The last few weeks I’ve kept postponing my suicide day by day, morning by morning, evening by evening; I don’t know why I’m afraid of death so, lately; I’ve destroyed my life on purpose on every possible level to get the courage to do it. Hasn’t worked out great so far. Anyway I tossed a coin today 5 times, heads I’ll do it now, tails tomorrow; 4 out of 5 times it was tails, so tomorrow it is. I’m glad in a way because it gives me the opportunity to say thank you to everyone here, the brave that left us already and all so many others that I’ve met during the course of my life. For the first time in a while I feel joy, it’s like I’m going on a road trip tomorrow that will be positive for me. I haven’t been religious in a long while, but the words in a comment left on a suicide note “fly high angel” brought tears to my eyes and clarity to my soul. I wish you all the best, have one big hug from me.