The last few weeks I’ve kept postponing my suicide day by day, morning by morning, evening by evening; I don’t know why I’m afraid of death so, lately; I’ve destroyed my life on purpose on every possible level to get the courage to do it. Hasn’t worked out great so far. Anyway I tossed a coin today 5 times, heads I’ll do it now, tails tomorrow; 4 out of 5 times it was tails, so tomorrow it is. I’m glad in a way because it gives me the opportunity to say thank you to everyone here, the brave that left us already and all so many […]
It was 2013, I wanted to die, planned the attempt precisely but when it came to that final nudge, I couldn’t do it. It was 2014, I wanted to die, I got myself into a very hostile environment, I said to myself maybe I would get lucky! The hostile environment kicked me out! 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019 saw me getting treated for depression! I was sectioned that means (I was forcibly admitted to hospital due to a high risk of harming myself), worst experience ever! Over the years I got treated privately (expensive) and through regular channels. 7 medication schemes later, no improvement. Stopped them […]