You know, I am trying to limit myself to one post per day on here, but something is bothering me. Well… not bothering. But I have something to share.
I never used to get self harm – even when I was doing it myself, but I didn’t think it was self harm until about a year ago. I never… understood why people did it. To get away? Because they hate themselves? Boredom? Distractions? I don’t know…I still cannot comprehend why I and others do it, because hurting yourself when you are already hurting is… nonsensical. But we do it anyway. We do it for the […]
6 frends dead and gone ash and rot and blood jumping swinging bleeding out my hands coverd in blood dieing loseing razor cut were i cant scrach the itch i had there names in my skin and now there gone in the wind like there last breth the world forgot them quickly i never will but there names are lost forever the faces are in the front of my mind i love them all i love them all
my littel joke has always been i tick the remember me box when i sine in cos that way at least some one will its a sham that its becomeing more and more true iv just come back from a larp event a place were NO ONE GIVES A SHIT WHO YOU ARE OR WHATS WRONG WITH YOU AS LONG AS YOUR UP FOR FIGHTING RP AND DRINKING AS LONG AS YOUR A NERD OR A GEEK AND AS LONG AS YOUR NOT A DICK UP FOR A LAUGH AT EVREY AVALABUL TIME YOU ARE COOL non of them give a shit about my spelling or […]
I had a friend named Mikhail Belakov. He called me, asking me this question: What is there worth living for? He continued to say that he honestly didn’t see any purpose. He left a suicide note for his parents and older brother, and hung himself. I was informed of this by Mrs. Belakova, who told me the next day. He was only 15 years old.
It wasn’t until today ’til I realized the full truth of my procrastination and weakness. Another birthday, a year too long I’ve lived. Another birthday, a year I could have rid of myself. And now what, what can I do but be sad on this day.
I dont have have much extended family, but what I do have of them I talk to about once a year. My cousin was a firefighter in Denver for a while. He was in college doing a volunteer program. On a day stroll he spotted a man laying on a park bench, pour gasoline over himself, then lit himself on […]
There are times in my life where I don’t feel like the girl I normally am. Normally I feel strong, happy and just filled with life. Other times I feel like I am not even real. I feel as though I’m lost, scared and worthless. I have these times at least two or three times a year. I keep everything that upsets me in a box in the back of my mind and never tell anyone. I always feel as though I’m not allowed to share my sad thoughts with others because I shouldn’t have them and people would tell me to stop complaining because […]
Earworm.
http://youtu.be/incXMcAUbtk
Sometimes I think I was born suicidal. No idea whether or not that’s actually possible, but I was certainly born … damaged. I’m choosing my words carefully, I don’t know how much I want to say yet.
But yes. Born damaged and then damaged a whole lot more in various ways.
I made one serious attempt many years ago and one that turned out farcical a few years ago and now … now I am sure of many more things and so I have some leeway, when the damage allows it.
Perhaps I will have time to write the longest suicide note in the world and then, I […]
Alright so this is better than spewing shit out on twitter to people who know you, or potential employeers…
Anyways so I just started my new job, but I’ve always had a problem with social environments.
It’s hard for me to interact with people around me, and the work gets so busy. I end up feeling pretty alone sometimes.
Also a lack of social confidence at a work place? It’s no good to say the least. People don’t look at you the same way.
Funny thing is I used to be much better, even though I used to be quiet, I used to be good with girls! My mojo […]
How? Just HOW? I just met my sister and she has 2 jobs now. I can’t even do this one job without falling down the suicidal thoughts slope again recently. And it’s not even a job I entirely hate. Plus I am ALREADY on meds.
Just how can people do that. And don’t get me wrong, I am NOT a lazy whiny jerk that has nothing to do but complain. I just don’t understand.
Sometimes… sometimes I think my past and childhood has robbed all my energy. And now I don’t have any left to live.
Alright, I know this isn’t strictly a post about suicide but would someone please enlighten me – why do some people have red flags next to their names on here? Sorry for my ignorance.
Thank you!
TheStranger17
Being alone for me, can be good or bad. It’s never really either, there is peace in being alone sometimes, but other times… I’d do anything for someone to be near me.
It’s weird, craving company, for me anyway. I never really was a social kid – I’ve said before I found it difficult to fit in and I was never really bothered about going out too much. But I don’t know, something changed in secondary school; I found myself wanting to be… accepted? Wanted? Included?
I changed my habits I guess – I stopped reading and writing so much fanfiction, stopped holing myself in my room […]
I’ve tried for a very long to just simply put on a mask and fake it till I make it when it comes to being okay. I don’t have much energy left for it though. I can tell my mask has begun to crack and the will I had to hold on and hold out has been fading much more rapidly that ever before. I don’t have anyone to talk with on any of this nor have I ever. What I hate most about it, is I hardly feel there is even a reason I should feel like this. I just cant find a way […]
I get told all the time that ‘everything will get better’. It doesn’t. Things get better for a while, a few weeks, a few months, even a whole year! But the depression never truly goes away. It’s always there. Suicide will always be there as a last resort.
I am sorry for posting something negative, I wish I could post something more inspiring, but then I’d be lying the whole time.
I have been been happy for a few months now, and I thought I was getting better overall. Things were finally looking up for me. But as soon as something totally bad happens, I revert back […]
“i could hear my heart beating. i could hear everyone’s heart. i could hear the human noise we sat there making. none of us moved. not even when the room went dark.”
i don’t know why i’m here. i can’t quite seem to figure out anything anymore. sometimes i get these little fits — my roommate calls them “funks” — in which i am just unhappy. i am upset. i am sad. i am angry, at you, and me, and the trees, at the world. and i don’t know why. i never know why. a girl is supposed to know herself better than anyone else could […]
I like this guy. He broke up with his girlfriend for me and for some other reasons. Their relationship had gone on for roughly 18 months. See just last night I thought, you know I’ll be honest with her, so I told her that I liked him and that I was so sorry. We had a row. I’d just like to point out me and this girl were close. I hate myself. I fucked up a relationship, a friendship and everything happy in my life. I don’t deserve to be happy because this girl loves this guy. But he likes me and I like him.
This […]
– is being powerless. We know that nothing will ever change for some of us. We know the pain, whether physical, emotional or spiritual will become worse if nothing else. And here we are without the courage or the means to end what amounts to (at least for me) a useless existence.
Sure, a sea slug has some purpose but it lives without feeling or much thought. It sucks in the tiny organisms that sustain it until it can reproduce and eventually be consumed by something else. But isn’t it content in its purpose? Does it cry itself to sleep knowing the ultimate pain it will […]
Love makes my life horrific, I’m an Indian, I didn’t get love from my family when I’m younger it’s becaz of my father domination & I couldn’t able to tell to my father anything, I spent my childhood in my grand ma home, after death of my grandfather i came to my father’s home age of 13, upto that time I spent a silent life, after reaching my home suddenly it became violent, so I thought to have a love life but unfortunately I didn’t get that too instead of love i was been cheated twice.
I can’t able to tolerate the pain so long, this […]
My first time on here so please bare w me. I’m 36, was married at 23 to an emotionally abusive man. After many years of medications, therapy, hospitalization, failed suicide attempt, family pissed, lost most friends, finally left him, was happier than I’d ever been in my life….. Was fine being alone…. Friends came back into my life… Wasn’t looking for anything, enjoying new found freedom…. And then, my dearest friend since I was 18 suddenly back in my life, he saw change in me, gave him hope to get out of equally horrible marriage, we grew much closer and evolved into romantic relationship. […]
“The death and I are playing hide and seek”-nobodyknows__