I don’t know what to do with my life anymore. Life is just taking control of everything. It’s summer and my mom still hasn’t found out about my cuts and scars. I just need someone to talk to, please? Someone that understands me. I just miss the Jada I used to be.
This is not going to be an easy night, but i have made promises to people that i care for deeply that I will not doing anything crazy. As most of my posts, I praise my brother because he is the honestly the only reason I am still here. Love you brother and I hope my problems do not take away from your honeymoon. Sleep well SP.
Novelist Graham Greene played Russian roulette as a teenager
If the first volume of his autobiography A Sort of LIfe is to be believed, then the novelist Graham Greene did not have a very auspicious childhood.
His earliest memory was of sitting in his pram atop a hill, with a dead dog at his feet. When he was five, Greene walked with his nurse close to an alms-house, outside of which a crowd had gathered. Suddenly a man rushed forward and into the building. It was said he was about to cut his throat. Greene and his nurse waited among the wide-eyed spectators, until the man appeared […]
Hey..
Did you know that I cried myself to sleep last night?
Did you know that I sit alone in class?
Did you know that my friends talk behind my back?
Did you know that I fake a smile?
Did you know that I lie when I say I’m alright?
Hey… Hey, mom..
Did you know that thoughts of suicide became an ordinary thing for me?
Did you know that it hurt when you called me fat?
Did you know what I go through at school?
Did you know how much it hurts when I don’t get a higher mark in my tests, and to see the disappointment on everyone’s faces when I fail their […]
I would love to wake up and not feel so much pain emotionally and physically! I’m starting to feel that my life is hopeless and unreal. I’m 26 and from what I’ve experienced throughout my short little life on this planet, has been the epiphany of hell its self. Everyday I wake up I’m hoping for it to be my last day, but I’m never lucky. I had tried suicide in the past, but they were a load of bullshit methods. But now I’ve figured out that the only way out of this world is strictly painful methods. We want to go painlessly, but that […]
I prayed for normal
Oh, how I prayed.
I was so young, and didn’t know that those didn’t actually work.
Given too much too young,
you can’t help.
I wish that this was simple enough for you to understand.
I wish that what I’ve already told you was it. Wouldn’t that be nice?
But there’s more, there’s so much more underneath my skin and on those cuts
I prayed for normal.
Dance of love,
voice above
voice under,
voice of thunder,
speak from
the distant clouds,
voice of passion,
voice of life,
speak from
the silent memory,
sweet intertwine,
whisper beauty,
dance into
our lush green garden.
Im 26 today. Every day i live is another day i pray to die. How fucked up is that. I keep praying to god that he’ll just take me his own way. Car accident. Heart attack. Allergic reaction. The flu. Some crazy disease. Cancer. Being hit by a car. Even kidnapping, I dont really care anymore. Ive already been raped… Rape and murder would be better than this shit. I just dont want to get to the point where i have to do it myself. Why cant i just accidentally take the wrong step going up the stairs and, bam, thats all she wrote. Its crazy […]
I’ve never posted anything on a blog before, but given the circumstances, I feel obliged to speak out. I have lost my roommate Carl to suicide about a month ago. The circumstances were tragic. His sister had committed suicide last November and this had sent the family into a huge depression. Unfortunately, both of Carl’s parents are now dead as a result of their own hand. All of this was far too much. It still feels unreal to me. Things like this just don’t happen. I am unsure how to move on…..
I’ve spent most of my life being suicidal. Every single day I wake up and wonder if it’s going to be my last. I exist in a dissociated haze or fog 99% of the time. I really hate my life. I don’t so much hate my job — I think I just hate doing anything that takes any effort… like I am just so thoroughly tired that I don’t give a shit enough to lift a finger for myself anymore. I just want to not work and wait for the credit card to run out and then kill myself.
Over the past seven years I’ve drifted […]
My name’s DeathsAngel like the book I have arthritis, fibromialgia, CRPS, gird, aspergers, am bipolar, have manic depression, here voices, see a shadow, was abused as a child and am severely bullied. I have wanted to kill myself for three years. Last year I told my mom and she sent my to the hospital ever since then I have constant med switches but nothing is helping. I’m under eighteen so I have no say in my meds. I’m severally obese or at least medically obese, and ugly don’t even try to fight me on it. I have no self esteem. Make-up does nothing to improve […]
I’m a piece of fucking shit and this world should throw a “thank fuck he’s dead” no-expense-sparred party when I drop dead! After dreading my cousins wedding for days and not sleeping for the past week it’s turned out as bad as I imagined. Ofc it would because everything that could have gone wrong in my life has and always will occur… my mum dying shortly after I was born, being beaten and abused, bullied, being fucking retarded and barely hitting puberty, and being mentally ill.
I fucked up the whole day. I got lost driving to the place, I couldn’t find a seat and everyone […]
does our heart thinks we are immortal?
I opened this account around a year ago I think. I’ve referred two of my friends to this cite for things they couldn’t talk about. And I still have other friends with depression. I don’t understand the double standard of “I can be in pain, I can cut, I can try to die, but you can’t.”
Was just writing a comment to you, but you already had removed your post.
So sorry to hear of your illness, my heart goes out to you. I’m having a terminal condition as well and have horrifying symptoms too, and they are getting worse by the minute; so I want to end it my way soon as do you.
If you would like to talk personally, I can give you my email address. We can talk here too if you feel comfortable. But if you desire not to talk, take care and I sincerely wish you a peacefull and painless end. You will be in a […]
Humans are going to reborn again and that’s how nature created these species.
will you want to reborn again?
For my case, even if I reborn a million times, I will be suicidal and going to suicide. It is futile efforts of nature
im a big big losser , i failed in everything in my life . i failed to get a job even im an engineer , failed to get a driving lisecnce even im 24 years old but i keep fail in the exam. i failed in love and she cheated on me . i failed in my body and i gained 35 lb and lost my hair
how my life can get worse than this ?!?!?!
My anxious is peeking and for the stupidest of reasons. I just want to go home, get in bed and sleep the next week away. There is a pretty high probability I am going to run into an ex next week. Ideally, I don’t want to run into her, nor have her know I’m in the building, but life likes to throw these tests at us.
Even though I am going to do everything in my power to avoid meeting face to face, I just can’t stop planning out how such a potential interaction will go. Why do I keep planning and analyzing a future situation […]
I overdosed about 3 months ago and was involuntarily baker-acted. That was when my family became aware of the magnitude of my bipolar type II disorder.
I have battled with mental illness most of my adult life. Things have gotten worse.
I am about to turn 50. I had a successful career where I made very good money. I worked in publishing, an industry that is all but dead. I had a nice house, a couple of cars, a boat. Things weren’t perfect, but they were OK. Then I left my job to work from home on my wife’s business, and take care of my newborn daughter. Long […]