When you truly know and love somebody it can be frustrating watching them throw away all their potential, but this is NOT your problem, it is theirs. You can only express your opinion on the situation; you cannot force it down their throats. This is something they must personally accept and consciously work towards. You forcing your beliefs down their throats is only going to cause resentment and manifest an opposite effect.

The water is clear

But your wrists are stained

Your face says happy

But your eyes say pain.

this has happened once before

the world is closing another door

perhaps tonight

I’ll lose this never ending fight

my wrists will bleed

but done is the deed

I won’t cry this time

my dear, I am not fine

i wish you only knew

what I’ve been going through

don’t you dare pretend you miss me

the hour here is three

and I’m waving goodbye

see you on the flip side

She claimed to be an artist

it wasn’t until two weeks later.

i found her.

Laying on the bathroom floor

crimson red carving on her canvas.

Rivers stain you, rivers are damp

acid stains you, drug ps cause cramps

guns aren’t lawful, nooses give

gas smells awful , might as well live.

A locked door, a rusty razor, a towel stained in red.

A folded note, a broken mirror, and a young girl lays there dead.

Their emotions tangle, the room begins to swirl she was mommy’s little angel

and daddy’a little girl

People can just really screw you over sometimes. Each and every person is capable of being disloyal, dishonest, fake, or cruel. so why take the risk? If there is any possible chance that someone will leave or lie or whatever, why go to them for help?

Youre all you’ve got in the world.

Theres nothing that scares me more than the word “alone”. Whenever I hear this, my heart speeds up a bit. I think that’s my biggest fear: being alone. But I am. I can’t trust anyone but myself. And I can’t even trust myself in some situations. It’s terrifying. I am unpredictable. And maybe that […]

I think about it all the fucking time. It would be easy to end the pain, suffering, and self hate that I feel daily. No more depression. No more cutting. Just ignorant bliss. I don’t know what will happen but I do know it would be better than the misery I live now. I can’t live with myself. I am “living” in a constant hell and it’s killing me; it’s actually slowly driving me insane. So the question is how will I do it? There are so many different options; hanging, suffocation, drowning, slitting my wrists, overdose, jumping, electrocution and so much more. I’ve written […]

I don’t even know WHAT to feel. Much less HOW I feel

if I committed suicide…

I wonder how many

gasps,

cries,

screams,

tears,

or words will be spoken as a sign of love.

But them I remembered…

It’s 2:30 am and I’m

alone,

tired,

scared,

sore,

and silently screaming for help no one really

notices,

cares,

thinks,

shows any sort of affection.

if I commit suicide…

please don’t say you

loved me,

missed me,

cared for me ,

or found beauty within me,

or I should’ve tried harder.

Because […]

ever have those days where you don’t even know what to post, or what to ask for? you just kinda wanna button-mash and be done with it? well…

alg ;fj;aedaog;hhvgoihareh’po9u)(*^*%&KH;iohj;oiyauehiaf.

yeah

So let’s pretend that the pain I feel everyday is nothing.

Let’s make believe that life is totally perfect, and I’ve never been hurt.

And let’s laugh like our lives aren’t totally and completely screwed up.

So basically this is my first post and it’s going to be shitty sorry.

…buuut yeah, my name is Brianna and honestly, I don’t want to be living here on this bullshit planet any longer. I’m tired of getting judged by the music I listento, the clothes I wear, what I look like the next day, and so forth. My life to me is honestly completely useless. I wake up everyday feeling like a mistake, and that I should’ve never been born. I’ve been called names like slut, emo, ****, *****, and been told that no one likes me, I’m depressed all the time, I […]

Alone don’t describe how I feel. Even be married and have kids. Alone inside me is always there. Tears and pain the world don’t see. My hand full of pills for my body to seek. Tired and dizzy May this be the last. Sunshine on a darkest soul. Barely able to get out of bed. My thoughts are my worst enemy. The smile on my face is to hide my troubles. Walk around with no emotions left. Everyday is a brand new breath.

I just need a break. I so long for relief. The diagnoses just continue to pile up. Anorexia, Bulimia, Bipolar Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Schizophrenia, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.  Getting up the simple will to live is an exhausting task. The mood swings, the voices, the weight gain they’re forcing me to have, the constant abandonment of friends and family. They think they have it hard dealing with me. They have no clue. They don’t see my pain, only theirs. I feel given up on. I’ve given up on myself. I don’t want to die, but I just know that I can’t be saved.

Imagine :

your at the beach only you , you walk through the sand and turn to the ocean staring off into the horizon.

you feel this pull towards the ocean so you start walking in;

3ft. Calm cool collected staring at the beautiful sunset

6ft your paddling slowly wading in the water staring at the sunset still.

10ft your getting closer to the sunset seeing its beauty.

14ft you think how your getting back.

17ft you realize you can’t see the shore anymore.

19ft you wanna go back but you can’t you don’t know […]

I didn’t have a childhood; I don’t remember it. I don’t remember anything properly until age 13. I’ve heard stories; trips to disneyland, birthdays, holidays. I don’t remember anything.

When I was 15, a memory came back to me. A series of memories, in flashbacks.

I was four. I remembered all those times you left me alone in the basement; I remember crying so loudly that the neighbours called social services and I almost got taken away. I remembered that time you were on the telephone, screaming to somebody that you were going to kill yourself and me.

The last memory I have is of the day you […]