i really hate that feeling in november when you remember that thanksgiving and christmas are right around the corner again n u have to be around ur family n pretend to get along with them n be merry and wear a fake smile. i just wish there was someone i could be with on the holidays to avoid family members with and just not give a shit about other people. Normally i dont mind being single but when it comes to the holidays i wish i had someone to b with so we could be alone together n at least for a litle while not […]
so, where do i start.what defines me is not where ive been or what ive done; at any second who you are can change. with the passage of time nothing remains the same. And it seems ridiculous to say i dont know who i am, and really i dont. I someday wonder if someone can truly know who they are. or maybe a self identity is never established and people just grow comfortable with there surrounds and are like, meh fuck it.
i often picture the moment of self realization to be played out like a movie, where the sun shines to brightly over the top […]
I haven’t gone to school recently and everyone thinks it’s becasue I’m ill yes I’m ill just not sick my depression is starting to gy the better of me and I can’t even focus at school and yesterday my friends were talking about self harm and depression and stuff an I got angry becasue thy thought they knew it all and I said You don’t know what depression is like unless you have been through it an I don’t want to talk to anyone and people on this site are making it worse they think they know better but they don’t ! I feel so […]
Help me
I’m breaking. I don’t know what to do. I’m so used to picking up my own pieces, to putting myself back together again. I’ve never had emotional support. I go to a psychiatrist, but even she doesn’t seem to know how to help me. I talk to my dad probably once a week, even when I was at home. Now I’m 17, a senior in highschool and 20 hours away from my friends and “family”.
I can’t do it anymore. I cut again today, it was the first time I’ve cut in about  a year.
I don’t know what to do. My brain won’t stop, I’m […]
I fucking hate my life so much. After I graduated high school I haven’t figured out what I want to do yet…. everything is so boring to me , whats the point of working,working,working,then dying? my high school years were a mess, everyone picked on me, even the teachers… one of them asked if I was retarded. I fell in love with my best friend and she only saw me as a friend and nothing more… I stopped talking to her and my whole body felt pain for one year straight, my heart was burning non stop. I got a good paying job but i […]
Rapid brain syndrome…..
My family hates me so much and its getting to me more than ever. All of the people I was stupid enough to trust are hating me again which happens every time I trust people and my family are just being horrid. I know it doesn’t sound like anything horrible or bad but today I was doing homework in my room and I went out to get a drink only to find my two little brothers and mum standing there laughing in front of a freshly set up Christmas tree and fully decorated house and my mum said to them “See what a great job […]
There’s a darkness and it’s consuming me
constricting my body, I can hardly breathe
As I slip deeper
the hole I’ve fallen into gets steeper
I’m exhausted
the people around me can’t be trusted
I’m awake
but the world I’m living in is fake
I don’t care
this life is too much to bear
I’m drowning
my heart is pounding
I want to let go
death is less than a stone’s throw
The lies I’ve lived
they’re all I have to give
The knife is all I hold
as my body begins to grow cold
My favorite color is red
red, the color I bled
I’ll never be able to tell her how I feel,
How angry she makes me, how much I hate her. How much I want her, how much I need her.She’ll never know how she ruined me, how she broke me when she left.
There’s so much anger inside of me, so much pain, and I can’t get rid of it. No matter what I do I can’t get rid of it, and nothing’s helping. More than anything I want to scream at her, scream at her at the top of my lungs and tell her what she did to me. The worst part is that at the same […]
Am I dreaming? Or maybe… No, this can’t be happening! This obscurity, this obscurity that invades my soul and body, it appears not to be real.
Its cold, my body freezes over, resisting to perish this way. It has become almost impossible to breath, I feel as if my chest was bleeding at a slow pace. I’m wounded, my blood, it freezes as it slides over my extremities. I want to rise, run from this place, find an exit… but my legs do not respond.
Stranded in an immense obscurity it difficult me to observe a hint of light, a flash mattering not how insignificant it might […]
This is for people who planned to die very near future?
I am planning a meet for all of that kind. All you has to do prepare a presentation on ” my experiences on this planet earth”
It should address
1. Most important sentient beings you met
2. The books you read, your perception about it
3. The places you visited, your views on them
4. Will you suggest another species to live on this planet?
5. Out of 10, your rating for living on this planet?
Send me presentations, this conference would be first of its kind in human history.
**Volunteers can join hands with me
And she closed her eyes waiting that her last moments slip from her grasp.
Yesterday was my birthday. I spent it alone drinking, and fighting with my only friend who now refuses to speak to me.
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I hate my family. They torture me. I have zero reason to stay here anymore.
No one cares enough in this world to make any difference for me.
I would like a gun but I only have a rope. I chickened out last night but, Tonight’s the Night.
Thank you for everything. You all will be in my last thoughts.
You’re all beautiful. Even if u don’t think u r, I do. I will gladly chat with u, even if it’s only a little while, I will. 248-639-3200 they say never talk to strangers but if u never do then how can u grow as a person? Please only text.
I look in the mirror and stand in distaste.
I’m overweight
with such a beautiful face.
Some call me a “fatass”
and my heart just breaks.
If only they knew me
past the fat and their hate.
They don’t know that I try everyday.
I run miles and diet to try lose all the weight.
It’s a hard and slow process in which I can’t just speed up.
This is the reason I hate myself.
The weight that holds me down.
But farther than needed be.
You can call me fat,
or just call me “Emily.”
Feel like im finaly loosing my mind for good. Idk if I am coming or going anymore. Starting to feel so devastated an in so much mental anquish. Everything that you have done to me is replaying over and over n my mind like a video on repeat. That night I was drinking is weighing heavily on me lately the night u smacked me in the face and I got angry and left with someone who had sex with me while I was passed out. When you found out you wanted to beat the shit out of me and told me it was my fault […]
well it appeared that things were gunna get better and that i just may have gotten a break. i met the most wonderful beautiful girl ive ever seen. she loved me for me not my fake side, she loved my dark side and she just made me so happy. i stop cutting i thought man this is it finally my break but well life always finds new ways to shit on your parade right? her mom found out about us dating and well she didnt quite approve of that. shes no longer allowed to talk to me or see me all contact i have with […]
Tylenol, Advil, Midol… which one will help ease the pain? They say death is peaceful, and that theres a heaven, but what of theres not? What if once your dead, there’s nothing? What if deaths not the easy way out, but the road that leads to no where? As I sit here, I need to know the answer, because I don’t want to die unless its worth it. I don’t know if suicide is selfish or the only option, but i’m so sick of life. I’m fat, i’m ugly, i’m stupid, i’m a coward.. when will this voice in my head go away? I just […]
I can’t stand to live this way anymore, I want to reach the top of the hill but its like I’m walking in quicksand. Tonight, like many others nights has taken it’s toll on me, mentally and even more physically. I work daily, function properly in a social capacity, but lack love for myself combined with an overactive mind just makes me sink further. I see people I aspire to be like, things I would like to have, goals I want to achieve, but see no possible way to better myself while feeling so alone. I’m embarrassed to walk around with my emotional baggage for everyone to see, but no one cares. It […]
I want to live
Make my life something worthwhile to give
I want to fly
Leave the life I’ve lived behind
I want to cry
Let the bad memories die
I want to go somewhere
Leave my old home bare
I want to find someone
Someone who won’t leave me alone
I want to say goodbye
And give living life a try