If anyone needs someone to talk to, text me. I will give you my number all you have to do is send me an email at Powerissuccess23@gmail.com

I’ve wanted to kill myself a lot lately. It’s mostly because of school, too. I’m a junior and I feel like I’ve already ruined my life because I was such a dumbass the past couple of years and now I’ll never get into a good school. Neither of my parents are wealthy people, in fact they’re quite the opposite and I hate living like this. I don’t want to be like this for the rest of my life. I’m trying so hard in school but I’m so fucking stupid that no matter what I do, even if I turn everything in I still fail half […]

I don’t get it. What did I ever do? My dad says he loves me. But saying “I Love You” and meaning “I Love You” are big differences. Why can’t he love me and accept me. I’m his only daughter. His oldest of of two kids. I’m supposed to be his little girl… Why can’t he love me, why can’t he talk to me, why can’t he hug me, why can’t he tell me nice things, why can’t he be there for me…I just don’t get it.

He says i betrayed him.

I lived with him for 15 years, and our problems were getting worse and worse. […]

5 cuts. I’ve finally got to the point were I’m start cutting myself. On the shoulder so no one will noticed. My mother yelled at me saying that I show no respect to no one. Which is something I don’t mean to do. I try to be as kind and curtious as I can. Its just another reason for the world to hate me and for me to die. My dad says I’m fat. People say I’m stupid. My dad says its my fault for having to go to this place I’m going to. Its a place that kids go to because their BRAINS ARNT […]

I’ve been feeling more okay than usual recently, but tonight it all changed.
It was triggered by just one thing that was said to me that made me feel bad, it wasn’t meant maliciously or anything and to a less fucked up person, it wouldn’t have meant anything because it was nothing.
But those words affected me in the way that words sometimes do.
I ended up lying on my bedroom floor in the darkness for an hour feeling numb and crying at the same time over everything and being beyond tempted to hurt myself.
I don’t feel much better now, I am tired of […]

someone told me to stop being such a *****. i’m not sure what i did though.
i didnt talk much, but i never talk anyways. i dont like talking so i didnt say anything.
then she walked away
my life

buried it for too long.

never have been happy.

feel like the only reason to live is for love.

but all i find is bitches with no morals who want to treat me like sex object.

depressed.

bribed.  given gifts, all i want.  free money.  no rules.  no obligations.  no alarm clock to punch.

any hobby or interest…  given all i need.  but then suddenly am not interested in it anymore.

reduced to waking up.  checking email to see if any far away strangers that i desperately call my friends have written to me.

then have not.

they dont care anyways.  they offer b.s words tho they cant spare more than a moment and […]

My brother went to prison for selling herion, he used it himself too. He was so messed up. For two fucking years. I was 9 when he started using, I didnt know what was going on. But when I was 11 he went to prison, my mom sat me down and told me what was going on. I cryed legitamently for 2 weeks. I skipped school for 2 weeks. I was so scared and I just didnt know what to do. It deffinitly made me change, it made my whole family change. My parents have to raise one of his kids and his wifes parents […]

Today I remain as a 7th grader………….But today alot of things happend…..one of thoose things are….. is a 41 people called me a freak and a loser…..is that sad? One of thoose people was a 4th grader……is that even sadder? I mean my rely to them all was “I know I am a loser and a freak but do you ave to rub it in?”……….Is it sad that my mom steals money from me? Is it sad to laugh at a lol cat picture when you are all alone?

I can’t take back, what we never had.

I can’t take back the mistakes I made.

I can’t take back the things I’ve said.

I can’t take back the pain.

I can’t take back the fighting.

I can’t take back the hurt.

I can’t take back…

Anything.

Everything happens for a reason.

You can move on,

or,

you can forgive but never forget.

Can you?

Will you?

Forgive me…

I’ve been down a hell of a road.

my heart has been broken not just once, but twice.  I dwell on EVERYTHING negative. I’m just no good. I’m struggling with severe depression. :'(

I have considered killing myself, which is still on my mind. I no longer see a reason in living…

Then today happen.

