Each day I slip further and further into the pits of hell. I am physically living but feel as if I walk around this universe as a ghost no one can see me no one can hear me just me and my thoughts. I was a victim of child abuse like many others. I started getting teased and picked on in 1 grade and every day and year after because I was always a little bigger. I was put down so much I never knew how to love myself. As I got older I looked and looked for that love never found it.
When I […]
Where to begin, i know you read tons of those stories and thinking everyone you read is the same but it isn’t, story is what happen to me. when i was 7 everyone made fun of how i talk and looked.i was feeling lost in the world. I was bullied everyday and i got pushed off a play structure and i black out. I have blackouts tons of times, i never tell anybody because all my life my siblings always had me to tell my parents i did what ever was broking or missing so i got tired of trying to tell the […]
… registered here. So far hasn’t been so bad other than that cluster fuck that caused me to register in the first place. See, we can all be kind to each other when we want to. Maybe, maybe it’s just my inability to get pissed off anymore that I wonder why others get so mad over silly things so easily. But I do appreciate the hospitality you all have shown me since I announced my pressence here on SP. Good Vibrations to you all, and may you be able to wade through the shit in your lives and travel the extreme dissonance you need to trek through to have a better life. […]
Drunken Religion:
On the off chance the inspiration in me
Is genuine and not a result of the chemical mix within me
I present myself to the universe whole
And request forgiveness for the sin that breeds beauty within me when I can’t feel my soul
My inhibitions turn up dead
Life is crazy and I can’t decide whether God only exists in my head
False bravado is the solution when
Cheap vodka is my only friend
The love of my life passed me by tonight
In the dark in the wee hours of graduation night
At first I wasn’t sure it was her and […]
Hi everyone don’t mean to boast but I’m still alive. Lets all make it through at least one more day. I promise I will. Thanks for everyone who has helped with kind words. I’m in a better position today than I was even a couple months ago. Dont mean to brag just wanna say thanks to anyone who says kind or helpful words.
What in the -Before I get into this, be warned, I am very vulgar- endless cosmic cluster fuck happened to SP? I mean, seriously? It seems after the visual change everyone just kinda changed into argumentative assholes. Well not everyone, but anyway, it seems as though this place has turned into a war zone. It usually hasn’t been like this (Since I found this site a few months ago), except for a few disagreements here and there. But it almost never got like this. But alas, fighting is in human nature. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention; Like I said before, I found this site months ago and […]
I’m sooo scared to go back to therapy.. I don’t want to but my parents are making me! I was in therapy for 2.5 YEARS and it didn’t do anything! Honestly my church has done 100% more in 1.5 YEARS than therapy ever did. It’s annoying, makes the depression even worse, and honestly I haven’t even been feeling depressed lately… sorry for those of you who are not into Christianity (DO NOT GIVE ME CRAP FOR IT PLEASE).. I’ve gotten more involved with the church, gotten involved in outreaches, and might even be going on a mission trip to Mexico in August. I’m finally happy […]
Ever since I was little I would write letters to the people in my family who had died. I write my dead cousin alot. I tell how much I hate living. I tell her how much I hate my life, how my mother picks my sister over me. I told her about my trip to the suicide ward. Its strange how just writing it down can make it feel better. I wrote to her yesterday about how I have a plan to kill my self and I have a note writen out just for when they find me. I write to her because she is […]
Why do some people–I’ve noticed it a lot on this site–call one a troll if you say something that upsets their feelings, no matter how truthful and factual you are being?
Essentially it goes like this:
Person A is debating Person B. Â Person A says something Person B gets upset by. Â Person C interjects and agrees with Person A. Â Person B says Person A is also Person C and a troll.
So the logic is … everyone who agrees with Person A is Person A.
Do you think this line […]
Hello….
It’s been a little while
Since I’ve last asked myself
The question
How am I?
Well how am I?
I’m doing okay.
I’m not good
But I’m not bad
A few days ago
I got to talk about
My life
To someone that cared
And listened
They asked me
“How is your life?”
And I, of course, replied with
“No, how are you?”
But what surprised me
Is then they said
“That’s not the point of the question,”
I’ve been busying myself more
If I’m bored I’ll watch YouTube videos
Or I’ll do a mini project
Like today I rearranged my room
It took a while
Maybe […]
Wonderful?
I have heard a lot of complaining lately about the people on this site. I think, however, that you are all wonderful… Yes, even the people who have vented their frustrations about SP (I am sorry it isn’t as helpful to you as it once was). This world has dealt you some heavy blows, and for that I am sorry. I know that you are here to vent, or to seek support, or to share, or to help, or whatever the case may be. You’re reason for being here doesn’t matter to me, nor does the way you choose to express yourself. I value […]
The beginning  of January I became depressed at first i didn’t think i was i thought it was because i didn’t believe it, i went to talk to someone nd i got some medication and it worked for a month until i had lost control, my step dad was in a metal worker so he knows what to do but when i feel depress try everything i can to find ways to kill myself. I look at my siblings and want to be them. I wanted to die but now i want to get better
So I told my psychiatrist about my overdose a couple weeks ago; they now know of three of my suicide attempts. And each time they haven’t done squat to help me. Yet again I was told of  the dangers it can cause my liver and all that, he asked my how likely it was that I’d try again. I said there’s a 50/50 chance I would. So I was basically telling her that I probably, almost more than certain would do it again. So what did she do? Tell my mum what happened and tell her to remove all medication from the house; […]
I was here and then I left, hoping something had changed that didn’t.
Now I’m back and I just don’t know what to say anymore.
Third time’s the charm, though. For better or worse, something is going to happen this time around.
So hi guys.
Would anyone mind talking a while?
We’re finished unless this man comes into power? I just long for this man to be in power. I’m sick of leftism, feminism, abortion and all sorts of horrors. I believe we can make our country great again. I’ve been making plans for him and I just want him to be happy in his world. It’s all that I fucking ask for, I don’t want much in life
Why are people here so lacking compassion, and so illogical too? Â They don’t seem to understand the importance of questioning people who’re suicidal. Â It appears to me like many on here actually want people to commit suicide. Â I’m very disappointed, as I thought this site would be a comfort to me.
Does anybody else confuse dreams for reality?
I find that most of the time I remember the things that actually happened as if they were dreams- blurry and confusing- while I can remember dreams much more perfectly-as if they were real.
Sometimes it take me a few hours to realize that everything I dreamt wasn’t real, and I get mad a people for things they actually didn’t do.
Being at home became far too painful. It’s an excruciating thing to watch the home life the brought you up for sixteen years, that was your safe place – rot away in front of your very own eyes. And I did what I’m best at – I pushed it away. I didn’t let it defeat me, I refused to let it drag me down.
I would wake at 5 AM just to get some peace from the chaos. I would leave my house for school at 5:30 AM and would walk – along the edge of the cliffs, along the beach for hours on the […]
im a 15 year old boy. yea before i continue i know im young for this kind of stuff. but to the point i hate my life. i always put asid my need to help someone else and get nothing for that. ive watched my best friends die right infront of my eyes. and i still blame myself of there deaths. i lost the love of my life. to my friend… and i just feel like.nobody cares. i hate my life. ive run away from home 8 times. longest ive been.gone is near a year. and ive ettempted suicid. many. many times. i just feel […]