Author

EvilKitten

Goodbye

by EvilKitten 12/20/2014

written by EvilKitten

To my friends, thank you for being there for me. I enjoyed our chats. I’m sorry I haven’t been around the last couple months. I thought about you often, and wish that I could have had time to come on here and be a “regular” again. You helped me through some difficult stuff, and just talking about it with you guys and hearing opinions was very helpful.

To those who are struggling with this life: try not to give up hope. Things CAN get better. Many of you are just in bad situations. Bad situations that are TEMPORARY. As the old quote goes “Don’t fix a […]

12/20/2014 21 comments

Needing Advice, Please!

by EvilKitten 12/18/2014

written by EvilKitten

It’s been a while since I’ve been on here. I’ve been really busy with work and such.

Things are going rough and I on’y have until the 30th of this month to turn things around or I’ll lose everything.

These are my choices:

1) Default on my storage units and lose all mine and my late husbands possessions.

2) Sell my body to come up with $400 by the 30th.

3) Chain myself to a tree in the middle of nowhere tonight in soaking wet clothes and freeze to death.

Out of those options, which would you choose and why? What do you think I should do?

I’m working, but I don’t […]

12/18/2014 29 comments

Saying Hi

by EvilKitten 10/22/2014

written by EvilKitten

I’ve been super crazy busy and I hate that I don’t have time to come on here and read posts, comment or write anything. You are all awesome and have been so amazing to me, so I just wanted to pop in and say hi and that I’m still here, just working a lot and busy trying to find a second job. Crazy crazy life never slows down, haha.

I hope you all are well and hopefully I’ll get my schedule balanced out soon. I miss chatting with you guys.

10/22/2014 3 comments

Young Widows/Widowers

by EvilKitten 10/21/2014

written by EvilKitten

Hey guys, I feel like I haven’t been on here in ages. I just spent my whole weekend founding an organization and building a website and social media pages for it. A lot of you know how difficult my life has been since my husband passed away last November. And it’s not been for lack of trying or anything, just lack of money and a support network.

Well, that being said, I founded the Young Widow Fund. There are oodles of younger women and men who have lost their spouses and have been left to just flounder due to circumstances that are out of their control. […]

10/21/2014 3 comments

Sinking

by EvilKitten 10/16/2014

written by EvilKitten

I’m getting sick now. I’ve been running on so little sleep and didn’t eat much for 2 weeks (Thank you to everyone who donated so far, I bought groceries, a jacket and put some gas in my car <3 ), and I’ve been working my butt off everyday. The days I have off from walmart are spent scouring the internet for jobs and housing leads. I guess it’s catching up with me. I’m not super sick yet, but I’ve been feverish all day, have […]

10/16/2014 4 comments

Having a breakdown

by EvilKitten 10/15/2014

written by EvilKitten

I’m freaking out about not having enough hours at work, not having a place to live, not having money to pay my bills, not being able to find a second job, and having to do all this shit alone.

This is too much shit for one person to handle. Enough is enough. I seriously feel so freaked and panicked and anxious about everything that I wanna just go jump off a bridge and be done with this shit.

You win, Universe. You wanted to see how much fucking shit one person could really take, and this is it. I’m fucking done, you win, I’m not playing anymore.

Thank […]

10/15/2014 4 comments

Still Can’t Get Ahead

by EvilKitten 10/15/2014

written by EvilKitten

No matter how hard I try, and no matter that some things go right, I can’t get ahead in this life.

So, just lost my place to live Sunday night, staying with my brothers ex for as short a time as possible, we get along ok, but she just hates people in her living space, and I can totally respect that.

Still have my job, and work my ass off when I’m there. Pay is crap, and we’re now cutting hours. Since I started about 4 weeks ago, I was getting an average of 30 hours a week, which was just enough to cover my bills, keep […]

10/15/2014 13 comments

Asking For Help…

by EvilKitten 10/13/2014

written by EvilKitten

Many of you saw my previous plead for help, and lots of you answered the call and it’s much appreciated. I hope you all read my update post from yesterday because I mention all of you and express my gratitude in great length, haha. Anyhow, I’ll keep this short and sweet. I’m going to be making posts like this once every 1 or 2 days, because the more people who see it and share it, the more likely I am to reach my goal.

I really appreciate all of you for caring about me so much, and for donating and/or sharing. It really has […]

10/13/2014 3 comments

Update

by EvilKitten 10/13/2014

written by EvilKitten

Hey guys,

Firstly, thank you all for being so awesome to me these last like 6 months. You have seriously been the best people and are always so encouraging and helpful and try to make me and everyone else feel better about whatever crappy situation has us bummed out.

Thank you to all who have donated money, shared my link to spread awareness, and/or offered encouragement. You guys are awesome, and I can’t thank you enough. I would hug you all if I could. You have restored my faith in humanity and proven that people can help one another in times of need. Amazing. Seriously gonna cry […]

10/13/2014 6 comments

A Few Kind Souls

by EvilKitten 10/11/2014

written by EvilKitten

At the suggestion of a few of you on here, I have set up a Go Fund Me campaign.

Here is the link to my fundraiser.

http://www.gofundme.com/youngwidow

Please share this link with anyone that you think might be willing to help. Even $5 is greatly appreciated.

