i recently took in a stray cat…..he’s all old and crochety and sweet and has one eye missing….it took awhile to gain his trust, but now he’s purring at my feet…it’s very rewarding and theraputic……i came upon this site like a week ago, i was doing a bunch of research on suicide methods……i have 3 really awesome people in my life, and i’m daft as fuck but i realize it’s 3 more than some…….but i have some health problems, it hurts to move sometimes….so i do alot of drugs, socially acceptable in my case of course, which somehow makes it worse……i’ve also had some things, […]
I found my soulmate the love of my life we’re getting married next spring. But my anxiety depression psycosis and other things make me want to gravitate toward the drugs I promised I’d never take I’ve done half of all the ones I know of weed crank coke etc. I’m thinking about going back to cutting at least that’s what I think is best for me you know? My thoughts about my self have gone to the worst point they’ve been on in a while. My Ed has came back taken control of me I just wanna say fuck it but for my love I […]
He handed me a pair of pliers
and he told me to pull out his teeth,
because as long as he had them he’d
use them to do bad things.
You’re cold on the inside,
there’s a dog in your heart
and it tells you to tear everything apart.
My body’s covered in teeth marks.
Your bite’s worse than your bark.
You ruin everything you touch and
destroy anyone you love.
You’re all over me.
He’d sunk his teeth into the flesh of many others,
infecting them with whatever was already inside him.
He’d broken all their hymens,
cut them open and played inside them.
I joined SuicideProject.org last night and thought I’d introduce myself:
I have battled severe depression (and later suicidal feelings) since I was a teenager. I kept everything to myself until a few years ago when I revealed to everybody in my life what I had been going through. I won‘t say things have been perfect since then, but they have improved – I guess you could say I have been in “suicidal remission.”
Anyway, that’s the summarized version of my story. I plan to pop in here whenever I feel I have something constructive to add. I used to be quite good at helping people with their […]
It has been over 8 months since my last suicide attempt. I was finally some what a happy person, but now I just don’t think I can do it anymore. I know I’m a teenager and I’m obviously going to get upset but my suicidal thoughts have never been this bad. The pain that I feel inside is starting to become unbearable where I have started cutting myself with razors again. I thought if I started cutting again the pain would go away a little bit but shocker it didn’t. I bet we’ve all been here, thinking about life and how different it would be if we were gone, wondering if […]
I am 22 and I feel like I am living because I have 2, since I was a child I always knew I was different from the other kids, I was always wondering about death and where I will go… my parents got divorced when I was a kid, I actually don’t remember anything of that, but I remember being raped… since then I have been a lonely person and I am really afraid of relationships with guys , I had friends, but for some reason I ended up cutting the relationships with them, is like, a lot of people know who you are but […]
Bereavement is never a happy thing, unless you really hate the person, even then though I won’t be happy. But one tends to accept bereavement if the person concerned is an aged or maybe an ailing one, probably not too close, just as a part of life. But if the person concerned is someone you just loved to be with and always looked up to in so many ways, somebody who had always given you bundles of joy and happiness, even while suffering himself, somebody who have touched the deepest core of your heart, then all the world just breaks apart!
It is not that I’ve […]
You think it’s just physical
The cookie cutter arms
The chopping board thighs
But there is a battle
A battle beyond the realm of chemistry
Beyond the realm of physical sight
It’s invisible but tangible as you cringe away from the presence
From the presence of this spiritual battlefield under wraps
Felt but not seen
Experienced yet never fully understood
Ever present, ever active
The spiritual warfare waging in our midst
Cookie cutter arms
Chopping board thighs
You keep your distance and avert your eyes
Yet you don’t know why
There is a battle waging
Beyond the corner of your eyes
But there is only reason to […]
For three years I’ve been depressed, as the doctors say. Last month I hit what felt like rock bottom. Still, I feel like I don’t deserve to talk about it here. I feel like I should be happy since everything comes so easy to me. I’m so angry with myself for purposely failing my tests and I just want to hurt myself for hurting everyone around me. I feel so guilty. I love my family and my friends and I’m only hurting them by feeling this way. The pain and emptiness inside is overwhelming, and only seems to be growing. I don’t know if I […]
Last year I was hospitalized and then I went to a residential treatment facility to be treated for an extreme depressive episode. I remember self-admitting to the behavioral health unit. I was so out of place. I had never had an experience like that. I’ve never used drugs, and in my group therapy sessions I saw first hand how much pain addiction caused.
