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yagharek

by yagharek
written by yagharek

 
Are You Sure You Want To Quit The World?
If you were desperate and hopeless enough to log on to a suicide chat room in recent years, there was a good chance a mysterious woman named Li Dao would find you, befriend you, and gently urge you to take your own life. And, she’d promise, she would join you in that final journey. But then the bodies started adding up, and the promises didn’t. Turned out, Li Dao was something even more sinister than anyone thought
BY NADYA LABI
October 2010 Update, March 20, 2014

Yesterday, the Minnesota Supreme Court reversed the lower court’s decision, ruling […]

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Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage

by yagharek
written by yagharek

I really should have died then, Tsukuru often told himself. Then this world, the one in the here and now, wouldn’t exist. It was a captivating, bewitching thought. The present world wouldn’t exist, and reality would no longer be real. As far as this world was concerned, he would simply no longer exist—just as this world would no longer exist for him.

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wanting to die

by yagharek
written by yagharek

BY ANNE SEXTON

Since you ask, most days I cannot remember.
I walk in my clothing, unmarked by that voyage.
Then the almost unnameable lust returns.

Even then I have nothing against life.
I know well the grass blades you mention,
the furniture you have placed under the sun.

But suicides have a special language.
Like carpenters they want to know which tools.
They never ask why build.

Twice I have so simply declared myself,
have possessed the enemy, eaten the enemy,
have taken on his craft, his magic.

In this way, heavy and thoughtful,
warmer than oil or water,
I have rested, drooling at the mouth-hole.

I did not think […]

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out here …

by yagharek
written by yagharek

All of us here with our suicidal ideations and intentions (this post is not addressed to the wannabe saviours, bless their sweet souls) – I lurk and read, and i write and comment rather little, but I am here every day nonetheless. And the impression I’m getting is that, despite the fact that we are all weak in one way or another, some people discuss suicide from a position of strength and some from absolute vulnerability. The strong ones display vulnerability,  but the vulnerable ones do not display strength. I’m not going to name names; I’m not even going to tell you which of those I imagine […]

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Alistair Campbell on Robin Williams

by yagharek
written by yagharek

To those tempted today to ask what Robin Williams had to be depressed about, with his success, fame, wealth, lovely home, lovely family, tons of opportunities and great moments in his life, please just stop. If he had died of cancer, would you ask what he had had to be cancerous about? If he had been run over by a car, would you have aske – See more at: http://www.alastaircampbell.org/blog/2014/08/12/may-robin-williams-tragic-end-herald-the-start-of-new-attitudes-to-depression/#sthash.vz4Hfjrj.dpuf

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marianne williamson’s HORSESHIT

by yagharek
written by yagharek

I’m so tired of this quote streaking across the internet like the shitstains of hippies … fuck the fuck offfffffff:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children […]

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suicide, but not yet ii

by yagharek
written by yagharek

The difficult thing with the not-yet part, is the illness. Illnesses. Just because I’ve informed the committee that there will be a delay, the pain doesn’t vanish. It gets alleviated somewhat by the placatory there there, one day it’ll be over …but there are still major episodes and major episodes don’t give a fuck about listening, they just scream.

But I can probably do it. Hopefully.

The world is not seeming sweeter as a result. Colours are not brighter. By the time I can go, there won’t even be any goodbyes to say. Does that make me luckier or unluckier than you, who will create anguish […]

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suicide, but not yet

by yagharek
written by yagharek

Sometimes I think I was born suicidal. No idea whether or not that’s actually possible, but I was certainly born … damaged. I’m choosing my words carefully, I don’t know how much I want to say yet.

But yes. Born damaged and then damaged a whole lot more in various ways.

I made one serious attempt many years ago and one that turned out farcical a few years ago and now … now I am sure of many more things and so I have some leeway, when the damage allows it.

Perhaps I will have time to write the longest suicide note in the world and then, I […]

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