I’m writing this down in the hopes that I will get some clarity. Parts of my story have been jumbled around in my head and maybe this will help bring some order.

A year ago my life was great. I had a live-in girlfriend I loved more than anything and hoped to marry. She was my best friend and when things were good between us, life was perfect. I had a stable, good paying job, a small but strong circle of friends and good ties with my family. I was a police officer for 6 years. I was promoted at 26 and spent the last two […]

I never thought I would consider suicide as an option. If I’m online trying to find reasons not to kill myself, it gives me hope that maybe I don’t really want to die. That sounds weak. I’ve been accused of being weak, and it was spewed at me in a not nice way. I finished reading the last book of a trilogy that was going to become my favorite books of all time. At the end, the lead character dies. It didn’t make sense to me. It still doesn’t. I’m still trying to get it through my head, to process what happened at the end […]

It took me a while to figure out how useless cutting was and how much easier it is go suicide.To get teased and called offensivr names every day, why do I have to life through this? I thought of so many ways to die. I didn’t want my parents to see their daughter outside their backyard or in their room and I didnt want to be on the front cover of a newspaper. I kept staring at bottles. Was it worth it? I lost all the courage that got me here and realized, maybe not today or tomorrow. Its temporary. Please everybody, temporary pain will […]

So I really don’t have any reason to continue living. I don’t believe in God, and think the chances of our conscious dying when we die is very likely. We are our thoughts, so we are our brain, so when our brain dies, we die as our conscious become unconscious. You can’t be aware while unconscious, not of yourself, or anything. That may seem obvious, but many people don’t realize or understand this. So that means that we, in a sense, will no longer exist after we die. Our thoughts will stop, and we are our thoughts, so we stop. There will be no darkness […]

i don’t really know why i am wasting my time writing this.  ultimately, i am probably too big of a coward to actually kill myself.  but i’m just a giant waste of life.  i’m 48, never married, no kids, no real relationships, blew my law career into pieces, work a shitty job, am broke, owe a ton of money, what family i do have is not close and nobody really cares about me anyway.  just absolutely nothing at all going and totally hopeless.  i will never get out of this hole.  i live alone and have totally isolated myself from everybody and everything.  nothing is […]

I do not know what it feels like to be comforted by someone. I do not know what it feels like to be loved, unconditionally, there are always conditions. I have lived my whole life trying to be what others wanted me to be to win their love. This does not work by the way, there is always something not lovable, even likable about me. I have no idea who I am. The only thing I know is that I am easily hurt, I am easily angered and I am never heard. I don’t know if they ‘just don’t hear me,’ like they say, I […]

I wish that when people made promises, that they’d keep them. I didn’t know it was truly that hard. I’m not niave, but I still trust people I really shouldn’t. You know that one person in your life who, no matter how mayny times they break a promise, you’ll still believe them?

Maybe you don’t, but I have a few.

Just keep your goddamned promises.

Sometimes it feels like no one cares. No one wants me here. I hope that’s not true sometimes, but I know it is. And I can’t handle it. What do I do? I want to cut, but if I do, my best friend will be mad. I think I’m going to but everything is exploding in my face, and I can’t stop my life from falling apart. What did I do to deserve this? Am I a mistake? Do I deserve to die?

So the other day, my family and I went out to dinner. My dad is very critical of depression, and somehow it came up. He started going on about suicide. He said that suicide is immature and stupid, and basically that anyone who attempts or does commit suicide, is pathetic basically. And I’ve been struggling with depression, so I feel like if I commit suicide, he’ll just be critical. He doesn’t care. And half my friends hate me because “I’m so freaking stupid and I need to get over everything or kill myself.”

The voices I hear
The things I see that aren’t real
The constant fear of life
The persistent want to die
The ugliness I see in the mirror
The fat I see all over my body
The hands I remember all over me
The nightmares I cannot run from
The family that hurt me and hate me
The people who hurt me when I was young
The people I can’t get out of my life
The little blemishes on the wall
The constant need for perfection in my safe place that I cannot reach
The step father who hates and hurts me
The mother who […]

Maybe its just the Fall…maybe its just the upcoming holidays….who knows….but I am really getting sick of this site….I know I know I can just leave if I felt that way but then again it isn’t the site itself that disgusts me….its all this bullshit being posted lately….Idiots looking for dates, Help with Math homework, People claiming depression over cell phones, People making up outrageous and outlandish “Resurrection” bullshit, people faking their death for laughs, Morons posting shit about steps to correct life  etc etc like its becoming a cesspool of bullshit….I know people can post whatever and that’s fine but that doesn’t mean I […]

So my story. I guess I’ll be blunt about it.

