I don’t understand how any of this works. Why do I feel such disdain for society? Why don’t I have drive or motivation to find a career and start a life of my own? I hate where I am now but I hate all other possibilities as well. For me, the only option I can see is purely opting out. But with that comes the intense guilt tripping of suicidal thoughts.
I feel like I’m only here to exist for family members and friends, like knowing I’m alive despite my obvious depression and complete failure in life is somehow better than me saying goodbye and leaving […]