For your poems.
There is a monster in my mind
He comes out when I’m alone
He tells me that happiness is a lie
And death’s a better home
He shows me all the hurt
I put my family through
Every mistake I made
He says “Its all on you”
He has never spoke a lie
He tells me how it is
He says that if I would die
I would no longer be his
The monster in my mind
Controls my every […]
I have considered suicide and homicide intermittently for years because I have trouble living with the knowledge of how horrible people are,and the despicable things they do. I feel more homicidal tonight,but thats a Good thing..its much less painful,and its pretty fucking fun,too.. If you could take a moment to consider my note,id appreciate it immensely. Has anyone ever heard of a song called “Wang Dang Sweet Poontang”? Well,look-if not you need to jump over to Youtube and witness the spectacle of a loincloth/ bikini clad Ted Nugent wearing Uggs (of course I know theyre not real Uggs,duh.they werent IN back then,but it sounds funnier.he […]
The truth is she’s a mess. Once so well put together. Once was that happy girl that smiled twenty four- seven. The girl that had great friends and was nice to everyone. She was complete with joy. That girl faded. That girl doesn’t exist anymore. A gloomy depressed girl now exists. Battling for her life every day. Battling with life. She went from going out with friends to staying up all night crying. She shut down. No words spoken. But she woke up the next day and painted that smile on her face. Look in her eyes and you will see a world filled with […]
Who am i.
What am i.
Is any of this real.
I was brought into existence so why the fuck cant i feel.
I’ve thought myself crazy
Nothing seems benign.
I cant bring myself to distinguish good times from death that passes by.
It’s fake.
A lie.
It’s all just in my mind.
It started with philosophies but now i don’t know if i’m alive.
Who am I.
“It starts out with a question. How much of it is real?
The skepticism sets in, and lessens your appeal
Next, you study conspiracy, develop some theories
And become extra wary of all your previous learned material
Your tolerence for stupidity degrades
Most of your friends seem to be trapped in the maze
You narrow your associates down to the few you can stand
And even they sometimes wonder what’s going on in that head of yours
You study east and western philosophy, psychology, physics
You think […]
cold dark sleepless night take me away by the candel light of the lantern on the bow of the boat of deth as i dance my hands on the key bord the words of hope and loss on the screen take me trough me i know how bad i am take me fight me love me kiss me i whant to be toched dont let me go i may fall dont hold me to closce i may hurt you teas role down my cheeks as i think of her tern to black then red blow up in my face all best layed plans stop
take a toke carry on
i […]
…
I want to welcome you to your life. I’ve seen and filled it with my eyes, and it is pure. When you believe in something strong, you can be too sure. And if it’s safe to sleep at night…
I will walk you through your home and set your place. I’m still attracted by your smile, that rests upon your face. You don’t want to rest your lips.. So lets keep them speaking. I hear her speak to me..love
Oh she told me things I’ve set in stone, drove my heart steaks through the ground. I’ve up rooted..all I’ve known.
I know a world […]
Hello all, this is my 6th entry from my journal (wrote this a while ago, just stumbled across it again actually)
As always, comments appreciated
I am my feet, and my ways. Guided by peace to this day. I need my needs, cause I am sand. So I will slip in to your hands, and beyond your reach.
I speak the words holding me, like clashing these bricks and these swords, cutting deep through my soul. I reap the rewards for good seeds and still retain some sort of piece to myself.
I am my feet, no, not my name. Guided by hate through this game. I need release from this place and the chains still draining me until this day.
I am my search and my sins. Guided by […]
Murderous bastards!
The unholy gleam takes it’s root
Splinting and shivering in every pupil.
Pupil, pupil- dilate as such!
Show me movement in your harsh breeding;
The curses fall from your lips and spatter onto my face.
They are like pennies, new and heavy on my skin.
The skin! Around my eyes it is purpled, like dark fruit,
And tissue-thin; it often hurts me.
Poor weakness! Hard eyeballs cup themselves in my sockets
And weigh me down like a hole in a boat.
I am too meek for this heftiness.
My soul claws and sobs to me like a sleepless baby
And there isn’t anything left.
The sweet sunbeams, the dull peonies
Are as empty as my heart, and they […]
I stopped into a bar the other day for a pint of new castle, on my way home from work of course!
I sat down, not too many folks at the bar..a couple playing pool! Anyways..
I’m sitting there and this (kinda) young dude is sitting there talking it up with the tendie, sounding like he had had a few already. So I’m sitting there just sorta chiming in on conversations going on, sipping my ale… And then me and this young dude get to talking about death and old age.
We both made it plain in our opinions that living past a certain age […]
“I love you with all of my heart and soul”
“We are always going to be together forever”
“You are my soul mate, my one and only, my true love”
“I never want to be without you, I can’t even imagine my life without you”
“I want to make you proud of me”
“I want to do what’s right”
“Please don’t leave me, I’m trying..really I am”
“You’ve always been my better half”
“Sometimes things are just meant to be”
“You always know what to say”
“I’m sorry I’m so closed off”
“You make me so happy, I don’t have words to explain”
“I need […]
Like all humans the boy had limits.Limits to what he could do.but also limits to what he could take and after all the time that had passed he finally understood one fact.He would always be alone.the boy had tried harder than most people would have…he tried harder than he should have….he gave up.he was done.he decided to not care anymore.he cut himself off.he showed nothing.that darkness in his heart had once again warped him.his face grew blank.no smiling.no more crying.nothing…he gave in to the lonliness.he kept it all inside.his feelings of pain and resentment and sadness…he decided to close them in his heart and pretend […]
Midnight found me once again
Thumbing back through time,
Tending wounds I thought were scars
And crying out in rhyme.
I saw my trembling hands again
Hold instant felicity;
Nearly tumble into bliss,
Trade life for sweet simplicity.
Where would that barter have found me,
Had I felt that edge’s sting?
A joyous heaven? Serenity?
Or seventh circle, second ring..?
I loved him I loved him I loved him. I still love him. I love him.
Excuse me…I seem to have left my pain laying around here somewhere..have you seen it? It’s black and fowl and twisted and I just can’t seem to hang on to it anymore! lol call me butter fingers if you must but it keeps on slipping away!! 😛 lmao!! Anyways..if you see it, it’s labeled “loathing of a lost and forgotten soul”. It might be walking around aimlessly somewhere here, just thought I’d check again. Let me know if you find it’s sorry little bitter ass! lol
Thanks! 😉
Long ago there was a little boy (he was six years old at the time)who played all alone by himself everyday.the little boy never had any friends.the reason for this was that his mother kept having to move them from place to place for new jobs.they werent stable.because of this the boy fell behind in school and felt stupider than the rest of the kids in his grade.he also didnt know what the new trends were and what was ”cool” to the other kids.the boy tried so very very hard to fit in.he just couldnt do it.he tried and tried and tried but no luck. […]
I’ve been stolen
And I know I can’t be found
To which these eyes can’t understand
Life’s been destroyed
And am I now
Without regards to who I’ve been
Treasured times have taken me
Far beyond the whispered willow tree
Ideologies
And simple needs that burden me
Will rest here in this place
Where was I going
I never figured out
I couldn’t wait
I want it now
That’s my testimony
It’s all I had to show for myself
Cause I’ve been stolen
And can’t be found
To which these arms keep reaching out
Can’t fill a void when all is lost and alone
Tic tok
the time has come
with 1 swipe
i am done
my days are numbered
i cant keep running
i got to stop
no reason to live
while i am in pain
i cant contain
what i have unleashed
but at least i gave
a good fight
-brian
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