i think tonight just might be the night i leave this hell hole that people call life im sick of it it has nothing left in it

First off, hello. I’ve lurked this forum for a while but never really thought to join until now. I’ve been feeling completely drained lately, as if just living my life has taken everything from me, and it has gotten to the point where all I can think about is what a failure I am.  My grades are starting to slip again after exerting so much effort to bring them up, my emotional state continues to deteriorate and my social anxiety has gotten so bad that, other than attending school and occasionally leaving the house to buy necessities, I’ve become a full blown shut in. I’ve […]

For an English 102 Research Project

I just finished this college for my English 102 research project, tell me what you think! The people on the right represent society, and they are saying people should be “happy, alive, and sensible.” The girl smiling on the bottom represents a mentally ill person. She is smiling to try and conform to society and make people believe she is okay, but to the left you can see what is really going on in her […]

The best part of my day is when I fall asleep, oh the peace of that darkness.
I am tired of the waking hours, endless days of be glad I’m alive, of being kind to others and forgiving myself. Being awake is the confrontation of my complete isolation, lack of any pleasure from the normal slavery of life – work, partners, friends. I’m awake but crushed, ground down, exhausted and abused by the rotten evil called life.
It’s not a dream, a joy, a celebration but rather the agony of a promise made and never kept, constantly betrayed.
Those lies of polities, religion, money, love, […]

Walking around and seeing all the American girlies just being happy while the Third World is suffering fills me with disgust. Oblivious to the plight of our civilization, they just keep getting in their limos, laughing at all the calamities. I sincerely hope they will get their comeuppance, their lesson. It fills me with sadness and doubt. No more of this. They are so nice, and yet so artificial. So shallow. For that sheer fact, I do know it is the right thing to do to depart from this wretched civilization. As a form of individual protest. I wish you all well.

I can’t do this anymore…

Please… whatever I may do… whichever path I might take… Please… have mercy on my soul…

I feel like ranting. I’ve been a user of this site for quite a while–at least a year or two, yet I rarely post or comment. This is a good place to get something off of your chest and to relate and help others out. I’m no different from anyone here. Here’s my story.

Just like a lot of people on this site, I’ve dealt with emotional abuse. It was mainly from my peers growing up. I grew up in a rough neighborhood and was bullied for ‘acting white’ despite being black. I wore glasses, lame clothes and read and drew stuff all the time. I […]

In April, my fiance was diagonosed with HIV
Since then, I’ve watched him deteriorate…… fast. We’ve broken up a few times because a times, the stress got way too much for both of us.
In August, he was admitted to the hospital for an infection in his bowels and stomach. It then spread to his lungs and kidneys.
In October, he was transferred to a hospital 2 hours away. I don’t drive and have no income so I’ve seen him twice in that time. And of course it makes me feel like absolute shit.
2 weeks ago, he flat lined after a blood transfusion that […]

its painful after you cut, it hurts painfully. i wanted to stop my sister from hurting me but if i even stand up for myself she will cut into me so much deeper then she would and then i wont stand a chance if i get cut deeper, i want to stay alive because i have a boiyfriend and friends but im terrifried of fighting for it because she will tell my dad and then i will get beaten again i hate life but i have so much to live for .

What if you can’t make a relationship to save your life unless they are paid to do so. Do you really have to be depressed, is that really the only reason why people contemplate suicide? What if not a single relationship, and there are few, even a friendship, and there are few, you were responsible for destroying. What if in every attempt one tries to create a relationship at the most simplest level you mess things up, and not purposefully, in the end, people simple do not like being around you. And after many many years, alone and still dreaming, the only relationship is paid […]

One last chance to say goodbye

One last chance to slice the knife

Once last chance is all I need

To show myself what I mean to thee

One drop of dew doth fall on my head

As I lay on the ground, withered and dead

The simple things that mattered the most

Do not matter now.

Oh how quickly life fades away

In the blink of an eye the night evades the day

The simple things that we held so dear

No longer there.

Here I lay underground

The earth on top and all around

My mind still spinning even after ive gone

Of all the things that I did wrong.

Once last chance to say goodbye

Before I go and […]

So many people here are depressed, they don’t feel, or feel nothing but pain. But it gets better.
I have never been depressed, but all my life I have been around the clinically depressed. This has been, well, depressing, but it has also taught me something
Being depressed isn’t a choice, but getting better is. Just hold on
Many here wish for death, but there is a whole world out there waiting.
Get help.
So many here are young. Talk to your […]

Why is this so alluring?
The sting of a blades sharp edge?
Aren’t most people afraid of the pain
The cut sends to their head?
Why am I so different?
why can’t I stay away?
Why is it that I find my self slipping
The blade cross my arm everyday?
Is it because I’m broken and that I need to be repaired?
Is it because I’m lost, alone, depressed and scared?
Is it because the chemicals in my head aren’t set
Or because my life has sucked downright
Or maybe because I’ve seen no light for many years all passed?
Regardless, I slide this blade […]

How to delete this account?

Off the topics of depression, and suicide, and all these other things, I have a question. I’m rather new here, and it seems to say some of my comments are in moderation for a very long time, often longer than most other “pending comments”. And I was just curious as to why that was, and who moderates comments on here.
Thanks, bye.

“Psychologically, it becomes painful to witness someone losing interest in you, knowing that there’s nothing you can do to change it.”

~Unknown

No one loves me and i cant do anything right. i am a failure at life and i should just give up. My life should be over and there is no reason that I should continue it. I should just end it now and save everyone the trouble of ever knowing me. I am detrimental to everyone I meet.

I am a breeder of chaos and an advocate of pain. I am the fury that drives the night. I am a bringer of darkness. I am a spawn of satan. You should kill me now while you have the chance. I am a devil on the […]

well, im outta here! idk wen ill be back, but i hope to talk to u soon and cant wait to see all of ur guys accomplishments

I found this site awhile ago when I was having a really bad time. ive always wanted to post something but its nerve wracking. i dont feel like i deserve being happy. even typing these words i feel ashamed because ive seen so many people have things worse than i do. i go to a university and am studying well. not the best grades but not the worst. i just feel like nothing matters. i have these opportunities but i just feel stupid and alone. i had a really bad time earlier in my life and thought about ending things. i cut myself and still […]

whre is she?! i dont exactly remember her user, but seh has been MIA for about three or four days. oim getting concerned… please help me find her… N O O M… id appreciate u going out to Deutschland and seeing her for a bit?? u r the closest person i know…

anybody around my area?? i really need a friend right now… it would be lovely to see a face that has the same turmoils as me…. the same thoughts? or even the same ideas? anything will do… i just need u, and u need me..