I’m a senior in high school and it his week is homecoming week. I have been watching all my friends laugh and smile, i was jealous. Lately I’ve been feeling the worst I’ve ever felt. I was planning to kill myself this weekend. I had everything set up.

“are you okay Jez?”

Those four words just […]

Someone told me that i should smile more?
I asked why? He said “because you look worred and sad all the time”
I repiled ” Well thats because I am”
He said back “Why?”
I told him my story and he laughed and walked away
Just then i started covering my life with a smile, a huge fake mask
maybe I should wear it for Halloween because “smiles” are scary because you never know what is hiding ehind them

Life, is it worth living? I ask myself the same question over and over, and this is the one place i can say my piece without being judged by people i know…
Once upon a time
I was happy.. life was good.
and it just dropped, nothing was good anymore, life just chose too hate me… when i thought life was getting better, it wasn’t, and i hate life, i don’t want to be here, i hate it, i wish i was dead, i wish i could start all over again, but it isn’t that easy, i dream so much of being a different person, […]

Sometimes I look at the dumb things I do, and it’s like watching a bird that’s stuck in a house, throwing itself against the windows. Again and again. At first you try to guide it out, but you can’t get near it, because it’s too damn panicked. And the more you try the more frantic it gets.

Then, after watching it crack it’s head against the window a few dozen times though, you half-wish the damn thing would just break it’s neck and be done with it.

I’m like that.

Two weeks ago, I found out that my ex (for nearly a year), who I am still sickeningly […]

I’ve been depressed almost all my life.

I have heard all comments about “it’s a disease”  & “It’s not weakness” ,  i feel weak as hell.

To tell you the truth, im a bit dubious about posting here, because im so extremely sensitive to peoples replies,and i can say that all interactions stresses me out.

I have a diagnose, Asperger Syndrome, and im fine with that, even though i got it when i was 16 years old,

when i felt it was too late to fix all that went wrong in school, and the social awkwardness that i have prevented me to continue any kind of studies.

Some days i […]

Either way it goes love sucks. Either way it goes life sucks.

I suck at living on this planet. I’m lazy, I make bad choices, I’m ungrateful, I have no self control. I am currently enrolled at a good university and I am pretty sure I am just going to fail everything this semester. I hate the track my life is on, and I just can’t do this anymore, which just adds to my patheticness because I know for a fact that I have it better than 99 percent of the world population. That’s why I hate myself. I have opportunities, friends, and stuff that I take for granite even though most of it I didn’t even work for. […]

I haven’t posted in a little while. That’s because Life has certainly got a little hectic for me this past month;
Three of my friends, whom knew I was suicidal, told my headteacher, who then pulled me out of lessons and decided
to get me another therapist, and she also gave me a card that will get me out of any lessons if I get upset/overwhelmed.

I’ve started exercising, push ups, lunges, jogging. Drinking more water and less junk, I’ve attempted to sleep more but
my insomnia is proving difficult to push at the moment. The friend that mocked me for being a depressed selfharmer
is not […]

i want to knwo what u guys think about dying.

sometimes, i think when we die good-hearted, we will go fly to heaven like halo-capped angels, but then sometimes i imagine if there was no heaven or hell to go to. I just think sometimes maybe death is just stopping. like stopping to run life. like when u die, u become nothing, and do nothing for the rest of…eternity i guess.

it feels sad to accept that. im not sure if i shud.

This is just a glance into my life so far, long story short.

My parents left me at age 4. I remember them a little, what they looked like, their names.  I am not sure what happened to them at that time. No one spoke about it. I don’t remember asking really. I was passed around to friends of theirs that would help take me in.

Eventually I was raised by a single male family friend from around the age of 6 on. I haven’t seen my parents since the age of 4. The male friend (I called dad) that raised me molested, raped, abused me, starved me, locked me up at times most […]