So I think it’s coming to a point where I really need to commit to a decision or I’ll be in hell for the next 60 years.  In my mind it’s either hang myself or buy a shotgun and shoot my head off.  Which would you personally choose and why?  I’m going to sleep now but I’ll read the answers tomorrow if I remember.  Hope you guys are doing better than I.

When I look into the mirror,

I don’t like what I see

All these expressions playing across my face,

“who is that looking back at me?”

All the pain and hurt is masked

by the fake smiles I wear each day

I’m constantly questioning my ability

to keep my emotions at bay

I doubt that anyone has noticed

and that’s all part of my plan

So now I’m left here to wonder

as to how this all began.

I’ve noticed that there’s a lot more people talking about suicide methods now that it’s getting darker and colder. I, feel the same. I can’t very much do anything to help this feeling; I can’t cut because I start cheering in a week. Cheering. Jeez. Never thought I’d hear myself say I’d be doing cheering. Especially in high school. Wow.

Hang in there guys. We can make it through.

I should be studying for my quantitative management exam I have tomorrow morning. I should be applying for internships for the summer. I should be out and laughing with friends. I should snuggling up with my ex-boyfriend. I should be watching Dirty Dancing with my best friend. I should be the happy go- lucky 20 year old that everyone expects me to be. But I’m not. Instead I sit here alone contemplating what my life is really worth.
I’ve always had that side of me that was never happy, and sometimes it would rear its ugly head and tell me how pathetic, worthless, unsuccessful, unattractive, […]

Simply because of the fact you don’t treat me like your daughter. I am your only biological child and yet…
You leave me in the dust. You tell me to just… Go to Bridgeway and get medicine. Go to the hospital. I need your help. You told mom you’d help me so long as I was in school. Well guess what dad! I’m doing my fucking best. Going to school when I’m not sick, working my ass off for shit pay. And for what? To pay for my bills while you go off with your other family for a three week trip to Europe. Oh, […]

I’m never going to get better. I’m never going to break out of this prison. I’m never going to have a future worth living. Every ray of light goes out. Every new window is a false hope. I swear it’s like life is stringing me along, and I don’t think I can live like this anymore. I don’t know if another opportunity to make progress will present itself again. The one I had might be gone, idk, but even if it isn’t I really don’t want to bother trying. I’m tired of being locked inside of my own mind. I’m tired of how much I […]

Please allow me to write some Words in German – because thats the only way I am sure, I can express myself in the most accurat way possible:

Egal wie alleine und einsam ich mir vorkomme. Wenn ich hier einige Gedanken von anderen Menschen lese, dann begreife ich, dass viele in ähnlicher Art und Weise leiden und das gleiche denken. Damit sind wir wenigstens gemeinsam einsam.

Es macht mich sehr traurig, dass es so viel Leid auf der Welt gibt. Leid ist eine subjektive Empfindung, so ist bereits auf Wikipedia zu lesen. Dennoch gibt es Arschlöcher, genannt “Freunde und Familie”, die einem sagen “Kopf hoch.” , “Leben […]

I wish of death.
I hate my life so much.
To much drama at school.
Mom thinks everything’s fine.
I’m getting called a slut and guys are asking me inappropriate questions about sex.
I feel dirty from all the stuff I’ve done over the past year.
I’ve gotten insane.
I’m depressed.
I’m young.
I wish I could just fade.
Fade away.
Fade away into a big, dark hole.
Where I will never be found.
And be alone.
Forever.
No more drama.
No more relationships.
No more bullies.
Just me.
Alone.
Forever.

Why are some comments “pending approval” while others seem to just be instantly posted? I think all of mine were instantly posted, except for one of my last ones that said “pending”. I thought it was because I had included a link with it, but then when I checked the other 4 comments that are currently pending approval, none have links in them.

I feel, like if I died no one would care!! I feel like it put less stress on me and everyone else.  My whole family looks at me like a criminal, and like I’m stupid.  A couple of days ago I did something, kind of dumb, but also explainable, and now everyone thinks I am a criminal, and troubled! It hurts in all sorts of way because I try to be smart, and do the right things usually, and now my dad thinks I am worthless! It just hurts, I’m tired of everyone acting better than me, and making feel down, I honestly don’t want […]

I have this weird urge to randomly smashing my head at random place and time

I am thankful for my misery when it is consistent, because I already do not feel I deserve what I have, and can only see my life getting worse.

Question: what would actually help those who want help with thoughts of self harm who want to deal with them, but not act on them?  G.W.

I live fairly close to a major city, and have been entertaining the idea of using a bridge there. The drop to the water is 228 feet. I have actually read of people jumping off of the Golden Gate Bridge and surviving…lol.

okay um, i need a fucking knife, i give up on this dehydration thing. it is taking so long and i keep accidently drinking with my meds and then i go to purge the water and urgh im just tired of life. i want to stab my boyfriend but i cant cause he is grounded because he went clubbing with a girl who is hard core crushing on him, she is bombing his ask, and why cant he see how much he is hurting me. i wish i could just tell him that i hadnt selfharmed in almost 2 months before we started dating, and […]

Everything in my life is perfect. I have a happy family, I have a step father who treat me like his own daughter, I have a very  great mom who’s always there to give all things that I want. I have a true and perfect friends who are really gorgeous and smart. Who treat me as their family and who is always there for me. They don’t know how  I’m thankful to have them in my life. I’m here not  to commit suicide, I am here to express my feelings about myself. I’m really shy to tell this to my family and friends that’s why […]

When was the last time you were really happy and felt like you wanted to live?

How would one make him/herself terminal? I would like to do something then have like a couple weeks or a month to live so I could just sit around, eat tons of food, and watch movies for a month and then die. Make my last days awesome. Maybe get some sympathy fuckin’.

I can’t live with everyone’s expectations of me. I’ve spent some months taking care of a relative who’d suffered in a road accident. Now the situation is getting better so everyone expects me to return to my PhD and start a great career in science.

To be honest, the only thing I want is to be alone somewhere, stay indoors all the time and sleep.

I can’t read a single book on my research, it makes me sleepy. I can’t babysit my relative + cook and clean for everyone. I lose my patience all the time.

I know many people are in a far worse situation than me. […]