6 frends dead and gone ash and rot and blood jumping swinging bleeding out my hands coverd in blood dieing loseing razor cut were i cant scrach the itch i had there names in my skin and now there gone in the wind like there last breth the world forgot them quickly i never will but there names are lost forever the faces are in the front of my mind i love them all i love them all
my littel joke has always been i tick the remember me box when i sine in cos that way at least some one will its a sham that its becomeing more and more true iv just come back from a larp event a place were NO ONE GIVES A SHIT WHO YOU ARE OR WHATS WRONG WITH YOU AS LONG AS YOUR UP FOR FIGHTING RP AND DRINKING AS LONG AS YOUR A NERD OR A GEEK AND AS LONG AS YOUR NOT A DICK UP FOR A LAUGH AT EVREY AVALABUL TIME YOU ARE COOL non of them give a shit about my spelling or […]
dtm is what we make befor we die ay one who has had a near deth or has died for sevrel secionds (welcome to the club of almost there) will have felt this i first tryed dmt when i tryed killing my self for the 6th time and didunt understand it till at a gig i tryed dtm knowing what it was dtm is the cem in your brine that carms you down to die with out dmt you would spass out on the floor like in a bad scary film so the question will it help you pull the trigger no it whont if your looking […]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLPsZoF8q1U
this is what i put on when im sad or takeing acid for a trip or both allthough i would say no acid when your in a low spot can stend your mind down a bad trip
so today im not shure good day yes frat with sreess
me and mum fell out over nothing i cut badly im worry about my gf cheeting on me and not talking to me and why is she not talking to me i take £5 and gtfo find a frend to bring me up met a girl robyn shes nice iv helped her befor she was going to this party that i had beentold by mum not to go to i think to my self for a secions you whent to jamaca so cal and colarado (sorry to any ameracans for buchering names) and all befor […]
nothing is the same im fighting for controle im sick to my gut i need a joint im hot and sweating and for what… for love the most beautiful thing in the world yet when it even stagers form the tracks it hurts its worth it i know it is i feel like shit i feel sick i feel so fucking alone why WHY ITS NOT RIGHT iv put so much in to so meny people and this is what i get out of it a life that with out one person in it will end up back were it was why i dont know […]
i feel nothing i laugh and cry druing the day then i come to this were i feel nothing did the day meen anything i whant to cry and evrey tiem i get cloce to the tears i yern for thay stop i whant to feel the blood run down my arm agine i whant to feel sick as i look at it agine i whant her as i wrote that the tears have come i whant her llike it was i felt the change when she got bad it felt like a punch in the belly
i havent thought this in a long time because im […]
how meny roads must a man walk down befor you can call him a man
my favoret song i never understould it not really but its about the vam war
but i still conect with it evrey were i look i see death
im sorry but tonight iv got to go to bed all the guys iv messaged im sorry i just cant to meny bad memoreys have come back tonigh
i just howled like a man on fire at the moon… it hurts so much not being abel to talk to her some times and haveing a depreshoin spike now is really not helping i cant even tell her i dont whant to it could hurt her ni just whant to crawl back in to the hole i came from and sleep for ever escape iv got to stay on my feet i whant to yell agine its like a fire i whant to run about the wood yelling and screeming my frustrashion at the world she will understand my paine the woods are her voce and […]
cold dark sleepless night take me away by the candel light of the lantern on the bow of the boat of deth as i dance my hands on the key bord the words of hope and loss on the screen take me trough me i know how bad i am take me fight me love me kiss me i whant to be toched dont let me go i may fall dont hold me to closce i may hurt you teas role down my cheeks as i think of her tern to black then red blow up in my face all best layed plans stop
take a toke carry on
i […]
so in a efort of seperating lies from truth in my confused head in going to experament with this self help i havent posted on here for qwite some time apart form two posts last night frustrated that all the people i once knew were dead or missing i desided to try this this is my first try at leveing this place iv tryed 26 times that is to say 26 failed tryes and times were iv been a inch away… my first time i remember not so well its kinder a blere but if you can imagine me siting on a sofa pack of 20 crying […]
i havent been on here for a long time iv seen some shit im my time (god i sound like a vam vet !) but you know that dont meen shit people stoped calling me emo now im the hippie guy who smile all the time no one can seem to get to him some one said theres something abotu my eyes something dark if only she knew but ill tell you what ever sins i droped acid once no more no less its opened my mind just enough to let the light and truth in the people are lieing to you the world loves you and its beautiful you […]
i may spell your name wrong and other words… i may lose fath think you will never come back i may some times think wtf am i doing but you know what fuck it all when i get that emaile my belly flips and we met on this sight just over a year ago now and i love you more than evre are frends who we knew here are probaly dead or thay got better (better what is better) were still roleing on well not realy roleing iv tryed to kill my self agine twice now… iv had the thoughts even when im dancing with […]
today i morn the loss of my good frends dan edwords i fownd his bodey this morening he was a frend and a brother to me in his note was a letter wich he had read befor me its was open (for a few weeks hed been opeaning my letters for some reson) and he put a note inside saying “do well i love you dont …” the rest was to messey or coverd in blood to read so crying aand stagaring on my feet i take it from the guy who has just given it to me and i reed the note but i […]
i think its safe to say from what has just happund no one cares about me at all
i think i need to think for a bit
so long
ok so i came back after a wile and theres so meny people here i dont know iv just come back outside of a acting jpb that has made me to bisey to check up on people and its all my falt now i think its cos i was in the forcis (dont ask cos im not going to tell) but i feel like ok frends gone… get new frends then i know somewere inside that most of the people i knew are ether dead theres no two ways about that one then theres some who may just be hiding in the depths of the sp and […]
did you ever see that film into the wild if you havent stop reeding go on netflix and spend 2 houres of your life in the presents of artistic wonder rely good film any way the man in the film is troubeld by the welth and greed of the world and gos to hide in the wild he is poetic… any wayi wish i could do that just pick it all up and role on out with jacey and stick a midel finger to the world and this cost of liveing we all haft to have i feel srry for the world you know i […]
befor the days were i bent down to pick up pecis of my sole my eyes were bright my hear was long and i didunt cear as long as the sun shone high in the sky but the das are gone were i have time tolook at the sky in a world were i hafe to pay for “the cost of liveing” if you look at it its a joke the cost of being alive… im sorry but what the fuck
iv given up on me… simpal as no seciond thought so why am i still alive esey because of jacey i love her so shit i do whant to live but not for me why would any one live for me im ugly skiney fucked up worthless spited me im not worth the shit on your shoe but she shows me this 🙂 and im happy
but i havent herd from her in a bit i konwshes ok but some one till that to the guy in my head… i dont belev in god but i fucking pray for her evrey night kiss the phchure stell […]
the man runs down a wet street in london in his qwiaring hands he holds a small torso its lims slashed to ribions the man is crying… not waling tears but solum determind tears with eyes that pearst the gloom darting arownd to find some one anyone but even london sleeps and looks on uncearing the man now wet trough steps in to the light cast from the hostpitel the shineing from the figers arms is light relectid from the blood spilt from the lasharashions the blood has soked torugh the preshure bandige aplied vire a med kit and on tto the mans shirt the girl […]