Sleep is out of my reach and I keep awake at night, visualizing all the methods that I can do to hurt myself. Depression and anxiety keeps me from going out of my room to interact with my family and I hate myself for it. I’ve never been this way before, it used to be a once-in-a-while feeling when I was a kid but now it’s getting more and more frequent. Of course, I can still appreciate a good joke and smile but I’m not quite as happy as I used to be. I find myself pointing out my flaws more often, refusing to eat […]

Ever since I was a child I was always so sensitive.  when I was four I was run over by a bycycle and spent 4 hours on the operating table with a plastic surgeon them sewing my face up.   When my mother died when I was 8 I did not speak for a year. My father sexually abused me one year after she died after hitting me to make me scared. My father had seven strokes when I was 18. I went to therapy and never really did drugs or do not drink or smoke you could say I have my life together. but […]

I believe that suicide is not the way out. Right now, you must get yourself together and think.
If you feel pain now. Do you really know where you are going?. It could be worse. Have you thought of that? There must be something that can change your mind. THINK. Please!

Im trying to quit cutting. Im doing it because I want to but Im also trying to mend broken relationships. I need some coping skills. I learned some when ij was in treatment but they didn’t work. I need help!

I’m contemplating suicide.

I visualize my plan frequently, and I can almost feel how it is going to feel when I hold the gun up to my skin.

With tears streaming down my face, I will take the deepest breath that I’ve ever taken in my life, and pull the trigger.

There will be no goodbye letters, and there will be no explanation given. A simple “I’m sorry, please forgive me” will be all.

Sometimes the pain is so severe I feel like screaming.

I haven’t been able to go through with it yet, but as time drags on I feel myself getting closer and closer to the edge.

I just […]

It’s been less than two weeks and I’m back here again. That’s discouraging.
I hurt, and there’s nobody to talk to. Out of my two best friends, one’s away and I’m not supposed to talk to the other, he’s bad for me. And there’s my boyfriend, but he’s away and the problem anyway.
There’s just this disconnect again. He says things that hurt me like crazy, and he doesn’t even know half the time. And he tries to do better but then just does other stuff. And like always he’s so optimistic. He’s away for two and a half weeks, then home for two days […]

I feel like a zombie
Going thru the same routine
Sleeping as much as I can to avoid life
Burning to make the emotional pain go away
These thoughts go thru my head
I can’t even tell no one
I’ll be sent to “the nut house where cutters go”
There is no help

an utterly pass within a past,
is a mark upon the dark,
we the shadows are a curse amongst the living to the worst.
we have forever been in the dark,
a true face is never a mark,
a life within a vessel,
turned to dark,
upon the light we run to the abyss.
by our master we our controlled.
to the fashist to be molded upon a shadow against the light.
we are forever hidden.
never to be seen.
only a glimpse of our passing we forever are cursed as the shadow people.
we take a glimpse of you while you cannot […]

im supposed to be happy

why am i not

im on vacation

i have a girl that loves me

i have a comfy life

why do i still feel like this

why does it come back

it leaves for a bit then comes back again

im tired of it

all of it.

thoughts of suicide have crept in slowly but surely over the past months

fuck

i dont know man

My life has had good times and bad times, grew up in a violent household, but get on well with both parents now.  Average poor kid.  Older brother younger sister.  I have always been rubbish at relationships though, always pick the wrong person but I have come to the conclusion there is no right person.  First guy just stopped loving me.  He said he loved me but he didn’t.  I could tell.  Second guy, we had two kids then he slept with my next door neighbour.  Third guy, we have a kid, but things aren’t good.  This man that I feel like I do everything […]

I’m just your average teenage blogger, I’m average height, weight ect.

Nothing perfect about me, I hate myself, a lot.
I mean I shouldn’t there’s nothing really wrong with me, but I guess my problems are mine and they affect me.
I have been bullied since third grade, hasn’t stopped until now, tenth grade, because I’ve changed, boobs, bum, legs, waist you know how girls grow up, probably why they stopped teasing me.
But the damage has been done, every “you’re fat” “you have no friends” “I hope you die” “I’m coming for you” enough to drive you into fear and hiding, right? I started cutting about three months […]

I have been cutting a lot lately. I have been just cutting on my wrists but then I ran out of room so now im cutting on my thigh. I wasn’t cutting to deep on my wrists but on my thighs I’ve been cutting deeper. How can I properly take care of my cuts? What kind of things will I need to take care of the cuts?

As this blade run across my arms

Feels like i am leaving my pain

There is no other exit

From this unwanted insane

It’s coming out of my skin

Blood is flowing

Pressure is building on my vein

Tears are falling

My skin is tearing apart

Separating me from my pain

But inside i am screaming loud

Oh someone please stop this rain

I am left alone here

Living in this hell

All i see is blood everywhere

I want to get out of this shell

I haven’t used nail paint from a long time

But see how red are my nails

Why am I still here.

Ive seen alot of life stories on here so i figured Id try to write mine.I was born in Canada. We had to move a lot (stereotypical beginning of a broken home lol) for my dad’s job. I guess when they first moved my mom cheated on my dad and thus I was born. We moved from there back to the homestead of flatland Illinois then to New Jersey. My dad was a raging alcoholic (once again very stereotypical). I remember we were supposed to go visit family friends and my dad came home about 14 hours after we were supposed to leave for Pennsylvania […]

If you want to get out of the dark patch of Depression. Go to your nearest mental health centre. For mental mind test for clinical medication. You would be surprised at all the tablets you could take. Don’t worry about God. The Mental Health System will protect you always from the terrible suicide threat in your life. Phone the ambulance. And take your self to Hospital. And Get tested today, for Mental Health now. Take Care and all the Best. From Blessing of the Mental Health System. Take a chance, and get help today.

Hi, Im Nate. Im recently single and in college. Im 22 years old.

Ive been in therapy since i was 11, heavily medicated and de-motivated. Ive been abused verbally and physically, not sexually. I dont ever seem to think about it though. It never seemed to have affected me as much as more trivial things.Ive had some hard things to deal with but nothing like a lot of things Ive read on here.
I just got out of a 2 1/2 year relationship. It was just another […]

I cant sleep….One of those nights where Im up aimlessly searching the internet listening to the same song over and over (johnny cash-hurt). I went on my old myspace page….dont know what the fuck happened with the site but everything is gone except my photos and I was going thru them and Its amazing how time breaks people down….. I look NOTHING like my former self….I look tired, stressed and worn out now. I have pictures with old friends and I cant help but feel so much regret ….. I want to trade places with the Me in the photo…..I just want to get away […]

so here is my story…

it all started when i was born. i guess.. my parents where poor.. my father was a drunk.. year went on and i was a normal child. UNTIL… i was 6.. my brother started this weird thing.. tried to get me to go spy on my sister.. and then put a belt buckle into my bottom. i ran out of the bedroom crying told my mother.. she comes out with you better tell your father.. i remember our home had alot of people there having stuff done to it.. i was young. i new something to do with the septic tank.. […]