dear jaqueline
its true i may be finding out ways of liveing the days with out knowing your ok
and even if it is a chain of one night stands that cross this land ill do it all because its not the fact you left me its that idk if you got fed up with me or you up and died its like a whate some one stuck to the top of my head and with evrey step i take in the qwick sand of this world i sink a littel lower i move a littel slowere with each tick of the passing of time i need […]
i’m back i needed to come back and iv said it all before but fuck it no one is going to read this any way
i have no friends (minor problem)
i have a girl friend but the relationship is crashing (i can live with out her but its the trying to save it cos i love her bit that is killing me)
i’m watching people win everyday when i lose i walk in to rooms and its like i’m not there (witch in some cases is a blessing) i miss some one who i should of let go of by now, i spend my days sitting in […]
yep im a daddy im happy yes but heres the wondaful cach when she figerd it out she became deprest freeked out and now shes broken up with em thinking im going to be angrey i told her its her body she can do as shes pleases so if she dos keep it or get rid of it (i hate refering to it as it but idk how els to say genderless child) im going to be there ither way the problem is i love her i love her with all my heart i whant to make it work between up but she whont exsept […]
i feel like my life is comeing to its end like thers nothing now but to die or let the hear on my face grow and look at the tv screen i uesd to be happy for a wile my last haza ? or was that me lieing to my self and nwo this is the end were i go one way or another two paths to take nither of them good but death looks the like best way foword
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSUIQgEVDM4
some times i think that theres some one there looking over me or something like just behind me juging me and crying for me can i feel it or am i just crazey
onds never heel the time of year that things happun kill me i cant take it
now thats a song i could die to thats a song i could cloce my eyes and stop my heart to thats a song i could shut down my braine to and let my taterd sole be huged and kissed by an angel to thats a song that gives me hope in the dark gives a reson to die for me but i whant to be here with her im only going if she goes and hopefuly she whont but if she dose thats what i will go to so i can be held by the mother earth and her so i can smile close […]
when you as low as you can get
in a pit were no one knows
theres no way out
pick up your gutar and play
pick up your voce and sing
pick up you mike and screem
hit the death beat on the drums
let the music fill your sole wether it screems sings or plays let it fill you
i see my self not just as a wast of space but as a thing to be toyed with its all i have been all my life i had hope but now shes drifting away im loseing evreything i love in the space of a few weeks befor i left for a wile befor i came back here i had some ider of what i was doing but now love and my mind are fading and my hope if i had any is gone
my sole is cold and leeking out of my body im a ship in space drifting a hulk thats all i am a emptey […]
why do i bother aparantly im a lier whats the fucking point in shearing things in a place i thought was safe i give up
“oh dear babe what am i going to do with you dont cry ok im here”
this was after my last time i tryed to leve i could feel her there huging me from 1000 miles away
walking down cold halls stone of the underground
waxing the words strate out of my head the candel burns
the blood red pane in my forgoten sole
did i see this comeing a life of pane and hurt
was there a time i was happy
were my heart didunt explode in to fragments with the wakeing of the sun
was there ever a time were i was hear at all
was there a time were people looked at me full stop!
was there a time were i was saine!
was there a time were i was loved…
the world falls in to darkness and i with it fall
people try to fix me look in to […]
well lastnight whent… well when i landed it knocked all the wind out of me i gave one hell of a yelp should of kept my trap shut chould of bled out cos of my arm insted mum came out and you can just imagin how much she freeked out i feel so sorry for her thay wiped all the blood of my arm and bandaged it up couldent beare the imbarisment of a suicidel son how whould that efect them and there reputashion “oh my” takes the piss im not upset i didunt die any more im up set cos my mum and dad […]
i did it… i cut so much i cant see the top of my right arm… yay? do i get a achevment now will it pop up on my screen “you fucked your arm up and your high on blood loss g fucking g”im at the point now were im floting im going to flote down the stears vire the windo now see you guys in a and e or the morg prefably the later though its only a seciond story but its worth a shot
life is an abstract concept to me…
its like a dance that you cant really understand the concept of the movment seems destorted its like when you first read a script back or a story that you’ve just wrote you know it will make sense when youve ironed out the funny littel bits that arnt sapost to be there but its not like that i cant get rid of the littel bits im reading my life and non of it makes any senes it looks like a blood splat on a wall its got no struchure to it its just a mess some one said to me once in basic befor […]
one day ill slip away no one will know were i am
one day ill fly away till my wings melt in the sun
one day ill bleed out in a shower no one will find me.
one day one more fucking day on this earth ill go insaine
im going to screem at the stars till thay fall on my head
ill sware at the sun till it berns me red
ill get in evrye fight till im beten to a pulp
ill cry evrey nigh till i can cry no more
ill cut my arms till you cant see the skin
ill slice my chest with a razor so thin
ill dice my legs up […]
if you dont wear sun creem you will bern… and get cancer
i have a cuning plan
down long rodes we ride
no light insite no end near
scars on my arm like wrighting read only by me
i know evry line ever virse
i know the name of ech of the people who put them there
im a cobweb the strans are cut in to my flesh
i cach no flys just pane and greef
my head is a monster ready to rip my heart out
it sends me screeming in to the nigh
“that girls not really there”
the girl at the end of my bed isunt there
the blood on the floor isunt there
im a child […]
today i smoked the last of my weed in a awsom pipe i found kicking around the house today i met a new guy whos odvs a shrink but hes a yank and “hip and cool as was in us airborn” hes ok to nice though… today…. today i cryed cos im in tret of loseing the girl i lov theres biger problems in the world than my love life tthat i haft to worry about like my frends who is crying cos she was raped on the 5 haveing been were shes at i know how shes feeling it neverchanges all the people cry the […]
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