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i cant do this anymore. i cant keep holding back all these tears. i cant do it anymore. but idk why im even still even here still.
please let it stop.
Whenever i look around me, i see people smiling, people hugging, people caring about each other. i guess im just another stupid girl though. i fell in love with a boy who goes to the same school as me. i see him every day and it hurts me because im still tryin to get over him. he sees that im in pain but he goes on acting like nothign is wrong. i try to find the courage to talk to him but all i end up thinking about is death. i dont want to keep on with this pain. i want it to finish and […]
Dearest Dear Friends and Family Hello Friends Dear Family
To Whom It May Concern:
Where do I start with this letter? Maybe I should start at the beginning… It’s a good place to start, I guess. For the past five months I have been sad, depressed, suicidal. For the past five months I have guided myself, comforted myself, and hurt myself. I have a friend. It’s a he. I know. Woah. Don’t go all protective on me though, because he has helped me through this journey and I hope he still does. For the past five months there have […]
I have come to a realisation about myself. I have realised i am beyond my own control. I usto think that I could rule my mind with an iron fist, that i could stop the darkness, with nothing but my will. It vexed me, Oh how it vexed me when i failed but then i realised something. I realised the reason i failed was because i was not ment to succeed. Why would i be ment to change what and who I am?
I have faught the darkness in me for far too long. Now i realise i was never ment to fight it, I […]
Im 15years old, I work two jobs trying to save money to go on a mission trip.
I have all A’s in school except for English because I don’t understand the book were reading currently
My mom finds out and she gets pissed and says she’s disappointed in me
I can’t do evereything ever, I’m so stressed from balanceing school and work and now she tells me she’s disappointed.. I’m f**king done
Hello everyone, I’m back again. This time I couldn’t make it to the imagenary two week line, rather I crashed down hard yesterday after I came home from the University and needless to say the thoughts were back once more stronger than ever. I’m not willing to give up but I feel like a vent is in order and who knows maybe it’ll give you people a small crumb in getting forward.
So how did it start this time? I suppose the first surfacing of the emotion of not wanting to be on this planet, in these shoes or life came the last Saturday. I felt […]
I’m looking for people to talk to.
I’m twenty-one year old guy from the UK. I have anxiety, I get depressed, and I have suicidal thoughts. I use to self-harm but haven’t for ages. I also think I might have a personality and body dysmorphic disorder. I’ll be seeing a psychologist this Thursday…. at last.
I don’t usually talk depressingly with others, but I am more than willing to lend an ear if you wish to chat about things that are bothering you. It would be nice to also talk about things in general though.
I like outdoor activities, but I don’t get out much to do them. […]
Is there a differance? Ya there is ..Love is forever. Lust is just being stuck in what you dreamed about. —-FANTASTIC FANTASY …..THATS TO DIE FOR. BUT THE JEALOUS. FRIEND ALWAYS SCREWS IT UP….THANKS ALOT …..must be. N.I.c.e. having that power over someone. Thanks Devyn that makes 2 girls you did me wrong with.
I’m so tired, i cant take it anymore, i thought i was getting better even the thoughts had left my head, then they just came crashing back and now it’s just like it was before. I cant tell my family, they thought i was getting better how can i tell them it was just an act. that i still feel the crushing loneliness, the hatred inside. How do i survive? I don’t have anyone, nobody seems to care  and the ones i thought did care, just turn their backs on me. I just want someone to look at me and tell im not alone. But […]
I’m hearing things. People who aren’t there. The things they say are true, and they point out things. Things I didn’t notice.
I have no one I can talk to who understands how I feel. Even family members can’t be trusted that much any more. I feel like I’m slowly going mad.
I stare into space for ages unable to move, just wanting to hide, but no where to run to.
I’ve felt like this for years and years. I have ‘I’m weak please kick me’ mentally stuck on my forehead or back somewhere and there are some kind people who won’t take advantage. But I start to question myself again – am I taking advantage of them in some way too? Am I subconsciously testing people to work […]
am i the only one who felt worse once someone told me i had severe depression?
am i the only one who stays up late thinking because sleeping will mean its closer in waking up?
i know a lot of people are feeling how i am, or worse, i just cant stop crying or feeling the way i do. i wont to change, i want to be reborn so i can take away these scares that i’ve been told im weak over. i want to start over, new body, new everything. i want to go to sleep and never wake up again.
i was caught cheating in school (actually the teacher saw the writings on my hand after the test) and never have i gotten into so much trouble. I told my parents in advance about the thing and they were so disappointed. i know all of these is my fault and my reasons will never be valid.
i just wish the guilt will go away. i have been back to feeling depressed again because its been hell for me lately. its the end of the school year and they’re just dumping schoolwork on us like there’s no tomorrow. then i got caught cheating and i feel worse. […]
Today  I started cutting again (well actually last night). Its like I needed the pain again. Also I’ve researched about suicide methods. I really can’t handle what life requires me to do.
School sucks and I did something horrible that’s probably never gonna get fixed. Even though theres like 10 days left of school I really want it to be over. Maybe its just not for me. I hate being pressured to be something perfect
I hate it when people assume I want to die because my boyfriend broke up with me or some sh*t. That’s not the f***ing reason! If that were the only thing in my life, I wouldn’t want so desperately to get out of it. You don’t know what I have been through..
I was raped by my step-brother, who I lived with for almost 2 years after the incident because I didn’t tell anyone.
My boyfriend proposed, then went back to Japan and killed himself. He had more problems than I.
I live with a racist, sexist, homophobic, religious family, and I’m Wiccan and bisexual, […]
The Anger came back. It feels like poison. It takes everything out of me and to compensate, I take it out on everyone and everything around me. I wish I didn’t I feel sorry after I do. But it just doesn’t seem to go away. It’s a punishment. I can’t sleep at night. I drink so I won’t dream. I have such an overwhelming guilt. I wish I could go back… Not to change the outcome. I don’t think anyone can cheat death. When it’s your turn. It’s your turn. I just wish I could have gone back. Not left her alone. I wish anyone, […]
Does anyone else ever put themselves in risky situations in hopes that they might be killed? Like walking at night hoping to get ran over or stabbed, or going hiking in an unknown area and you’re inexperienced, driving in bad weather, or do some extreme sport or activity. Anything that puts you at risk, because you feel like it would be better to get in an “accident” instead of committing suicide, which has so much stigma attached to it.
I do this, I find myself not caring if something happens to me. A lot of times IÂ hope something happens to me.
I go to sleep to escape this miserable reality, knowing damn well that I will wake up in the morning with a panic attack, resulting in a substantially worse reality than the one I escaped in the first place. After spending a painful day in this miserable world recovering from the panic attack, and very possibly not getting any work done, resulting in more anxiety, I go to sleep again to escape, et cetera.
Non existence is a perfect state, where such concerns do not exist, and nothing is known of them. Not even the idea of knowing, or the idea of an idea, is known, […]
I’m bored. And that’s bad. There’s a blade in my room, but I’m not even sure I’m ok enough to try to move it away. I think I’ll just leave it where it is. Another thing, even after actually getting a full night’s sleep, I’m still hearing someone call my name, and no one’s around me.