yep im a daddy im happy yes but heres the wondaful cach when she figerd it out she became deprest freeked out and now shes broken up with em thinking im going to be angrey i told her its her body she can do as shes pleases so if she dos keep it or get rid of it (i hate refering to it as it but idk how els to say genderless child) im going to be there ither way the problem is i love her i love her with all my heart i whant to make it work between up but she whont exsept my love and i know in some ways (meny) its wrong for me to expect her to say “im carrying you child oh your not mad at me i love you” but shes has said she still loves me allthough she has stoped saying it now i still know but the thing is evrey time i try and make it work try and love her she terns around and says no now or please dont i know hw cmplicatid i have helped meny girls who get have had a baby and through that i know how she will be hormonaly complicated and im simpathetic to that but theres that nagging in the back of my head along with “you stupid bugger” that says “shes never going to love you” and that fucking sucks cos i love her so fucking much… this and my past and my mum and dad being more consernd about what time i get home than how im feeling drove me last night to trying to kill my self agine befor i could she said “think about it what the fuck am i sapaost to do on my own and what am i going to tell are baby” i hate it when shes right but the fact still remanes
1 im in a fucked up place AND i may be haveing a baby
2 i still whant to die
3 i just whant her to let me love her
if you can help me please do
Hey mate – the poet 🙂
Congratualtions first of all, even if you feel weird about it. I don’t know if this will help you, but I’m reading a book about shadow work. Have you heard of it? Basically it’s about taking all the things you hate about yourself, and accepting them as part of your personality. To become whole. Rather than perfect. And to realise that those things can also be strengths if applied right.
E.g. you seem to be hurting a lot, but that also seems to make you able to produce really beautiful writing, and to be really sensitive.
Even if you feel fucked up, I think you can be a wonderful father. I would be proud if you were mine.
And when you describe her reaction to you, it is evident that she wants you to be there for her and the kid, in whatever way.
I hope you find the love for yourself 🙂