I’m completely new to all this. I’m not use to throwing my thoughts out into the open because I don’t believe people actually care about what you have to say. I’m a pretty reserved person, doesn’t talk much or engage in social activities. So I’ve decided to turn to this site for all the shit that weighs on me, because I don’t what to do about it anymore. Eighteen years old with no desires or dreams. I find it pathetic. This should the high time; experiencing different things, graduating high school, going to college. Nah, it’s all been ripped away from me. I use to […]

what i just found out.. last night that ..
well like almost a month ago i got rapped.. by my used to be step dad. and then my neightbor was talking to my mom about it last night .
that he could have killed me..
if he didnt want anyone to find out about it.. it breaks my heart. for my mo to live in so much pain alone.. she still cant handle me getting rapped and then if he killed me ?.. my mom will be just left here alone. with no one helping her and her having nothing to do any more. my […]

The golden gates won’t open

The flames won’t bathe the flesh

A bud in bloom

No more than a child

Beaten and abandoned

No life

No haven

No savior

Nothing but a blooming bud without the sun

And blood pours like rain from the sky

With cadavers splayed about the Earth

For God have mercy, let those beings stay in their slumber

And that pitiful bud, bloomed into a great beautiful calamity

If you have nowhere else to turn or need someone to confide in please email me at rsr216@gmail.com

so yeah, its been one long time since ive been on here but yeah, imm still kicking… barely. within the time spent from my previous posts my life has hit an all time low, my recent fuck up has left me with not a single friend honestly, and im not just saying that i have 6 contacts in my phone all of which are family nobody has the ever so slightest inclination to talk to me ive failed two suicide attempts and no longer have the drive to continue whatsoever. i am being bullied so bad i cant put it into words and yet […]

Hello, I’m new to this forum.

Having lived with sucidal ideation for nearly all of my life, and having survived several botched attempts, I have evolved towards a philosophical position that asserts a right to suicide for adults.  It seems that our culture does not fully respect that each of us come in to the world against our will and consequently develop vastly different attitudes towards life. Our will to live is largely dependent on our individual experience, usually from early childhood, as well as whatever neurochemical makeup we may have inherited.

It’s true that many overcome traumatic experiences, but then again many do not. Those who […]

I am in dispare i dont know what to do i just want the pain to stop.

I’m suicidal again and have no one to tell. I feel no point. . . No happiness or sadness really. Wheni have many reasons to be both, but instead I would just rather jump onto some train tracks and be forgotten.

So, I’ll start with some background information.

My name is Sarah, I’m 15, I live in the United States, have a rocky relationship with my parents, have one younger brother, and I’m struggling.

I’m struggling to keep myself alive. I’m struggling to feel confident and accept myself. But I’ve found something to help. Color guard. So what is color guard? It’s a team that spins and throws: 6ft long metal flag poles, solid blocks of wood in the shape of a rifle, and sabers (swords). And yes, it’s a sport.

I’ve been suicidal since I was 10 years old, so that’s a grand total of 5 years. I […]

http://www.cnn.com/2014/02/16/us/snake-salvation-pastor-bite/

A pastor died recently from a poisonous snake bite. He believed that if you are “anointed by God” you can handle deadly serpents without getting hurt. Adherents to this faith draw their inspiration from  a passage in the Bible. Mark 16: 17-18 “And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name they shall cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues. They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing , it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover”.

After the pastor was bitten he refused medical treatment. He’d been bitten […]

If I have good qualities, then how come no one wants to be my friend?  :'(

I feel like I’m a failure.  My life is a complete mess in every way.  I have no friends.  I don’t have family.  I don’t have a job and therefore have no money.  I have health problems and most certainly have loads mental issues dealing with life (loneliness, depression, jaded about life, lack of motivation, etc etc).

My life is such a mess.  And I don’t believe in myself anymore.  I don’t believe in myself in large because I don’t have a reason to go on.  And also because  I feel like my life is a series of mistakes, not just mistakes but mistakes that alter […]

Ok so apparently selfish because idont kowhow  stop self h arming….. seriously give up :'(

I thought moving away from my problems would make everything better. Moving away was always my go to option if things got too bad, and they did, and now I’m worse off than I was before. What the hell is that? My life is the best it’s ever been and I can’t enjoy. I should be happy. Why aren’t I happy? Why don’t I feel like appointments with a psychologist are doing anything? For the amount of feelings I have they confuse the crap out of me. I wish I could stop caring, but I can’t, and that sucks. I’m so unappreciative, so many people […]

I suppose this is one of my main reasons as to why I want to kill myself. About seven years ago I came to the realization that everything that I perceive as real could just be a creation of my mind, with no way of proving or disproving it. Because of this, I haven’t had any will to live in nearly a decade. I am convinced that this will sooner or later be the death of me, after all, it eliminates any guilt about committing suicide, as well as any fear of death or dying. This way of thinking has affected me so drastically that […]

Even since I finished school I wasn’t sure what I wanted to study… Am I supposed to know at age 16 what I want to do for the rest of my life??? What I’m good for??  In the last ten years since I graduated from High School, I’ve pursued more careers that most people in their live do: Law School (twice), Culinary arts, Graphical Design (twice), Vet School, Commercial Aviation, etc… And being a failure on all of them, until I pursued Hotel & Restaurant Management, and everything seemed to go extremely well, good grades, with not so many Relapses on Depression, self-harm and Voluntary […]

about a week back i was so stressed and bugged out i couldnt remember my password for shit and i needed to vent bad. i couldnt though bcuz of a fuckm password. all this resulted in was me getting more and more worked up. i tried resetting by going through the steps but every second felt as though an entire life went by and i couldnt get the thought of making my life actually end. i didnt want to be here anymore. instead of coming here i went online to look at different ways to commit suicide and watch videos of others committing the act. […]

death I don’t fear life is a pain ive dragged on too long death I think I almost embrace it like its not something to be scared of I just wanna wrap my arms around it cause its a part of life I wouldn’t be missed so why not sped up the process and help death realize its dream to just kill me cause if it doesn’t I will kill myself like whats the point if u have no one every walks out of your life at the time u need it the most im tired of all the pain im afflicted by it hurts […]

Why do people seem to give so much of a shit about whether or not a person they care about cares about them too?  If someone doesn’t care about you, fuck ’em and find someone who will!  Or get a dog…

It’s 2 AM now in chile.. I just can’t sleep, these days I’ve haven’t sleep well. I noticed that I’ve been on 4 differents schools in the last 3 years.. and the last year and a half had made me the person I am. I just don’t get why i’m empty inside.. why smile its becoming harder or why I feel like I’m going mad.. I just can’t tell anybody what’s happening with me.. im just stucked in the centre of my life drawning my tears and showing me happy as usual am I.. nobody suspects that something is happening
I’m scared of keep like […]