Author

XcomingdownX5fdp

I have no one by my side, no friends, no relationships, no one who can help me. starting May 28th 2015, I'm giving my self 30 days to find at least one person I can call a friend. If I'm unsuccessful, that's it. I pull the trigger. "They say that suicide is the greatest piece of cowardice... That suicide is wrong; when it is quite obvious that there is nothing in the world to which man has a more unassailable title than to his own life and person."

30 day Count-Down: 3rd post

by XcomingdownX5fdp 6/3/2015

written by XcomingdownX5fdp

26 days left.

I still haven’t met anyone since the previous posts. not even on the dating apps. Every day, on tinder, I hit the max amount of right swipes allowed, yet I never get a response from even one person. The other apps just remain silent. No notifications, no messages, nothing. I tried meeting people over the weekend by going to a few bars. but it just wasn’t my scene. Everyone I talked to looked at me like I didn’t belong there. I hate this feeling of neglect. I’m useless, absolutely fucking useless. I’m begining to think this whole 30 days to meet people thing […]

6/3/2015 3 comments

30 day count down: 2nd post

by XcomingdownX5fdp 5/29/2015

written by XcomingdownX5fdp

28 days left

I found someone one a dating site last night who had many similar interests. We talked all night and then some today. I felt happy for the first time in a while. She started flirting with me and I honestly couldn’t believe it. We agreed to meet up next week to go hiking. Of course my fucked up mind instantly fell in love which never ends well. Turns out she likes some other person. Not sure why she’s on a dating site if she isn’t looking for someone. Maybe she just lied about liking someone after seeing my picture. Can’t blame her, I’m […]

5/29/2015 4 comments

30 days left

by XcomingdownX5fdp 5/28/2015

written by XcomingdownX5fdp

I’m fucking done with this world, I’m sick of being so alone. I have no one to turn to. My fucked up brain ends up making me no fun to be around. I have severe deppresion, bipolar disorder, ADD and insomnia. So I stay up all night constantly imagining what the ceiling would look like if it were painted with my brains. I’m not a bad person, I do everything in my power to help others and do the right thing. But it always backfires. I’m so close to ending it , i’ve been like this for years. The only reason I haven’t gone through […]

5/28/2015 8 comments

im tired of being alone

by XcomingdownX5fdp 5/27/2015

written by XcomingdownX5fdp

I don’t want to live for another minute. I’m 22 and I don’t want to make it to 23. I’m sick of being alone. I’m sick of having no friends, no one to turn to, and no one to rely on. I was put on this earth with a fucked up brain. I have bipolar disorder which goes hand in hand with the severe depression. And if that wasn’t enough, I have insomnia that keeps me up at night and ADD so I can never concentrate for more than 5 fucking minutes. I hate it. I haven’t felt happy for so god damned long. Being […]

5/27/2015 7 comments