I did not end it last night I was moments away for it but thats down to two people my mother and a comment left on a post here. Yes i still got no hope I still want to die but I was in a very dark place yesterday. And if it was not for that post and my mother coming into my room and hugging me saying “I know your in pain but I love you and you can get through this” it almost broke my heart I can’t remember the last time she did that. so I’m going to try again for her. […]

Hi…

I’ve decided to end it all on Friday,as you saw from the title…Been struggling with severe depression and bipolar disorder for 2 years now…Nobody cares now and nobody will care when I’m gone either,so I figured out that I will be happier in the afterlife(if there is one) more than I am now…I don’t want to hear any of that ”it will get better” crap from anyone,since it will not.I also have a serious vision illness that will at some point let me completely blind.Right now I see kind of good,but my vision will at some point just stop,and there is no cure or surgery […]

Like a creature, my nails suddenly grown long.
Parasecting the crystal, the nug. Digging the inner.
I guess Parasect is my second pokemon, then.
I saw it in the manga, and it’s wizard mushroom cap.
How about that… The alchemist pokemon.
My dream, is to catch ….. Now, to take over the world.

Spiraling down. Down to the muk card. What of essence.
Oh, the humanity. What of, is this mankind. Who would of let, to become.
Ash would say, and the other heroes.
Tauros, of the silver bone. Evolved in dire sake, a bullet in it’s body.
The day; the stories. The fights. All there […]

that little girl
she was so naive
didn’t know what life was
so sheltered as a kid
she forced herself
to learn alone
she made friends
some lied
some cried
some died
some succeeded
some failed
she was alone
she had to reach again..

where is that little girl?
shes had some growing up to do
grown up decisions led to adult consequences
she just didn’t learn
she tried so hard
she caved
she lit the lighter and inhaled
knowing the damage
4 months later she lost herself
her baby passed
and she cried

where oh where is the naive little girl?
she lifted up the clouds […]

i am not going to argue with anyone but all i am saying is. its kinda hard to be suicidal when you ve got life from the fist class

i ve finally resolved that staying alive has to be done in a better way and hiding and living under peoples shado isnt any way to live

I am I the only who is scared that the world might end soon?

All of the signs are literally happening and I think everyone is scared to accept it, including me.

I need to know that I am not the only one seeing this happen right before my eyes…

Everyday is just so gloomy…i think for everybody. I feel like this zombie mode that everyone is in is just “the calming before the storm”

Everything is falling apart.

I thought that things would change- this was supposed to be the best time of my life. This was supposed to be the time that, years from now, I look to and remember memories of joy, and happiness.

But it’s really not turning out like that.

To achieve this one goal of my life, I let go of many other things. I thought that, after getting to this goal, everything would fall into place. But in fact, the situation just got worse. After what seemed like the happiest day in a long time, every. single. thing. went downhill.

I used to maintain a sense of […]

Isn’t it funny how I’m breaking to pieces, crying every night, cutting, puking, hating, dying, but no one notices. Not my parents, not my friends and not my siblings even though they ALL now how I feel, that I’m depressed, that I cut and that I have an eating disorder but, they all think I’m better and fine now. It’s like no one notices me. No one pays attention even though I can be so obvious. I’ve been depressed since I was 11. Wake up. I’m 15 now and no one has realized that I’m still the same. No wait that’s a lie. A teacher […]

Click.
Send Message.
DELETE.

Why do you do that? Why can’t you send a simple message asking for help? You need it and you know it. Why is it so difficult to ask for help? To reach out? Why is there such shame in asking for help that could mean life or death? I’m not afraid to ask for help. Truth? I hate being a burden. It’s not easy dealing with someone who is depressed and suicidal. We all know it. By reaching out, I am taking up valuable time in someone’s day. I’m taking up resources. Man, why am I such a screw up? Can’t […]

When you lock the door.
And you know you’re your own company.
Freedom is a locked room.

i kept telling myself that if i got sober all my relationship problems would change. And they did… but not the way I wanted them too. Now that I have relapsed its even worse than before. The arguments the fist fights…. it’s all back ten fold. And now that i rebuilt relationships with my mom and sisters I don’t necessarily want to die because I don’t want to hurt them but I can’t handle this relationship up and down and pain every day. And at the end of it all it’s all my fault for being a selfish addict and no matter how much I […]

I wish someone, something would kill me immediately.

Alas, no one cares enough to do that.  It is nice that no one cares to pretend, but that would be the clincher.  If no one will let you escape pain, they’d rather have you suffer for their own sake, they don’t truly care.  They cannot truly care.

I don’t want to hear about plans or whatever God has to say.  None of it matters in the slightest.

I think Uptown and AngeredSoul have left this world for the next. Can we take a moment to pay our respects and celebrate the short lives that thay had here. I know they made an impact on me and I will miss them and keep them in my heart.

You gotta keep the posts up so I don’t worry about you.

does anyone constantly feel like they want to run away, although there is nowhere to run to? feel so lost, like u dont belong in this society, in the world? everyday is just a constant battle not to hop on a bus and run far away from my family. i love them but i cant stand being with them. i cant stand anyone for too long. cant hold a job, have no desires in this world. i want to run away but anywhere i go will just be the same as here. i want to die, but i dont want to kill myself. i just […]