Dearest Dear Friends and Family Hello Friends Dear Family
To Whom It May Concern:
Where do I start with this letter? Maybe I should start at the beginning… It’s a good place to start, I guess. For the past five months I have been sad, depressed, suicidal. For the past five months I have guided myself, comforted myself, and hurt myself. I have a friend. It’s a he. I know. Woah. Don’t go all protective on me though, because he has helped me through this journey and I hope he still does. For the past five months there have been a couple of things that you didn’t know about. Here is a list of those things:
I was suicidal
I was depressed
I cut *just once though, but I did come close to two times*
I met a very amazing person
I became anorexic
I wrote
Now I know that’s a lot I have kept from you and I do sincerely apologize for that, but I just couldn’t come out to you with all of this. I know I should have come out and said these things so I could get the help that I needed. But none the less I didn’t. Why didn’t I? Well first off ask yourself this question: How would you tell your family about all of the things I have listed above? How would you do that? How would you come out and say it? See. Now that’s the problem I had. I didn’t know how. I needed the help, but I didn’t know how to get it. So I wrote a letter. Which you are reading right now.
Now after a few months of this depression sadness thing I told a few friends. I told on of my friends and her reaction was just chill. She just replied and reacted in such a way and it was amazing. She just was cool with it. She was okay with it. And I loved that because I was afraid. And I still am. I’m still afraid of reactions. I told another friend about me being depressed and I said I might be suicidal blah blah blah and she replied the way I didn’t want anyone to reply. She threatened to tell the counselor if I was suicidal. Now I am suicidal, but in that situation I couldn’t be. So I lied and just said that I was sad. Now why did I lie? Because I wanted the people that I wanted to know about this have it come from me. I didn’t want my you to hear it from a counselor. I didn’t want you to hear it from a friend’s concerned parent. I didn’t want that because I feel like this is such a serious and personal topic that you should hear it from me. I told one other person and she just comforted me, but we never really talked about it after I came out and I think that’s the best way to react to any surprising news. Because I don’t really want to sit down and talk about it. Because that won’t get me anywhere. It just won’t. So please if you could, after reading this just don’t comment, don’t say anything, just pretend like this never happened.
Thank you,
LetItGo *But of course I would sign with my real name*
So there you go guys. Good? I don’t know… It’s just a letter I wrote… *sigh*
19 comments
LetItGo, that is perfect! If I was a parent of yours I would want/need to see that! I would do everything in my power to get you the help you need. I would (as a parent) reevaluate my parenting skills. Maybe, my busy life has taken me away from my daughter, even as a parent we need a call to reality. This is an excellent and true call from a lovely daughter. In short, you should print this out and bring it to mom and dad tonight!
Oh I don’t think I can do that….
I like it as well. I don’t think though that your parents will just “pretend you never wrote the letter”. Even if they dont directly talk to you about it they wont be able to act like they did before.
But I want them to. I don’t want them to do anything different than before. I just want them to know. You know?
LetItGo, you can give it to them. That is a fact. You just need to get the courage up. I believe in you.
It takes alot to write something like this, you should be really proud of yourself. I usto believe asking for help is a sign of weakness, but i have learned that thats a lie told to us by our own depressed minds. It takes alot to reach out, like you did to your friends. that makes you a stronger person than me. You should think about what @onlyloveisreal said and show your parents, and get the help you deserve, but even if you dont you should still be proud of what youve done so far
Yes, I totally do and I wished I was able to do the same. But unfortunately it doesn’t work this way. You have to decide whether the relief you get is enough for you to tell them anyways. For me it isnt – yet.
I have given myself until the end of the school year. So in June. That’s 4 months. If I am not better by then, then I will give the letter to them. I will fully come out to everyone, but if I do get better then there is no need for them to know about this.
I have given myself until the end of the school year. So in June. That’s 4 months. If I am not better by then, then I will give the letter to them. I will fully come out to everyone, but if I do get better then there is no need for them to know about this.
Fair enough. To that I ask an honest question. Do you think you have the resources to change your view about life without enlisting the help of your parents? For example, school/parental time/after school activities/challenges with your sister?
Are you sure you will not just say youre fine so you dont have to give it to them?
I’ll honor your request and not comment. Thank you for sharing your deepest feelings. Good luck
Yes. I have the things I think I need to get through this. I think I am so close. I just don’t want to come out too soon and get better. I have a few people that help me.
Thank you
I made a deal with one of my really good friends. They know if I’m fine or not and I think I will trust them to make that decision or to suggest what I do. They are helping me through this right now and I think we will agree in the end if I’m okay or not.
Ok good, I know how the mind sometimes tells itself things and then forgets about it later, happened to me so often 🙁
Me too, though I don’t think I can forget about this.
Ok, but I also have concerns if you ever face these challenges again later in life, this could be a catalyst to form an even stronger and closer relationship with your parents enabling you to not feel so fearful or intimidated about sharing your true feelings with them.
True…