I need motivation to live a life today, to start rebuilding. I know what I want my life to be, but I am not taking any steps towards making it worth living. I know I am depressed, but the more I give into the depression, the worse the pain and my life gets. I want to live today, and I want to take steps towards rebuilding my life. I know what to do to start, I just for some reason, don’t seem to do it.
Wolfenstein626
Here I am trying to help people feel like suicide isn’t the only answer and now i’m feeling like killing myself. I don’t know where to start. I’m unemployed, still living with my dad, going out of my fucking mind, repeating the same horrible day over and over again, losing my soul to this addiction, can’t stop thinking about my ex, can’t seem to shake this depression, body hurts all the time, broken hearted, pissed off, lashing out at those around me but usually alone, thinking about contacting my ex, lonely as fuck, and losing who I am. I don’t know what matters to me […]
Katherine,
Your memory haunts me every day, and every night when I sleep I am cuddling with you. I say I love you and you say you love me too. We kiss and I feel joy and my heart feels full. Then I wake up sick soaked in sweat shaking and crying with the worst pain imaginable. You may have moved on with your life. You may have a new love, but none of those things ever happened for me.
To me there is something called trust and loyalty, and you absolutely betrayed my trust and punished my loyalty. I loved you more truly than words […]
I feel so much hatred toward my ex it’s unreal. I loved her so much. I was so happy being with her and I loved her more than anyone. I felt so much respect towards her and I treated her with so much respect, love and kindness. What we had was special, and we talked about long term. I was having a hard time, I had just gotten kicked out of my house, I called her for support and she dumped me over the phone. She said I don’t love you romantically any more I love you as a friend. I asked her if she […]
I’m really not happy with what my life has become. I was doing well for a while, but now shit has gone bad. I have fallen into isolation again, and I feel like as a whole people just seem to waste their time. Watch boring shit on tv, go to a boring job day after day, listen to the media shove shit down our throats. engage in pointless political debates. I just don’t care about any of the bs that I see so many people waste their lives on. Life is meant to be so much more than this, and honestly i’m feeling fed up […]
I have heard that ibogaine has the potential to break an addiction. I have tried everything to be free of the enslavement of addiction. I have tried 12 step programs (for 3 years), therapy, self help, life style changes. ect. All has failed. This addiction is miserable and is once again starting to drive me back into a hole of hopelessness and suicide. If anybody has tried ibogaine, or has a way to be free from addiction I need to hear it. I can’t think of anything I wouldn’t try at this point.
I feel like I’ve survived hell and have lived to tell about it. I spent 7 consecutive years getting more and more lost, suicidal, and miserable. I had lost absolutely everything, but eventually with the help of myself and others I started rebuilding my life. It has not been easy and there have been long periods of time where I have felt completely lost again. I just remember how it felt to feel and truly believe that nothing in my life would ever get better and I see so much of that here. When I was suicidal and hopeless I would eventually get to the […]
Lets recognize depression for what it really is, a compulsive liar. It tells you life is hell, you are not good enough and never will be, it robs you of the joy of life and poisons your thoughts. I know this because I spent 7 consecutive years in a downward spiraling depression. You are not worthless, not everybody hates you, things can get better. I know what it’s like to have constant negative thoughts and feelings beating you down, but one day a lightbulb went off. I was feeling shame and deep self hatred and thinking thoughts like “you are the ugliest person alive” “everybody […]
I created a music playlist which I named hope recently and basically it’s just a bunch of songs that make me feel hope, or songs which I find powerful. Listening to it regularly has really changed my daily outlook. Check it out. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cDdMZ2K9o0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=685br8I_SpU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0fPuYR3I_k https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=43HV_vn5JlQ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CF8XbAThBA https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_x727foJEsI
I feel like shit today. I am coming off of meds because I can’t handle the horrible side effects anymore. It has gotten to the point where the side effects are so bad (muscle spasms, dizziness, blurry vision, sedation, shaking, off balance) that I would prefer the anxiety and depression. I am now having to face the fears and feelings I have used psych meds to escape but I literally can’t function on these meds. I don’t believe that meds treat the problem, instead they seem to just sweep it under the rug. I say that based on 15 years experience and about 30 different […]
There is so much bullshit and corruption in this country it makes me sick. People are blinded by religion, politics, media, money, and lies and I feel like the only real person left at times. I have no where to talk about this and if I try to people look at me like i’m crazy, but I have always seen it since I was a kid and I know i’m not wrong. If anybody else feels like I do please let me know. I need to know that i’m not alone against this shit.
It says I am blocked out from SP, what’s up with that? Can any admins explain to me why that is? If it’s because my name is similar to Wolfenstein666 that’s because I am him, I just forgot my account email because that was so long ago, so I created a new account. Don’t piss Wolfy off, you all learned that last time, lol.
I first came here around 4 years ago. At that time I was in total isolation, and had no friends at all. I had multiple untreated mental disorders, chronic pain, and was thinking of suicide constantly. I thought it was the only way to ever be free. I had suffered abuse, betrayal, ect. I had attempted suicide and lived my life with a death wish. I was self destructing in multiple addictions and they were slowly killing my soul. My life was a miserable existence. I hadn’t known hope in years. I laughed at anybody who tried to tell me there is hope which is […]