For your poems.
I lay in bed at night thinking of all the words I didn’t say. All the should of and could of’s all followed by didn’t. All these words swimming in my head. The thoughts that never end. Regret fills the voids of this life unlived. A never ending circle of constant reminders that I am nothing
I start out each day
All brand new
With a smile on my face
And my head held high
I socialize
I laugh at jokes
And I even give advice
But somehow my day
Always ends with a wet face.
I don’t know how to control it.
It keeps creeping right on back
It’s like a tickle in my throat
It keeps pestering me
Until the attention is given.
I don’t know how to deal with this nonsense
I think I may go insane
I just need […]
Mom,
You didn’t fail,
You tried your best,
You believed,
You raised me to think,
That life was worthwhile,
That people were good inside,
That i was Perfect the way i was,
But Mom,
You don’t see,
You don’t see my mind,
You don’t see the futility,
The hatred,
The fear,
The pain,
I show you the brighter side,
So you won’t worry,
Or see my intentions,
I love you.
Dang, I haven’t been on here in forever, it brings back so many memories! I see there’s a lot of new additions to this site. Nice to see some new faces. Erm. Uh. You know what I mean. Anyway, I was just in the neighborhood and thought I’d update on the depression status.
My parents found out that I had been cutting, and they took my knife, blades, safety pins, and lighters away. I haven’t cut in 2 months and 3 days. I have never wanted to cut this badly before. My scars all look like those really cool white ink tattoos and you […]
Visions I’ve been dreaming are coming down. They’re changing my future.
Visions I had buried underground. Returning to abuse us.
There’s blood on my hands, and the killers not my enemy. It’s all for the sake of love, it’s all for you.
Dads.tatoo – A new website and a place to tell my story and educate the masses! Â Would love to hear what you think about it!
so first, i want to apologize if i say anything that I’m not supposed to. i do that a lot >.>
well a month ago i tried to kill myself, and afterwards i thought that everything would be fine, and i felt happy. now i feel like theres no future for me and that I’m gonna feel depressed for the rest of my life, and really empty. i know that ill probably feel better by tomorrow but then ill just feel bad again. T_T again sorry if i say something wrong, I’m not good about talking to people about my feelings or actually feelings in general.
now […]
If I only could
If I could fill your hurting soul with love and happiness,
I would.
If I could fix your broken smile and light your eyes with life,
I would.
Believe me, If I only could, I would.
I’m not good at this, I wanted to give it a try. xd
I wish I could make everyone smile, just for a second.
At the risk of becoming “that guy,” the one that’s a massive douche, is suicidal and writes poetry, I’ve written my first poem.
Wordpress didn’t seem to like the file being embeded but you can read/hear it here: https://soundcloud.com/bullfrog_88/we-believed-them-spoken-word
Here I lay,
On my bed ,
Its my shallow grave,
Not deep enough to see my pain,
Dig a little deeper,
You’ll see it there,
Along with my soul that I left somewhere,
I hope you find what your looking for,
In this shitty life you need to close the door,
The public doesn’t need to see what I have become,
Because I am a girl,
With feelings just as strong,
Call me Mia,
I speak for us all.
Seriously, where are you at? Reply! Let me know people can actually care about each other unconditionally.
you try to act normal
you don’t want them to know
too ashamed to tell them
you don’t let it show
they think your happy
they think your fine
you try to keep it up
emotions walking the line
you don’t want anyone to ask
yet you wish someone would
you wish someone cared
you wish they could
she doesn’t like you
you don’t blame her though
you don’t like yourself
she still doesn’t know
when they find out
(cant keep it up much longer)
you give in to guilt and shame
and wish you were stronger
I have no bonds with people. I’ve been abused and alienated. Deep depression, constant migraines, always tired, can’t concentrate or think straight, memory issues. I’m chronically stressed. People are just rude and hateful and judgmental and prejudice. I’m in a town with very little opportunity literally just a dozen different places to work, with no transportation. I’m living in poverty which means basic needs go unmet. It sucks everyday is a struggle. Nobody to help me out, don’t qualify for state benefits.
God, I hate you. I see now that you were my father both above and on Earth. You haven’t seen me yet, but soon my tears will leave blood-red stains. Take me into Heaven or throw me into Hell, but I won’t stay here anymore.
I may not be suicidal but i do get depressed because of my lack of motivation and my fear of the future and this is what i like to listen to. So i made a playlist with some music that is nice to the ear and yes i know its hip hop but these songs are not the normal type you see its deep and all about the soft beats and the lyrics. Its poetry with beats. I feel like theres alot of rock and i wanted to put in something diffrent. Do me a favor and atleast listen to The Book  Of soul. Thanks people […]
Time flies faster than I could ever imagine… =_=â€
Anyway! Goodbye Winter so long snow, Hello Spring it’s time to watch flowers grow… I love this both seasons. ^_^
I couldn’t post on time because I had some problems with the internet.
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/10-The-End-of-All-Things.mp3
She lies next to me, breathing softly, quiet whimpers drifting from her mouth as she sleeps, as I am wrapped in a sadness I cannot explain. She makes me happy, she does, but it seems to be more than that and yet, at the same time, less. Inside me, ocean waves pass over my head, tangling me in the current, and I can’t breathe. Tumbled in some form of vertigo in my head, in my heart, while my body lies on the sand, the water barely lapping at my toes.
So what’s wrong? Nothing.
Why, then, do I feel like I’m falling apart on the inside?
I […]
Pen to paper, ink on the page
Unable to let flow the words I made
A block, a wall, something in the way makes it feel like these words are fake. My heart, my soul, my self I used to pour in the paper
The lines, the truth printed out in front of their maker, never forced never coerced out of his mind but now those same words I’ve written a thousand times seem hard to find.
Have I drank the well dry? Is it because I’ve gotten too happy to cry or feel empty inside? Is that where my inspiration was derived? Where my […]
The blade gleams in the moonlight
A drop of cursed blood spilt at night
On to the dirt and the mud where it feels right
And tears from an empty husk mix with the blood and mud at dusk
The thoughts flow like water, getting caught in the rapids of this martyr
One less life to plague the earth
From ashes to ashes and from dirt to dirt
Perhaps one day someone will learn
The call of a thousand muffled voices
He can’t tell the difference between the memories and the ghosts toying with him
He can’t hear reality’s call, so subtle and soft in […]
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