Those of you who have read my posts and interacted with me on here probably know this about me already. I’m not the kind of person to ask for help. I’m the stubborn person who always tries to fix my problems all by myself. Maybe that’s why I’m in such a horrible situation right now. Perhaps the Universe is trying to […]

10/11/2014 14 comments

I need a hug from the Universe

by EvilKitten 10/10/2014

written by EvilKitten

So, life has been shit. And apparently, even though I’m working my ass off at my job 5 days a week, short shifts of 6 hours a day, and looking for another job on top of this one, the universe has decided to piss all over me, still.

When will it end?

November 2013: my husband passed away. To this point I was a housewife. Inherited $25,000 of debt.

November-January: Slip $5-6000 more into debt due to final expenses, bills, etc. New debt total: ~$30,000

January 2014: facing homelessness, dad and step mother take me in with multitudes of “conditions”

January-March: Broke beyond belief, being treated like a slave in […]

10/10/2014 25 comments

Scars

by EvilKitten 10/8/2014

written by EvilKitten

I thought that given the nature of some posts I’ve read recently, that I should share with y’all my scars. These pictures were taken today, October 7th, the cuts were made on August 19/20. They are still very bright, very noticeable and often very sensitive. For a time, the sub stitches, non-dissolvable, were getting rejected by my body and were pushed up through the semi-healed wounds. I kept having to take cuticle scissors and cut the threads down in the hopes that I would be able to unravel the knots and pull the nylon out. I think I got a few out, but the rest […]

10/8/2014 4 comments

Who’s from Reno, or surrounding areas?

by EvilKitten 10/5/2014

written by EvilKitten

I’m bored and need friends. Chatting in person is pretty nice. So I’m wondering who here is from Reno or within reasonable distance. Maybe we can get a support group going here or just have coffee and try to feel “normal” for a little while.

10/5/2014 2 comments

Annabel Lee…

by EvilKitten 10/3/2014

written by EvilKitten

It was many and many a year ago,

In a Kingdom by the sea,

That a maiden there lived whom you may know

By the name of Annabel Lee;

And this maiden she lived with no other thought

Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,

In this Kingdom by the sea,

But we loved with a love that was more than love-

I and my Annabel Lee;

With a love that the winged seraphs of Heaven,

Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,

In this Kingdom by the sea,

A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling

My beautiful Annabel Lee;

So that her highborn kinsmen […]

10/3/2014 5 comments

My love story

by EvilKitten 10/1/2014

written by EvilKitten

Many of you know the basics of my story. This is the whole story, from when I met my soulmate, to when I lost him. I figured it was time to share the details. I apologize for the length of this post, but appreciate those who take the time to read all the way through to the end. If you make it all the way to the end, there’s a special treat.

We weren’t supposed to be separated. We were meant to find each other. We lived on opposite sides of the country, and through unlikely circumstances, we met when I went to Ohio for school. […]

10/1/2014 11 comments

Life holds no fascination for you anymore….

by EvilKitten 10/1/2014

written by EvilKitten

This is me. Nothing in life. There is no life. Not for me. I float day to day. Do what needs to be done. Go to work. Take care of my kitties. Talk to my mom and brother on occasion. I bide my time. Sometimes when I’m driving around I just wish that a truck would smash into me and obliterate me. With my luck, and my sturdy car, if it did happen, I’d survive, broken and bruised.

I get anxiety at night. Nearly impossible to ignore urges to jump into my car and just take off, or drive to a cliff and just fukin jump […]

10/1/2014 8 comments

Can’t post a real post! Driving me crazy…. Can’t type in the body section… Only titles… WTF.

by EvilKitten 9/30/2014

written by EvilKitten

9/30/2014 13 comments

Courage

by EvilKitten 9/28/2014

written by EvilKitten

I’m still trying to find the courage to jump. Jumping is like all I have left to try. Can’t bleed, tried it, got gnarly scars. Can’t OD, too much risk of survival. Want to try the exit bag, but I’ve heard that the success rate is less than favorable. I don’t want to jump. I want to die pretty, and I need my family to know that I’m gone. I don’t want them to worry and wonder if I just disappear and die out in the middle of nowhere. I can’t do that to them.

I don’t want to jump…. I thought about hanging, too, but […]

9/28/2014 7 comments

Life is complicated, and I hate it.

by EvilKitten 9/26/2014

written by EvilKitten

Feels like eons since I’ve been on this site, but in “reality” it has only been a few weeks. I moved 4 hours away from my previous home, got a job at walmart making a pittance to run around like a headless chicken. Stressing to the max about money. And still wanting to kill myself.

I found a super awesome guy who’s letting me rent his room and is understanding about me not having the rent money until I get paid in 2-4 weeks. And he has a really cool 15 year old daughter who stays with him part time. I love teenagers. They’re so much […]

9/26/2014 14 comments

Still wishing someone would end my life..

by EvilKitten 9/8/2014

written by EvilKitten

My life is in chaos right now. I’m moving to a different state on Wednesday. I’m gonna be couch surfing with a guy who will let me stay in exchange for me being a chauffeur. I put an ad out on Craig’s List saying I needed a place to crash and I’d do chores and cook in trade. I’ve gotten so many responses of basically “sleep with me and you can stay as long as you like”.

I hate people. I’m not a whore. If I were, I would certainly go for a sugar daddy type instead of someone who will let me sleep on their […]

9/8/2014 41 comments

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