just wanted to say goodbye to all you ppl. it was nice while it lasted. lately theres been alot of trolling and impersonating. and before i start hating ppl who are pretending to be other ppl that were nothing but nice to me… im just gonna leave and not come back. its too bad that some ppl have to ruin things like a great chat ive been coming to for years and meeting great ppl in but i suppose it is the internet. but i can see this escalating and its just bullshit that i dont want to deal with right now. so bye […]
i shouldnt ask this retorical question…. Â but would you be mad if i killed myself?
to be honest, i think im ready. Â nothing more will come of my life. Â i wont ever be happy, ive realised…. Â so the is no point…
my goals just keep going to shit and i decide on something lesser… Â to the point where i dont with to be happy anymore, i just wished to end the fruitless pursuit of happyness…. Â and now… Â i wish i can end this…
i cant do this anymore and im sorry if i dissapoint you… Â sorry if im wasting my voice or whatever you think it is that […]
no more hope, no more words…
fuck plattitudes
fuck this feeling
fuck everything… life sucks……
so fustrated, i dont even know what to say….
fuck this
i wish i could say what i want to say…  i wish this post was what i originally thought id post here….  i just feel no will to do anything….  i feel depressed but not in the way it usually was….  im so anxious, so stressed….  and i dont have the crutches i normally used….  perhaps it was a mistake to move, even tho this should be better for me, i think…  i feel like i cant do this anymore….  i feel like things will never get better and never be ok….  which is different for me because i used to think things like i […]
im sorry i havent been around lately, things were getting better and then worse again… you know, the ussual…. but this time, i think im realy done… ive picked my best 4 options, and have started to subtily say my goodbyes… its hard to fully explain everything as many of you would know. and although i feel a need to, i wont.. because its quite impossible…
just know that i did try, and that the help ppl have tried to give me, did matter…Â it gave me a couple more years to make sure that this is what is best…Â there is no place for me […]
alone…. always so alone…. Â but then wait, here comes someone…. oh its dad… Â he just wants to talk about how depressed he is, and how he isnt feeling good, and then he’ll proceed to tell me about everything ive done wrong and what i should have done… Â maybe he thinks i can travel time…. Â but it just gets me so upset… Â i never make anyone happy… Â not a single soul… Â not even myself.
so why am i still here? why do i keep trying…. Â i dont know… Â id say that i dont want to miss out on something amazing that might happen, but over 10 years […]
would you be mad? would you miss me? would i miss out on somthing i would have lived for….  i wish i didnt dwell on  what ifs, because they never happen anyways…  im always alone…  nobody every wants to be with me… so why not just do it…  why torture myself any longer…  i just think…  this time im done…  im sry
is today the day? Â im sorry, i havent been coming here or to chat lately… Â ive been really really depressed… Â the daily thoughts of suicide have returned, and it seems like with every almost love, the crushing aloneness afterwards gets stronger… Â i dont know if i can try anymore, and if thats the case, and im gonna end up alone forever… Â i cant help but think maybe i should just do it… Â i just dont want to be alone anymore… Â cya, and happy valentines day…
i wish i could stop caring about love….
i wish i never wanted it, i wish i wasnt obsessed with it as far back as i could remember…
i mean… Â will i ever be loved?
will i ever feel as happy in love as i do in my ruminations?
i cant help but feel that i wont…
i cant help but feel like the guy who isnt good enough…
honestly, i havent been coming on and talking much, cuz im pretty sure things wont get better, and that i will eventually kill myself sometime soon… Â i get anxious when my dad leaves me home alone, cuz my first thought is always, […]
i dont even want to type… Â so this will probably be shorter than i intended…
i held a loaded gun in my hand again today… Â still watching tv and playing games trying to not decide on if i should accually do it this time…
my only gf and mother of our almost 3yr old daughter left me 8 months ago. Â she said god told her to leave me, but i think the fact she was talking to other guys on dating sites for a while before, is proof that she cheated or at the very least felt like she could find someone better…
my best friend, for […]