Some say it’s all or none. Others say something is better than nothing. Which is it? I get so mad at myself for accepting the unacceptable, but when I cut people out of my life I regret it. I have no life essentially. No family, and one good friend (who doesn’t have the time of day for me because she does have a family). After being depressed for about 20 years, I don’t believe it gets better, I believe this is my life and I need to accept that. I am not meant to have or experience things that others do. I am right where […]
I’ve done quite a few posts on here before… That was a while back. But now everything is worse. I’m breaking  and I don’t know what to do. I just want to show how I feel. Basically I was bullied horribly from 5th grade to 9th. Then in 9th grade I couldn’t take it so I tried to commit suicide. Not just because of school but because of my family. I couldn’t take it anymore. I got sent to a psychiatric hospital for 2 weeks. I ended up getting diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia in December of last year. It gets harder and harder each day. […]
When i was 12. I tied a extension chord around my neck and when i sat down and let my self go. Everything slowly went fuzzy… My group home staff saved my life that day. And im not going to lie to you. everyday i think about doing it. I had three more suicide attempts after that failed. Lately ive been contemplating on doing it. I cant stop thinking and thinking. Im 22 years old now and its been a decade of feeling suicidal  when will it stop? Or do i have to do it to make it stop?
I must say, I think the thing I most truly, profoundly hate in this world is people judging every f(I can swear on this site right?) thing I decide on or do. There’s nothing that frightens me more.
It sometimes gets to the point where I hide feelings and thoughts, ideas and decisions. Why do people do that? I wouldn’t ever judge anyone based on their decisions without even knowing them. Everybody has their own reasons. Like me, right?
People just make me mad. Anybody feel the same?
Feeling fed up,
PURPLEPAIN
Hello, I am a 18 years old girl. I have no idea why I am sharing my life story here. All I know is that I want to tell somebody about this but I can’t say this to the people I know. So please don’t mind my probably too long-winded post.
I say I can’t speak but I do have a voice. It’s just that I can’t speak loud enough for people to hear me. I have no idea why but I get really nervous and tense with people I’m  not that close with -even with my classmates. My heart beats really fast, I couldn’t breath […]
I can sleep for days. Suicidal and depressed human minds do tend to sleep a lot. if only can manipulate that into practice of lucid dreaming. you’d kill yourself if that’s what you wanted. and then open your eyes. perhaps this is why I’m still around.
Ever wish that one day something would happen. Something bad. Like a car crash, being murdered, a heart attack anything that would kill you. So you yourself wouldnt have to commit the deed of killing yourself. Sometimes i just want to be gone i just want to quit life and be for ever at rest. I really dont know if im cut of for this “life” thing. Sometimes i just wish…
No but really I’m having the worst anxiety attack right now. And to add to it my mother wants to come into the session with me so she can meet the doctor. Now, I don’t have a problem with that because that’s what we’ve normally done for the past 4 crazy doctors, I just hope she isn’t going to make me out to be a basket case that needs to be seen every day…since, well, I am getting worse.
Sorry, I just don’t know what to do anymore. It gets to the point where you’re fucked over one too many times and they say “keep your head […]
I tried hanging myself with a shoelace just now. I wasn’t off the ground, it was tied around my door handle and the other end my neck while I sat on the ground. I’ve even seen a successful video on this being done and I don’t understand why mine wasn’t successful. Anyway, I could barely breathe and I could feel myself getting lightheaded and my ears even felt weird like almost numb, but I sat there for a very long ass time and did not pass out or die. Wth! Can anyone explain why this could have failed? It was not bc I didn’t wait […]
I was just wondering what people’s thoughts are on having depression and a partner’s appropriate response to it? I get that different people have difference experiences, backgrounds, beliefs etc….
But a recurring theme in my life at the moment is that when someone gets low, or diagnosed, or suicidal, their partner ups and leaves without a word. The only explanation they give is because they cant handle the situation. This happened to me after two weeks of me telling him I was suicidal; it took him only that long to run. A similar thing happened to my sister.
Anyhow, I was just wondering about whether people […]
It just won’t. A devoted partner, a caring parent, a sympathetic friend or hell even the purest love of all, the love of a dog, won’t save you.
Suicide, or at least the suicide I know, is like drowning in the ocean. Love is like someone on the shore praying for you. It may give you a moment’s satisfaction to know that someone is worrying about you, but in the end the only thing that can save you is if something physically drags you out of the ocean.
Love doesn’t do that. Love can soothe you, distract you, make you feel like you have a purpose, maybe […]
Hello everyone
Im Shianna and I’ve been bullied since I was 10
It started in 4th grade
At the beginning I had lots of friends I was always to popular girl I would always bring in snacks for everyone and I loved school.
Well somewhere in 4th grade I started gaining crazy weight I weighed 178
Remember a 10 year old weighing that is really dangerous so my doctor gave me pills and more pills. But they didn’t help
At all. 4Th grade was over I was in 5th now and III t was around my 11th birthday
When I walked pass a group of boys […]
why
are you?
why
do you care?
your delusions
are what’s normal
my insanity
is the truth
the truth
that you are
bullshit
that your life
means nothing
that my life
means nothing
i split my knuckle
it hurts
see that’s it
it hurts
and then it doesn’t
but then it hurts
again
and again
stop healing
stop maintaining
stop rejoicing
stop socializing
stop protecting yourself
take off your clothes
pull out your hair
walk to the water
submersion
sink to the bottom
and never come back up
never come back up
Hello everyone I know you are all battling your own wars..here nobody aint got time for me to listen to me or counsel me for my suicidal thoughts are just increasing manifolds……i seriously aint in the humour to write I am 18,India and right now I’m high and i got the rope ready I just wanted everyone to know that yes i was defeated everywhere its not because of u krati u were my first love and i want to die with her being my last its all coz of me myself i cant survive i aint strong enough i am not the one maybe […]
tomorrow is the day im hoping and dreading. i have another dr appointment, but it could be all or nothing. if im lucky he will find out what is wrong with my back and i will be cured both physically and mentally. if not then i have to tell my wife i cant adhere to my no self harm contract. seven years of back pain that causes immobility and prevemts me from being human is too much. i cant truly take care f myself and i am “smart” enough to know that i cant take care of any family i may have in the futue. […]
“We’re all alive just not fully, we’re all just…Undead“
 ~UnknownÂ
Im becomming more n more obsessed with death. It knocks on my minds door. Inviting itself in. Before i would ignore the knocks but know i dont care.
I guess, since this is my first post on here, I should tell you all my story.
at age 9 I was oblivious. I was overweight, friendless, but still happy.
at age 10 I started to worry. I was fat as hell, still friendless, but just slightly less than happy.
at age 11 I knew I was a goner. still fat and friendless and I didn’t know what to do about it. I wasn’t happy anymore.
at age 12 I had my first ED thought. I had one friend, and she was my goal. 80 pounds and beautiful. I thought that maybe, just maybe, by losing weight my everlasting […]
Love me Sweet, with all thou art,
Feeling, thinking, seeing;
Love me in the lightest part,
Love me in full being.
II
Love me with thine open youth
In its frank surrender;
With the vowing of thy mouth,
With its silence tender.
III
Love me with thine azure eyes,
Made for earnest grantings;
Taking colour from the skies,
Can Heaven’s truth be wanting?
IV
Love me with their lids, that fall
Snow-like at first meeting;
Love me with thine heart, that all
Neighbours then see beating.
V
Love me with thine hand stretched out
Freely — open-minded:
Love me with thy loitering foot, —
Hearing one behind it.
VI
Love me with thy voice, that […]