that never happens…. I often think of killing my self. I wonder what what life would be without me. Some days i find it so hard to get out […]

8/31/2014 10 comments