– is being powerless. We know that nothing will ever change for some of us. We know the pain, whether physical, emotional or spiritual will become worse if nothing else. And here we are without the courage or the means to end what amounts to (at least for me) a useless existence.
Sure, a sea slug has some purpose but it lives without feeling or much thought. It sucks in the tiny organisms that sustain it until it can reproduce and eventually be consumed by something else. But isn’t it content in its purpose? Does it cry itself to sleep knowing the ultimate pain it will face? It was designed to complete its life cycle and that is all it knows if it even knows that. It more than likely only knows to seek food and reproduce when the time comes and nothing else.
But there is a balance – a balance we don’t have. We know what pain and anguish tomorrow holds. Some of us wake dozens of times each night desperately struggling for a way to fall back asleep while consumed with pain or the screaming voices in our head.
And so we seek self-medication; we crave sedation or the elation of stimulants – anything to distort time or emotions or to dull the awareness of physical pain. We try self-hypnosis, infuse the air with incense or over-indulge ourselves in video games, sex, food or other desperate distractions. Ten minutes goes by and the pain and anguish flares again; it knocks us to the ground, and burns through us like Thermite consuming steel.
Yet the courage or the means to stop such madness evades us day in and day out until the day comes when we are driven to destruction. We throw ourselves in front of a speeding train and traumatize a hundred innocent people; we leave our brains scattered on a bedroom wall leaving a hugely painful mess for loved ones to clean up or a rotting body for neighbors to find. Or worse, we fail and turn other lives upside-down and add police reports and hospital bills to our already untenable mess.
Oh, for the comfort of being consumed like a sea slug… Or the courage to stop the madness
6 comments
It certainly is a *****.
Yes…the self medicating paragraph ..very profound.Ten minutes pass and anguish flares again….so true. Then,the hell of ripping through everyone we loves lives,and wreaking havoc..medical bills. Just to still be here suffering.WTF are we doing!? Why cant we get well and be happy? Its just not for us..
The trappings of society are meant to do exactly what the name implies; that’s why we can’t stop the madness.
The world most of you see, is imposed upon us all, by the .01%, who own ~85% of the world (including the infrastructure which facilitates the dissemination of information of their choosing).
You can’t change what lemmings do; you can only construct barriers to modify their path.
Good post. The balance we don’t have is because we live inside our own heads…always thinking this isn’t good enough, sorry about what happened yesterday, worrying about what’s going to happen tomorrow. We never really give ourselves the opportunity to be like a slug…just live and feel completely what’s happening now. Eat when hungry, screw when horny. Get eaten when bird comes. that’s all…only that. We’re always wanting more, less or better food. That chick slug didn’t scratch my itch or tickle my belly, she’s no good. I gotta get some other chick slug. And that’s the human curse. Too much thinking inside the head.
that was the most beautiful post I’ve read on here yet.
you gave words to a voiceless feeling. thank you for sharing this beautiful writing.