Vanitati

I am lost. I can’t find my way. I’ve been gone so long that I do not even know myself. I hurt constantly. My body aches with sadness. I am empty. I feel nothing but pain. All that I loved I feel absence. Feelings missing where I know they should go. Pushing through the motions to be normal. To appear sane. I don’t understand me, how do you think you can? I am a shell of a soul, eternally meant to suffer. I crave to feel again. Those moments never come. I am less and less a whole but filled with pain and sadness. I can’t live like this much longer. This is no existence to behold. It is a battle never ending between life and death for which life is slipping and death taking a foothold. There’s no answers to cure me. Sleep is my only salvation. I am ruining all I have and hurting those around me. I want to make it stop. I can’t take much more. I am sorry for its the only way not to hurt.