It’s been a year since I was released. I’ve visited with a therapist, and I’m still seeing my psychiatrist.
After all of this, my thoughts of suicide are creeping back in. I read a story about two teenage girls who killed themselves, and one […]
It just keeps happening.
Hey, I dunno how things are for you but if you never see this then congrats! :p Hopefully because things ended up being a lot better than you would have imagined. I was honestly stunned the last day we messaged each other. I really wish that I could have helped you a lot more. To be able to do what you did for me. But then again I guess someone else was doing it. If you ever messaged me on kik, I probably never got it. I wipe my phone often. Sorry for not being there for you if you needed me. We lost contact […]
I recently came to the conclusion, maybe I don’t need to end my life I just need a new one. How would this work?
Get separated.
Move.
Use gov. assistance to pay for daycare & actually get a degree and job.
Actually stand on my own for once.
Well, f!ck me apparently. There’s really not such a thing as separation in Nebraska. I would still have to do all the steps for a divorce, which I can’t afford and neither can my husband. I’m stuck in a marriage I don’t want to be in. I have been screwing another guy for 6 months now…..I don’t think I could want any […]
I gave my friend my tablet so he could text his girl & Instead of going to the messages he went to messeger.I looked as soon as he gave It to me & saw that It was on a conversation with an ex.When you click on It the first thing you see Is messages of her trying to stop me the day I attempted.Re-reading what I said that day Is shocking.It happened this year so If he looked at the date he must think I’m a nut.I’m so deleteding ALL my messages.I’m just In shock.
I no longer want to die. I have already died to my old life. I have left all my troubles behind me. Now is my time.
Jupiter Jazz
Asteroid Blues
Black dog serenade
Stray dog’s strut
Honky-Tonky Woman
Jammin’ with Edward
Jupiter Jazz Pt. 2
Is it, Ballad’s Of Falling Angels
My Funny Valentine
Bohemian’s Rhapsody
Smile Like A Child
What else, Mushroom-Samba
Ganamyde’s Elegy
Pierrot Le Fou
Wild Horses
Cowboy Funk
Scratch
The last two
Uh… Hard-Luck Woman
Somewhere, the DVD Box Collection
Into the void
In regards to suicide I will say this. Though life can provide us with the indulgence of our favorite things, with friends and lovers, with the company of people who make our hearts soar, life can also provide us with troubles, thoughts of failure and doubts of our own virtues. My heart is impaled with sadness and sometimes I go through life a ghostly figure nothing to look forward to except the warm embrace of sleep. When a person’s life is infected with the disease of depression and some days are a struggle to live and most nights a struggle to sleep, it is suffering. […]
I love pens. I love finding them on the ground or on a desk and taking them for myself. I don’t know what it is about having a lot of pens that makes me feel good. I just bought 108 pens on Amazon just now for pretty cheap. I feel guilty, though, because I am from a very poor family that never had the money to buy pens or pencils for school. We’d have a few that we used, the rest were my dad’s pens which we couldn’t use since he wanted to keep them for himself. Maybe I get it from my dad. I […]
I’m like so tired of being here. I am 16 still to young to leave this house. I just don’t belong here and I am such a bother to my family. Mostly everyone and I just want to leave…. Help me. Any tips?
I think I may have finished life a bit early. There’s really nothing more that I want out of life. Now that I think about it, I’ve never really wanted anything out of life at all, except maybe to be an astronaut when I was five. People often talk about dreams and so on, but I see those as just DREAMS, and not reality. I’m tired of living and dreaming, and ready to just go back to the earth as a lifeless clump of molecules.