My father committed suicide. I was a baby, the age of two. I have no memory of him. It haunts me daily.

It was the day after his birthday, a day that no one would expect anything to be wrong, and although I’m not completely clear on the story (no one will talk to me about it no matter how much I beg, i actually didn’t know he killed himself until sixth grade.) but from what I’ve gathered, he had had enough, he climbed to the top of our barn, tied a noose around his neck and […]

her fingers itched

the desire pulsed threw them, as if blood seiced to exist and lust was all there was left

maybe that’s why she felt so numb, so dead

she reached out to clutch the icey blade of the knife her mother had used only an hour earlier

as she held her weapon in hand she felt the adrenalin rushing through her viens, soon she would be gone, her memories and sadness and heart ache along

this is what she had wished for for so long

and yet, there was something stopping her

she pushed the unsettling feeling aside,

she slid the sharp surface arcoss her left wrist in one swift motion, […]

Okay, I want the guys on this site to give me some advice.

So, I haven’t talked to this guy in almost a year, I don’t know why we stopped talking, we just did. We were great friends, we both liked each other but we just didn’t do anything about it, he was amazing and sweet and funny and he literally cared about me, at least I think he did. I cared about him too, I still do. Things have happened in my life recently that made me think about him, and made me miss him. I want to talk to him again. I want to […]

Just so you know. I’m Norwegian and Bamse in Norwegian means Teddy. My grandparents had a cat along with Sissi. Bamse was an amazing cat, kinda funny too cause he was missing his two front teeth so his tongue would always stick out a bit. He was a British shorthair cat I think. He’d go hunting at night and sleep all day. He once fell asleep in my lap and he’d make a growling sound if I moved so I had to stay there for about an hour reading. He was put down shortly after Sissi because he refused to eat and never went outside… […]

Now, I want to take time and tell my story to people who don’t even know me but judge me, well first My full name is Kelsey Jo Pierce I’m 16 almost 17 my birthday is November 22, I use to be a happy girl until 7th then everything went don’t hill from there I did stuff I shouldn’t have and when everybody found out they started to call me names like slut, whore, dumb, ugly and they got to me that’s when I started cutting myself every single night I run my bath water got a needle out and started cutting while I was […]

Hey,

I have been thinking about ending my life for over 10 years now, and I have decided that its really time to go. I’ve tried to make something of my life, even though I didn’t wanted to. I have had boyfriends, I pass my exams, I see my friends. But it gets harder and harder to act like I like my live. Nothing I try changes anything. There is nothing wrong with me, I know that, except that I just really hate life. I just don’t want to try anymore.

So I was thinking of drowning myself by anesthetizing myself with Chloroform and making sure that […]

To say no one cares about me would be a lie. I know I am loved. I know that if I pulled something off that I would hurt a lot of people. I have many friends. I am in a leadership position in the military (not stating what branch). Yet I still constantly think about ending my own life. The thoughts probably come every 5 days or so. I just feel as if theres nothing for me or like I’m going nowhere. But this isnt something that just came about. It has been something led into.

When I was about 10, I became the victim of […]

My name is Jordan and I am 18, I have had really bad depression for sometime now and it has only gotten worse. I cannot be happy or smile about anything now. Games and music are all that seems to take my problems away but the depression gets worse. All I want to do it die and end my horrible life. The main reason I have depression is because whenever something good happens to me it doesn’t last long and it leave me devastated. i can’t get a job or a girlfriend and all I seem to do it piss people off, No one is […]

Here I am again, it’s been a long time and nothing has changed. But today, for the first time of my life, I want to fight. Fight against those who want to crush me, fight for those who can’t get up. So, from today, I’m gonna run, run into the life and make my path shine like no one else !